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Pure Gaze

In my reading for the week, I came across an article about an artist.  In my younger days, I never gave art much thought.  I am sure I had the requisite art lessons in elementary school, but I don’t remember them.  I do recall some music times, but I find it interesting that I have no recollection of art times.  To be sure, it was a rural school, but surely there were some occasions we did art.  My lack of art also was not helped growing up on that Indiana farm where there was little appreciation of art, as I recall.  Other than a calendar on the wall, I don’t remember any pictures hanging somewhere.  If there were, they were probably family pictures.

It is likely I had some kind of art appreciation class in college, but I don’t remember that either!  By now some of you might be exasperated and think I actually don’t have much of a memory!  That may be true, but I am still under the illusion that I am doing ok mentally.  I simply think art has played a minimal role in my life.  And I am not proud of that. 

I share this background to provide the context for how I would read an article about art.  The story is about Erin McAtee, who lives and works out of New York City.  In the first paragraph of that article, we are told about her work in art during her college days and then working in a church context and, also, with homeless ministries.  We are told, “McAtee makes artwork that revolves around her craving for intimacy and encounter with others.”  This line got my attention.  I am interested in encounter and intimacy.  Probably most folks are.

Basically, McAtee is drawing people.  The article showed a few pictures, which are quite breathtaking.  They are not like a photo; rather they are how the artist is seeing them.  Oh, they look like people, but it is somehow a little more abstract---but using that word likely misdirects your way of trying to understand what I am saying.  Words are not adequate to describe pictures!  McAtee tells us she is doing “observational drawing.” 

She acknowledges her college professor by saying he, “taught me to look at the people I'm drawing.  I discovered drawing to be a place of encounter.  It was no longer just a sterile thing.”  Again, we see that word, encounter.  And that is what grabs me.  McAtee observes someone---observes them more carefully and closely than I probably do.  I like the word, observe.  It is more intentional and more lingering than simply to say, “I see.”  Observing is more careful and penetrating than merely seeing.  I can see how observing can lead to encounter, in a way that simply seeing someone does not lead to encounter.

All this got serious for McAtee when she realized that her desire for real encounter was actually a spiritual desire and longing.  I can relate to that; it describes my own sense of longing for encounter, too.  I was touched by her words that she, “soon started to notice the correlation between the emptiness within her heart and her craving for beauty in her art.”  Reading that gave me a whole new appreciation for the power and beauty of art. 

McAtee began to take seriously her art as a way to pursue her own spiritual journey.  She spent some time with women who had made a religious commitment---that is, nuns.  She worked with some nuns from the order of Mother Teresa and, then, some Franciscans.  She encountered the homeless population.  The homeless woman was addicted to drugs, was being abused by a lover and finally turned to the Franciscans for help.  In a way she became McAtee’s mentor.

The homeless person decided to go to a rehab center, but first wanted McAtee to draw her image, so she would have a record of what she looks liked before receiving the center’s healing touch.  I was moved by McAtee’s reflections, as she began to observe the homeless woman.  “I noticed how natural it was for her to make eye contact with me.  She wasn't afraid of glancing at the drawing and smiling at her likeness on the paper…So many people are uncomfortable with being looked at.”  The homeless woman added, “We've all been looked at by gazes who don't wish us good … by people who have harmed us.”

This led McAtee to talk about what she calls “pure gaze.”  All this allows us to look critically at our own culture.  McAtee’s critique is to say our culture is too indifferent to people and things to encounter, much less, experience intimacy.  I think she may be correct.  We are more likely to spend much more time on FaceTime than real face time! 

I have a sense of what a pure gaze might be.  I even think I have experienced it---both doing it and being the recipient.  A pure gaze is how God sees each of us.  It is a focused, intentional and, maybe at times, intense gaze.  Obviously, a gaze lasts much longer than a quick peek or seeing in passing.  The gaze does precipitate encounter.  To take time to gaze is to attend—to give attention.  It is to be open to becoming one---to be united or intimate.  It is not sexy; it is spiritual.

I would like to incorporate this into my own spiritual journey.  I can learn much! 




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