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The Art of Encounter

I appreciate the phrase, “the art of encounter,” which according to Christopher White, is the heart of Pope Francis’ message as he opens the Synod of Bishops in Fall, 2021.  Since I like the Pope and think his words are important, I always pay attention.  After all, he is the spokesperson for some billion plus people around the world.  That is a big audience.  I am intrigued what so many of my Catholic friends think about this process and am eager to see what they expect from it.  And so, I want to lift up some themes that the Pope notes.

In the first place I am curious what the Pope means by the art of encounter.  White gives us some insight.  White tells us the first stage of what really is a process of encountering is that we listen to one another.  Listening is the heart of the art of encounter.  That makes sense to me.  In a hierarchical structure, which the Catholic Church certainly is, it has been par for the course for the Church leaders simply to tell people what they should be doing and thinking.  Of course, that sounds a bit harsh, but I do believe hierarchies always risk this critique.  If I have the power to tell you something, there is little need to listen to you.  

White quotes the Pope, who says it is “time to look others in the eye and listen to what they have to say, to build rapport, to be sensitive to the questions of our sisters and brothers.”  Let’s unpack that one-liner.  In the first place there is a particular posture indicated here: we look each other in the eye.  This suggests to me that encountering the other means we do it on a level of sharing.  It does not necessarily mean we are equals in terms of power.  But it does suggest a posture of respect and valuing the other.  

To look each other in the eye means there is enough respect and valuation that we care about the other person and care about what that person brings to the encounter.  And it presumes I am not going to know that unless I ask you and listen to you.  That takes some time.  It is easy to imagine that the Pope has assumed this posture.  Of course, he has more power than anyone else in the entire Catholic Church. But power does not exclude respect and care for the other.  By calling the Synod, the Pope is encouraging the Church leaders to take the time to engage the process of encountering others---others with much less power or no power at all.

The art of encounter intends to build rapport with each other.  It constructs relationships that are mutual and healthy.  A mutual relationship does not have to be equal.  Parents endeavor to create rapport with their kids, but they are not equal.  The Pope knows what is key to building rapport, namely, being sensitive.  That is so easy to type and deceptively feels easy to do: just be sensitive!  But we know that is not always easy.

Being sensitive is even more demanding when I don’t like the other person.  And if I don’t respect that person, then sensitivity is very difficult.  If that other person thinks differently than I do, the difficulty compounds.  What if the other believes in abortion, is gay, lobbies for the ordination of women and so on?  Clearly, these are the issues that challenge the Catholic Church today.  Non-Catholics have their own issues.  Differences challenge encounter.  Differences fuel disagreements.  And if I have enough power, I win!  Encountering the other is not a contest and there are no winners and losers.  Or maybe, we can all be losers if we do it poorly!

White quotes some more words from the Pontiff.  Francis notes, “Every encounter, as we know, calls for openness, courage and a willingness to let ourselves be challenged by the presence and the stories of others.”  He details three more important components of the art of encounter.  Openness is required.  Again, I image openness as a posture of arms spread in a welcoming manner.  You ask the other to share, to give, and to be honest.  

Encounter does take courage.  It takes courage to be honest, especially if we know our thinking is different from the one sitting across from us.  If there is a power differential, it demands even more courage.  And if I am the one with power, it takes some courage to actually listen and to respect.  The temptation is to do a power-play and tell the other what to think and do---and get on with it.  

If we muster the courage to encounter, this also requires a willingness to be challenged by who the other person is and what they hold dearly.  This becomes really complicated if I go into the encounter with any kind of prejudice or sense that the other is wrong.  The Pope did not mention intent, but I believe it is a factor in the whole process of encountering.  Do we intend to be open, to listen, to respect and so forth?  Or do we intend to fake it till I’m finished, till I change the other or maybe simply wear down the other?

Intentionality is the willingness to let the Spirit into this whole process.  Again, it is so easy to type, but not so easy to incarnate.  It takes even more intentionality to let the Spirit guide this whole process.  I hope the Synod of Bishops can show us all the way.  And then I hope they can invite all the rest of us non-Catholics into another round of encounter.  I can dream this might be an avenue toward spiritual transformation.

I stand ready to participate in the next round of encountering as we all intend to transform the world with the guidance of the Spirit.


https://www.ncronline.org/news/vatican/pope-francis-opens-synod-encouraging-church-master-art-encounter



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