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Everything Changes

Everything changes, yes it does.  This was my response as I read the end of a recent article by Judy Esway-Cugino.  I do not know her; in fact, I have never heard about her.  But that does not mean I appreciate any less what she shared in the article.  I began the read assuming I would know what she was going to do.  Her title was, “What I am learning from ‘God’s First Bible.’”  I know the term, God’s First Bible.  I know that it refers to nature.  It is an affirmation that nature was there long before there was a bible---Jewish, Christian or otherwise.  And God’s First Bible functioned to reveal God---tell us something about who God is and what God does.  At least, God is a creator and God is creative.  

The article was about God’s First Bible in a way I expected the author to talk about it.  I know how Richard Rohr uses that same term and I am familiar with how some of the early Christian theologians use it in the same manner.  Esway-Cugino begins the essay by describing her recent move back to Ohio, where she grew up, from four decades of living in Arizona.  In that southwestern state she had been a hospital chaplain and obviously loved it.  Much of the article describes the fact that she has now retired, and this precipitated the move to the Midwest.  

She clearly misses her old job.  Listen to her confess, “I've been grieving my job every moment of every day since I left.  During that first year, I had a recurring dream that I forgot I retired.  I'd show up for work and my boss, Mario, would hire me back every single time.  I texted him about it, telling him I think he owes me a paycheck about now. He replied, ‘Lol, I'm hiring. Miss you.’”  It is poignant to hear her inform us that “My work was immensely rewarding.  It provided meaning, camaraderie, laughter, and most of all, working with an inspiring team, a shared sense of purpose.”  Maybe she has given me words to describe why I have not yet made that move to retirement.

She recounts one particularly moving story of ministry to a woman whose husband died unexpectedly.  She was warned that the woman was very angry.  When Esway-Cugino announced she was the chaplain, the woman shrieked, “Get the hell out of here and take your God with you.”  This indomitable Daniel went right on into the lion’s den.  I loved her response to the angry woman.  “This is not about God. I don't want you to be alone.”  Our chaplain friend then chuckles and tells us in words that teach us, “So, of course, it was about God, but she didn't have to know that. God used me to provide an empathic, non-judgmental, loving presence to a distraught woman whose life had just been turned upside down.”  I hope I am that wise and savvy someday!

Like a good teacher, she tells us what she wants us to learn.  “That's how God works. Anonymously, at times. Maybe most times.”  Theologically, I agree with our chaplain.  And then I saw the connection to her own story about retirement.  She too is in the autumn season of life.  Her leaves have changed colors, and some are beginning to drop to the earth.  Fall in Ohio teaches this in a way life in Arizona never does.  Literally and figuratively, she is now living in Ohio!

We get another poignant moment when Esway-Cugino ponders her work as a chaplain and her life as a retired woman.  She observes, “This is my calling.  Time stands still when I'm doing God's work, when I'm totally present to someone who desperately needs attention and love.  Yet, I know nothing lasts forever.  It's time to move on, I tell myself.  And then I ask, move on to what?”  That is her real question: move on to what?  In effect, this is the question for anyone in transition: move on to what?

This is the point where nature---God’s First Bible---becomes her teacher.  At least in Ohio, nature is a continual study in nature in a mode of change.  Of course, there may be many sunny days in a row in the summer or too many consecutive cold days in the winter, but change is always in the air.  But we know everything changes.  Maybe this becomes more stark as we get older.

Everything changes.  Esway-Cugino helps me see how important reflection is on learning from our experience and finding a way to move on.  Her final counsel in the essay offers encouragement.  She says, “Reflecting on the four seasons gives me hope and courage to move on.  It is a visual reminder that everything changes.  Everything passes.  Everything moves on to where it's supposed to be, in God's timing.”  I find hope in her words that all this is happening in God’s timing.  That is faith statement.  

It will take hope and courage to move on.  But then, what choice do we have, if everything changes?  I take hope in the faith the author has when she says everything changes “to where it’s supposed to be.”  I want to live on into that truth of faith.  One thing I would add to the mix is community.  To be part of a community on this march of time is a big deal for me.  As part of community, knowing everything changes is ok with me.

In community I sense all will be well.  As Esway-Cugnio acknowledges, “with a little help, I will, too.”


https://www.ncronline.org/news/opinion/soul-seeing/what-i-am-learning-gods-first-bible





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