Don’t Covet

I have the pleasure of convening a weekly group called “Soul Work.”  I decided to call it that after reading the wonderful book, Care of the Soul, by Thomas Moore, which appeared in the 1990s.  The idea behind the group is to be involved with a variety of people on my campus who want to think about what it means to live soulfully all the hours we are on campus working.  My concern was if I only attend to my soul on Sundays and when I have time off, I would never have the kind of life I aspire to live.  I do not think Jesus called us to live spiritually on the weekends and our days off!

I know the word, soul, can be a loaded word.  I didn’t care, because I want to use it in the sense that psychiatrist, Gerald May, uses it to mean “the essence of who we are.”  Soul is your core self---the true self in the language of Thomas Merton and so many others.  Like so many folks, I know all too much about superficial living.  I know what it is to portray a self that is not really me.  In fact, too much of my youth was spent trying to be someone not really me.  I was not authentic.

Our little group usually has an engaging, vibrant conversation.  Recently we have been using the book by Sophfonia Scott, The Seeker and the Monk.  Scott writes insightfully about an imagined friendship and conversation with the late Trappist monk, Merton.  She deals with a wealth of human issues that are also spiritual issues.  She has a lovely way of setting up some discussion points and inviting us to think about it in creative ways.  

Very recently we did this with the theme of covet.  I can imagine many of my college-age friends don’t even know that the word, covet, means.  This would be especially true for those who are biblically illiterate---which is a big percentage of them!  Those of us who know the word, typically have notions from the Ten Commandments and not coveting your neighbor’s wife or some version of that.  Certainly, as a kid coveting might normally mean dealing with lust.  Interesting Scott puts the who discussion in a section dealing with idolatry.

Let me share a couple lines from her book and then some thoughts that ensued as our group thought about it.  Scott sets the stage by noting that Merton “saw we are at the mercy of products incessantly paraded in front of us in ads and shop windows, in commercials and in the mail.”  We now can add online, too!  Scott concludes as she follows Merton, “He knew what we see is where our heads and hearts will go.” (21)  I love it when Scott says at this point, “This is what it means to covet.”

Coveting means we really desire something (or someone) we don’t have.  Coveting can rightly be called lusting---and I think that is more than a sex thing.  As I said in the group, coveting is always a desire, but it is desire on steroids!  It is not unusual for coveting to go hand in hand with temptation.  We might pray not to be led into temptation, but honestly, we really want to walk right into it!

As our discussion unfolded, many good observations were offered.  Coveting is a future thing.  We don’t covet things in the past.  We might miss them, be wistful, but that is not coveting.  Coveting is really wanting something I don’t have.  It might be a bad thing, such as my neighbor’s wife, but it might be something that is not bad.  I just want it---badly.  Coveting breeds jealousy, envy and a host of other unfortunate emotions.  To covet something makes me vulnerable to being foolish and, perhaps, even a fool.

If I cannot moderate my coveting, it can become obsessive.  If you think I am wrong, ponder people who admit to being shopaholics.  They usually know it is not really a good thing, but they can’t help themselves.  They spend money they don’t have to buy things they don’t need.  To covet something is not even reasonable.  We use our imaginations to create a scenario in our minds that deceive us to think that if we get what we covet, then life will be exactly what we desperately want.  If we come to our senses, we recognize this undoubtedly is an illusion.

To get something we covet in all likelihood will turn out to be fool’s gold.  Even if it is a good thing, it will not be ultimately satisfying.  In my earlier language, coveting is not soulful.  Soul work seeks to find a way of life that is deeply satisfying.  That usually requires a sense of meaning and purpose.  For many of us, God will be a piece of the answer.  The late theologian, Paul Tillich, says we all are seeking an “ultimate concern.”  We want the answer to the point of life.  Only God---or our ultimate concern---will be that answer.  Anything less than that will prove to be temporary and not ultimately satisfying.

This is exactly what I wanted from a Soul Work group.  I wanted to be with some folks who in the middle of their ordinary days were willing to seek and share about their quest for and understanding of what their ultimate concern would be.  What had they found that deeply satisfied their souls?  Could they help me avoid the illusions that I don’t want to settle for in lieu of the real thing---God.

In effect, I was looking for some soul friends---people to join me on my life quest for meaning and purpose.  I wanted some folks to help me minimize coveting and other things that tempt me to waste my time and resources.  I figure my life is my most valuable resource.  I don’t want to waste it; I want to spend it meaningfully.  My conclusion: don’t covet.