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Rowing Your Boat

Having the opportunity to share some thoughts with other people is always a spur to do some preliminary thinking.  I try to assess what I already think about something.  I ponder how to incorporate new things that I am learning.  Usually, I dip into my own experience to see what I know firsthand from my own life.  I try to be aware of and sensitive to how others might hear and understand what I share.  I recognize in many ways I come from a perspective of privilege, although seldom do I think about it that way.  And others would smile knowingly, because everyone who is privileged just thinks that is how life is.

I am not privileged in terms of wealth.  In saying that, I also know as a white American who basically has had a job all of my life, that is a huge privilege.  I see plenty of other people whose bank account is much bigger than mine.  But that even says something about the kinds of friends I might have.  Privileged people don’t always run in the same circles as those with less privilege. 

One area where no one is more privileged than any other is the fact that we all likely will face a little suffering in life and we will die.  Money and fame are no help on this one.  If I am healthy and wealthy, I might add some years to my life compared to others who are less healthy and the poor.  But even so, everyone dies.  That’s the deal.

In saying that, it is even privileged folks have to face a future that is unknown.  Their future may be more predictable and it may normally be a better deal, but we are all heading into our respective futures without fully knowing what is in store. Times of crisis only exacerbate that truth.  If we struggle with the virus pandemic, we might be as scared as the nearby poor guy.  Many health care workers are highly educated and financially well off and they also are more vulnerable than the general population.  A MD or PhD degree does not guarantee the little bug won’t get you!

And so it was that I was thinking about hope.  How does one encourage hope?  How do we generate hopes for ourselves?  Here I am talking about hopes that are deeper than the normal kind that might say, “I hope I can get a new car this year.”  People have all sorts of legitimate hopes.  The college students with whom I work rightly hope to get a good job and be able to enjoy life.  That gets more difficult in times of crisis. 

I have recently read a very helpful book.  Rebecca Solnit pens the book, Hope in the Dark.  It is a demanding book in some ways and not an easy pie-in-the-sky look at life and all the good solutions.  She is writing from much time spent in social justice issues, trying to entice people to support things that are not necessarily popular and may come at some cost, like climate control issues.  Very often, she finds that she is on the losing side---politically speaking.  And yet she has hope. 

Early in her book, she writes a very insightful sentence.  She compares life with the image of a rowboat.  “You row forward looking back…The past is set in daylight, and it can become a torch that we can carry into the night that is the future.” (25)  I find that image attractive because of the positioning of us as if we are row boats.  It is not unusual to talk about “walking into our future” or “facing the future.”  But the rowboat image turns it around.  For sure, we are heading into the future.  However, we are backing into it---or rowing into it; you row forward looking back!

What we actually see is where we have been.  That is in the light and clear.  We can tell you exactly how we got here, even though we don’t know for sure where we are going.  Especially, if that future is yet in the night---in the dark.  Now we are stuck telling you where we hope we are going!  That’s where we want to head.  We typically find the light of the past helps illuminate---slightly---the future ahead.  It can be a kind of torch. 

There are times we know we are in for a change.  Insightfully, she observes, “Change is rarely straightforward…” (23)  I almost laughed out loud at that one.  I know when I am rowing it is not always straight!  I get there, but not always quite the way I envisioned it.  I can truthfully say there were some parts of life where I wobble a bit as I was going along.  Going forward, life may normally be that way.  We should shape our hopes, such that going straight is not expected.  Know where you want to go and be willing to wobble a bit in the process of getting there.

I want to close with a few more words from Solnit.  She tells us, “To hope is to gamble.  It’s to bet on the future, on your desires, on the possibility that an open heart and uncertainty is better than gloom and safety.  To hope is dangerous, and yet it is the opposite of fear, for to live is to risk…”  Reading and thinking about this helps me want to get on with my hoping.  That is better than despair.  I accept it may be somehow a bit dangerous.

And if it is a gamble, then deal me in….

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