Acts of Kindness

I decided to go to breakfast at a local restaurant instead of the usual yogurt or cereal.  That is certainly not a radical decision; people make this decision every day of the year.  My family was gone and it was an easy decision.  I went expecting to have nothing but eggs and bacon and a quick look at email.  In fact, I sat at the counter in order to have a quick breakfast and get on with my day. 

There certainly is nothing special in all that.  I was not looking for nor expecting anything special.  All I wanted were some eggs and toast.  A waitress whom I have seen, but do not know, came fairly quickly and took the order.  I turned to the emails on my phone, which is an announcement to the surrounding world that I don’t want to be in a conversation.  In the context of my teaching, this was hardly a move to make me contemplative.  I guess I was not concerned with being spiritual at that time. 

Within a few minutes the waitress brought my breakfast.  Thanking her, I set about the task: eat and leave---again an absolutely mundane act.  In a couple minutes the waitress returned, asked me if things were ok and then put the check at the top of my plate.  She told me she would check with me and I could pay whenever I wanted to pay---no rush.   

Within a minute or two, the waitress approached again.  She picked up the check and said that someone at the restaurant wanted to buy my breakfast and wanted to be anonymous.  I was floored.  My curiosity was piqued and I was tempted to stand, turn around and scout the crowd to see if I could figure out who the angel was.  A big part of me really wanted to know. I would approach the person and thank him or her.  But I didn’t. 

Instead, I simply ate my breakfast.  Of course, my mind kept wondering if the angel who bought my breakfast might finish and go to the cashier to pay.  I would spot someone I knew and I would know!  But I chose not to keep turning to the cashier station to look.  I decided to take the donor at his or her word.  That person wanted to be anonymous.  Fair enough.   

Gradually, it dawned on me that another lesson---another opportunity---had been afforded me.  I had been given a gift.  I had not gone looking for a gift and had not even thought about the possibility of being gifted.  I have gone to that restaurant many times and paid for my meal every time.  So why would I expect anything different? 

I decided to seize the opportunity and see what it might teach me.  In effect, I tried to turn it into a teaching moment and let it assume some spiritual significance.  I had become a student of grace in a restaurant.  Grace!  That is how I interpreted the act of the angel picking up my check.  I know the classical languages, like Greek, tell me that grace is a gift.  Grace is an unexpected, underserved gift.  You don’t deserve it; you don’t work for it.  It is pure gift.  All you can do is say thanks.   

Since I had decided not to scout the restaurant to find the specific person to thank, I had to figure out an appropriate way to express my gratitude.  Two options occurred to me.  I could assume somehow the person who paid the check was guided by God and, therefore, I could thank God.  I am ok with this thought.  However, my theology does not picture God entering a person’s life and saying to that person, “Go, pick up Alan’s breakfast check and pay it.”  But I am willing to agree that God works in the world---and through people---to bring good to our world.  In that sense, I thank God. 

What I decided to do with my desire to say thanks is very general.  I decided I could adopt an attitude of gratitude.  I could choose to be thankful in general.  If I could do this for a while---an hour, a day and maybe longer---then I would particularize my thanks in many ways with many people.  Instead of being a grump, I would be grateful.  I could learn to drive more gratefully.  If I ever have a saintly sense, that illusion is smashed when I jump in the car.  Instead of blessing, I am more likely to curse!  Being thankful might transform me as a driver. 

There are other, small ways that choosing an attitude of gratitude can help me grow spiritually.  It likely will make me more sensitive.  I will find ways actually to say thanks to people that I might otherwise overlook.  I am sure when I am too self-centered, I miss all sorts of chances to thank people for who they are and what they do.   

Grace comes in many sizes.  Major doses of grace may transform lives in an instant or over time.  Sinners can become pilgrims on the saintly trail.  But most of the time we are dealing with smaller doses of grace---like having the breakfast check picked up and paid for.  This incident opened my eyes to how I might become a grace-giver.  It cost someone $10 to give me one of the best lessons of my life. 

An act of kindness---a small dose of grace---made my day and invited me to become one of those pilgrims on the saintly trail.  It is a long trail to travel, but going to breakfast made a huge difference.  Thanks!