One of the stereotype differences between women and men concerns what they do if they are lost. The stereotype says that women will ask for directions. If she is lost, it stands to reason, she thinks, that you would simply ask. Get directions and, then, be on your merry way.
Not so, think the men. “I am lost, but I will find my way.” Somehow simply asking does not occur to men. And if it did occur to them, they would summarily dismiss the idea as pure folly. “Why ask,” they say. “I know I will find my way in just a moment. I am sure if I turn here, I’ll know exactly where I am and then I will be merrily on my way.” It is as if asking is genetically beneath the masculine dignity!
I don’t know whether this stereotyping is true. No doubt, there are exceptions even if it seems generally true. It does resonate with my experience enough to make me slightly edgy. On the surface it hints at the stupidity of men…if not worse.
Beyond the gender stereotyping, however, there may be a spiritual issue worth pursuing. Let’s ponder the occasions when asking a question makes perfect sense. And let’s be open to how this may uncover deeper questions about the human spirit that perhaps only asking about God---or even asking the Divinity Itself---makes sense.
In the first place asking a question makes sense if we are ignorant. Ignorance is different than stupidity. Men who continue driving around while they are lost are both ignorant and stupid! But ignorance essentially means I do not know. I cam capable of knowing---I am smart enough---but I just don’t know. There are a huge number of things about which I am ignorant.
I may not know the capital of New Zealand. But I can look it up and learn that the capital is Wellington. Now I know. It is easy to multiply the examples of my ignorance, but in this computer age, it would be easy to find the information.
But when we turn to the God-question, it is not as easy. I may be ignorant about God’s existence. I don’t know. Actually, this makes me an agnostic…one who does not know. I can go to Wickipedia or “google it.” That probably will result in many different answers. But it won’t necessarily be my answer.
Here is where you and I need simply ask. We need to open ourselves and ask if there is a God? If I am not sure God exists, how do I ask God? You don’t. I am going to suggest a subtle move here.
I suggest that we don’t ask the question. I think we become the question. This makes me more like the lost woman driver. Don’t keep plunging on in your lostness assuming you will find---or make---your way. With respect to God we are looking for an experience more than a piece of knowledge or a fact.
If there is a God, God will answer us experientially. We will “know,’ even though it might not be book-knowledge. I am confident I have been “answered” in this way by God. And I also know my answer cannot be your answer any more than my experience of anything can be your experience. We can compare experiences, but we don’t have the same experience.
All this applies to me when I realize I can live life just like a crazy lost guy driving around committed to not asking. I get frustrated, sometimes mad, and in the end, often have to ask anyway!
If I am learning anything, it is simply ask. Pause in my day, open myself, wait---wait for God to come and be present. Lord, I really prefer an experience, anyway. Simply ask.
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