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Love-Based Leaders

I appreciate it when the magazine for alums from my alma mater contains some interesting material I can use in my thinking and work today.  It makes me feel like I am still getting a return on my investment---read tuition dollars!  Arthur Brooks is Professor of the Practice of Public Leadership at Harvard and a social scientist.  Interestingly, he teaches about love and happiness.  What a great job!

I read an interview in which he reflected on the plight of our country, especially post-pandemic.  However, our problems go back further than the attack of the Covid bug.  The problems and the answers are rooted in our human nature and our human freedom, as I would put it.  And that makes them spiritual.  In effect, Brooks is saying our divisiveness is pretty bad right now---as bad as it has been for a long time.

He pulls an interesting term from his academic discipline to describe this.  “Social scientists have measured bitter polarization...the way to measure that is through motive attribution asymmetry, which is the disposition of people who are implacably opposed to each other.”  That’s a cool phrase---motive attribution asymmetry.  Asymmetry means two people are not in line or aligned.  Interestingly, Brooks says, “Both sides believe that they’re motivated by love, but the other side is motivated by hatred.”  Sadly, he says this measurement is as bad in our country as it is between the Palestinians and Israelis!

He offers some fascinating observations.  This kind of polarization leads to political popularism, which he claims basically complains, “Somebody’s got your stuff, and I’m going to get it back.”  We certainly have heard a great deal about that lately.  One more claim by Brooks grabbed my attention.  “Populism is almost always a fear-based ideology.”  This results in bitterness and so much more.  People divide into teams “led by bullies,” he notes.  

We can ask why this is true.  I was intrigued that Brooks suspects one reason is the decline of religion---people affiliating with churches, etc.  The second reason he offers is easily understood: the media.  In fact, the divisiveness we see in the media leads Brooks to suggest the media is a “kind of quasi-religious entertainment industry.”  That strikes me as correct.  Too often, people identify as a FOX person or CNN person.  It makes me long for the days when we identified as a Catholic or Lutheran or a Jew!  Sadly, Brooks says, too many of us “have fused their political views with their social identity.”

A fear-based ideology leads to folks becoming tribal.  I like the way Brooks describes this.  “Fear is the ultimate negative emotion; love is the ultimate positive emotion.”  He adds that love has “a lot of basic trust and compassion for others.  When you have a fear-based ideology, instead of trust and compassion, there’s mistrust and contempt.”  This is a place where it is easy to see how spirituality can become a healing force in our society, as well as make each of us feel better---remember, to love and to be happy.

Brooks takes his analysis further.  He tells us the problem with fear-based thinking is not anger.  “Anger is a hot emotion that says, ‘I care what you think, and I want to change it.’”  The real problem is when fear brings disgust.  Powerfully, he notes, “Disgust is reserved for a pathogen…You curl your lip.  If something is disgusting, you reject it utterly and coldly, so it doesn’t infect you and make you sick.”  That sounds all too familiar.  He offers more detail.  If we mix disgust with anger, we get contempt.  “Contempt is the conviction of the worthlessness of another person.”  That is where we are now---in relationships and politically.  That spells trouble.

Brooks tells us, “The moment you insult someone is the moment you have given up on persuasion.”  Let’s not go there.  We need to turn around.  Brooks is correct when he pleads, “We need love-based leaders who help people understand that we truly have shared loves---for our country, for our values, and for people at the margins…That’s the way forward.”  Let’s join him and go forward.

For those of us who are spiritual---and it is not just a Christian thing---we remember that God is love.  We are loved into being and called to love.  According to Brooks, this means a great deal of basic trust and compassion.  But those are not just ideas or ideals.  They are to be acted out---lived out.  

Secondly, my theology says that all humans are created in the image of God.  Therefore, we all have inherent worth.  It means I cannot let myself get to the point of seeing and dismissing anyone as worthless.  If I think someone is worthless, there is no reason to love.  There is no motivation to compassion.  It all starts with me.  It is not the other person’s problem.  That is what all the great loved-based leaders taught.

We do have a choice.  Now is a really good time to choose to be a love-based leader.

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