Ride of Life

     Insight is often contained within a story. And a story is often grounded and grows out of an experience. I thought about this sequence as I reflected on an insight which came to me today. The experience was simple and uneventful. My experience was agreeing to take my young grandson to preschool. When my wife is out of town, I am usually the backup for my daughter’s multiple needs. Like many parents of younger kids, she tries to balance a demanding job, two kids and all the rest of her life. I am sure it is more difficult today than when we were bringing up our two kids.

    So dutifully, I showed up at her house early in the morning. My grandson said goodbye to his older sister as she left early for her school. Almost immediately, his mom took off for her day job of being a physician. It was just the two of us standing in the dining room. He is in his first year of preschool, so everything is new---and probably somewhat scary for one his age. But maybe that is just how I project myself back into his situation.

    I don’t really know the route to his school---thank goodness for GPS. So I asked him if he could help me know how to go. With a great deal of confidence, he said he could do that. He is pretty self-sufficient. He jumped into the car seat and I buckled him securely. It caused me to reflect on my own young childhood and riding in the back seat of my parents’ car. There were no seatbelts. I recall sitting in a flimsy chair so I could see out the window. It is amazing my sister and I were not killed!

    I reflected further. I was incredibly vulnerable in that back seat, but I never knew it or felt it. I suspect many of us think we typically feel vulnerable. Of course, sometimes we do. But I realized how often I am vulnerable, but never feel it. In fact, I can be vulnerable and completely ignorant of that fact. It makes me think I could at least be more aware. Sometimes as we are going through life, we actually could add “seatbelts” and be less vulnerable.

    We rejoin my story as we leave the driveway and head in the right direction for his school. At least, I know the direction to head! We made a couple quick turns and I asked him if the route seemed to be the correct one? Suddenly, the confidence was shaky and crumbling quickly. It was still pretty dark; it probably is too much to expect a three and a half year old to have much of a sense of where he is going. I did not press the issue; after all, GPS is everyone’s guide these days. Half the time, no one knows where they’re going!

    Again, I reflected on the little guy’s experience and how analogously that is to our ride through life. Much of the time, we don’t know where we are going. Sometimes we know the destination, but we’re not sure how we are going to get there. We might even know the direction, but not the specifics. And as we learned, we probably are vulnerable in ways we do not even know.

    As we got closer to his school, I could see glimmers of confidence reappear. Within two blocks of the school, the confidence soared. He was full of it! Turning into the driveway of the school made him sure he knew where he was going. I was happy for him. He felt like he was a winner; he had helped me get there.

    I step back to reflect on how much this is like our ride through our lives. With my perspective on faith, we will get there. Ultimately, it does not matter now vulnerable we are---whether we know it or feel it does not matter. But we do have a great deal of freedom with respects to the specifics of how we navigate our way there. As with most analogies, they don’t always work at every level. For example, in the car I did have GPS, so I was very confident I would get to the preschool. But most of us don’t have a GPS for life. It’s more like the old days.

    There are some good maps. For many a good map is the Bible. For many of us, there also is a particular faith tradition. I know my own Quaker tradition is still a good, general map for life. However, increasingly more people are devoid of a faith tradition and reading the Bible would amount to cruel and unusual punishment. This accounts for much of what I call the spiritual drifting evident in our culture today. Sports stars and Hollywood entertainers are poor substitutes for Jesus, the Buddha or other spiritual giants when it comes to helping us get to our destination.

    There is much more to be said about my story of taking my grandson to preschool. I would only add one final point---and it is the most important one.  I mentioned that he felt like a winner when we arrived at the school. But I also was the winner. I had the privilege of some precious time one-on-one with my grandson. He did not have buds in his ears and neither did I. He did not have an iPad and neither did I. We actually talked. It was worth a lot to my daughter that I helped. It was priceless to me because I had something money can’t buy.

    If we can see our lives analogously as a ride of life, it makes a difference who is along for the ride. And it makes a difference how we do the ride. We can be together, but alone---that’s not magic; its technology. If you are going for a ride, choose to do it well. And you’ll probably feel like a winner, too.