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Suspended by God’s Mercy

I recently heard a presentation by a well-known Thomas Merton scholar, Jonathan Montaldo.  For those who don’t know, Merton was a rather famous Catholic monk from last century.  Although he tragically died in 1968, people are still reading his voluminous works and finding his message timely and meaningful.  I have taught seminars on Merton’s spirituality and count myself among those who find him very relevant for our own day.

Montaldo has edited and written a number of books by and about Merton.  In the presentation I heard, he chose to share a few key passages and reflect on them.  One passage he chose was from Merton’s first book, which made him famous, called Seven Storey Mountain.  It was published in 1948 only a few years after Merton had joined the Cistercian monks at the Abbey of Gethsemani in Kentucky.  Merton had lived a rather troubled, unrooted life.  His mother died when he was young.  His father was an artist and moved around with frequency.  Therefore, Merton spent time in Massachusetts, as well as on Long Island with his grandparents.  Then his dad went off to Bermuda and England and France.  Part of Merton’s pilgrimage to a monastery where he took vows to spend the rest of his life was to find a “home.”  The book I just cited was an autobiographical account of these early years that led to him joining a very strict monastery.

Merton was not religious in his youth.  So part of his story is the fascinating story of coming to a faith that was Christian and, then, choosing to become Roman Catholic.  Then he decides to become a monk. All of this is amazing and rather unbelievable.  But it was real and that is part of what is so captivating about him.  The line that Montaldo uses came from this autobiography.  I did not remember the line, but want to look it up at some point.

Merton said at one point, “suspended by God’s mercy, I am content for anything that can happen.”  Since I don’t know the context, I feel some freedom to interpret it as I see fit.  For me it could be a prayer.  I would pray that I might get to this place.  I am not at all sure I am there yet.  Maybe it is because I don’t have enough faith.  For me faith is trust.  It is related to, but different than belief.  

I can understand theologically the statement.  I believe Merton’s theology would say this is what God can offer all of us.  God is that loving energy that creates and upholds the universe by love.  And mercy is simply a manifestation of that love.  That love of God is like the water and we are the fish.  We are already in it.  At one level, it is not even a matter of belief.  Whether I want to acknowledge it and trust it is actually our choice.  This is where the rub is for me.  Theologically I believe it, but do I trust it with my life?  That is the real question.

So let’s take the step and assume I grow to the place where I trust that I am suspended by God’s mercy.  Then I can be content for anything that might happen.  I feel drawn to this.  It sounds like a life of peace and equanimity.  It does not mean that some bad things might not happen.  Of course, they might.  We are human and we are fragile.  But even if bad things happen, I can be content with them.  No one wants to suffer, but if I believe I am suspended by the mercy of God, somehow I can bear up under my sufferings.  

If all this is true and I can come to live with its truth, then I can relax and not worry about controlling anything.  It is not a license to be irresponsible.  I don’t desire that.  But living with the truth of God’s mercy means I can loosen the tension in life.  It means I can be present without worry.  That is very appealing.  

So what would it take to move to this level of faith and life?  I smiled, because I want to say both not much and a lot!  It would not take much to move to a life suspended by mercy, such that I can be content with whatever.  The good news is it is already in place.  I simply have  accept it and live it.  I don’t need to “do” anything.  However, that is what is so hard.  So many of us are “doers!”  We find it hard to believe anything can be good, if somehow we did not do something to make it true.  

Like me, others may still be in that place that feels like I must have to do something.  Surely, I have to earn it by work, by being good…by some action.  It is hard to believe something like this could just be given!  Again, it is a trust issue.  We become suspicious, instead of suspended by mercy.  We are cautious, instead of content with whatever might happen.  

I very much appreciate these words from Merton.  I want to live into the truth of that.  I know Merton was trying to do so.  I am not sure whether he fully was able to do it.  But that does not mean it is not worthy.  I am in the same boat.  I want to live more fully into this truth that I am suspended by mercy.

I am suspended by the mercy of God.

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