Usually I am hesitant to write about things like pain. On one hand, it is more fun and popular to write about things like joy. But there is always that other side of the coin. Of course, most of us would prefer joy to pain. But if we live long enough, we will get some pain in life. There are many levels when we think about pain. There is the obvious physical level. Additionally, there is the psychological and spiritual. No doubt, there can even be a corporate level and, even, societal. In this reflection I want to deal with the physical and spiritual.
I am prompted to think a little more deeply about this after reading the wonderful chapter in Barbara Brown Taylor’s 2009 book, An Altar in the World. I use this in one of my spirituality classes and the students like it. I suppose some of my colleagues would dismiss it as being too lightweight for academic considerations, but I figure pain is heavy enough! And it certainly seems to be part of life.
Taylor uses her own experience to explore this timely subject. Taylor is an Episcopal priest as well as teaches in a small college in Georgia. She writes insightfully and articulately. Students would say she is down to earth. Sometimes this means they actually understand her! But it is more than that. They feel like she has something to teach them. I feel the same way.
One of the things she says in this chapter about pain is “there is a distinction between pain and suffering…” (161) For a long time she used these two terms---pain and suffering synonymously. I suspect many folks do. This is usually the first question I pose to students: “do you think pain and suffering are the same thing?” Taylor is helpful when she quotes the American Medical Association, which says pain is “an unpleasant sensation related to tissue damage.” I am sure I know what this means!
Anytime we have an injury physically, this definition of pain is true. As Taylor says, “Pain originates in the body.” It is easy to recognize a huge range of pain. If I exercise a bit too much, I might hurt a little, but it is not too bad. In fact, this kind of pain often makes me feel good about myself. Pushing it a little further, we all know the experience of stubbing our toe, running into a table---all that mishaps that cause considerable pain in the moment. Some pain is like the throbbing of an infected tooth, stomachache and the list goes on. There is always aspirin and this certainly helps erase the pain in the immediate sense. And then there is extreme pain. I am not sure I actually have been to that point. This topic makes me feel unworthy to offer any insight.
When we turn to suffering, it gets more difficult to describe. As pain originates in the body, so Taylor observes, “Suffering…happens in the mind.” She continues in a way that opens the topic to our thinking. She notes, “The mind decides what pain means and whether it is deserved. Again, that makes sense to me. I begin to hear her saying that suffering is a more reflected upon state of being. She uses some examples to make her point.
“The mind notices who comes to visit and who does not. The mind remembers how good things used to be and are not likely to be again. The mind makes judgments, measures loss, takes blame, and assigns guilt.” This causes me to begin wondering whether suffering is actually a choice we make. This confirms something someone once told me about Buddhist. A Buddhist, I was told, says that “pain is necessary, suffering is an option.” I was never sure whether I believed this to be true. But with Taylor’s guidance, I think I say it is true.
It is a big step to say that we choose our suffering. It has some significant repercussions. Thinking that way feels like it makes suffering my fault. It would be easy to be cavalier and simply say to someone, “Well your suffering is something you are choosing; just quit it.” That certainly does not sound compassionate! I am not sure I am ready to make up my mind. So I need to stick to my own experience to keep my thoughts limited. I do think pain is inevitable---maybe even necessary. If I stub my toe, I am going to feel pain. In this sense pain is not a choice. But I don’t have to suffer. I don’t have to blame myself for being klutzy or awkward. I am not guilty because I stubbed my toe. Yes, I could slow down, watch my step, etc. That reduces the chances of stubbing the toe. But humans do have accidents. No one plans an accident! It happens.
Since suffering is an issue with our minds, in that sense we do choose how to view it, what to do with it, and so forth. The mind does make judgments, measures loss and all that Taylor alleges. If I am not well, I can make it worse, i.e. begin to suffer, if I start feeling let down by others, wailing that “no one cares about me” and scheming how I might get even. That kind of suffering is chosen and unnecessary.
As Taylor indicates in the chapter, all this implicates God. Where is God in all this? I don’t want to go there in this reflection piece. Right now I just want to be clear that pain is a reality and I can choose how to deal with it---take an aspirin, tough it out, pull the tooth, etc. Pain is a given. Suffering, on the other hand, does seem to be a choice. I can work with my mind and my outlook to determine how much suffering I really want.
This is a lot to think about. And that is often what students say, “thinking is a pain!” They may mean suffering!!
I am prompted to think a little more deeply about this after reading the wonderful chapter in Barbara Brown Taylor’s 2009 book, An Altar in the World. I use this in one of my spirituality classes and the students like it. I suppose some of my colleagues would dismiss it as being too lightweight for academic considerations, but I figure pain is heavy enough! And it certainly seems to be part of life.
Taylor uses her own experience to explore this timely subject. Taylor is an Episcopal priest as well as teaches in a small college in Georgia. She writes insightfully and articulately. Students would say she is down to earth. Sometimes this means they actually understand her! But it is more than that. They feel like she has something to teach them. I feel the same way.
One of the things she says in this chapter about pain is “there is a distinction between pain and suffering…” (161) For a long time she used these two terms---pain and suffering synonymously. I suspect many folks do. This is usually the first question I pose to students: “do you think pain and suffering are the same thing?” Taylor is helpful when she quotes the American Medical Association, which says pain is “an unpleasant sensation related to tissue damage.” I am sure I know what this means!
Anytime we have an injury physically, this definition of pain is true. As Taylor says, “Pain originates in the body.” It is easy to recognize a huge range of pain. If I exercise a bit too much, I might hurt a little, but it is not too bad. In fact, this kind of pain often makes me feel good about myself. Pushing it a little further, we all know the experience of stubbing our toe, running into a table---all that mishaps that cause considerable pain in the moment. Some pain is like the throbbing of an infected tooth, stomachache and the list goes on. There is always aspirin and this certainly helps erase the pain in the immediate sense. And then there is extreme pain. I am not sure I actually have been to that point. This topic makes me feel unworthy to offer any insight.
When we turn to suffering, it gets more difficult to describe. As pain originates in the body, so Taylor observes, “Suffering…happens in the mind.” She continues in a way that opens the topic to our thinking. She notes, “The mind decides what pain means and whether it is deserved. Again, that makes sense to me. I begin to hear her saying that suffering is a more reflected upon state of being. She uses some examples to make her point.
“The mind notices who comes to visit and who does not. The mind remembers how good things used to be and are not likely to be again. The mind makes judgments, measures loss, takes blame, and assigns guilt.” This causes me to begin wondering whether suffering is actually a choice we make. This confirms something someone once told me about Buddhist. A Buddhist, I was told, says that “pain is necessary, suffering is an option.” I was never sure whether I believed this to be true. But with Taylor’s guidance, I think I say it is true.
It is a big step to say that we choose our suffering. It has some significant repercussions. Thinking that way feels like it makes suffering my fault. It would be easy to be cavalier and simply say to someone, “Well your suffering is something you are choosing; just quit it.” That certainly does not sound compassionate! I am not sure I am ready to make up my mind. So I need to stick to my own experience to keep my thoughts limited. I do think pain is inevitable---maybe even necessary. If I stub my toe, I am going to feel pain. In this sense pain is not a choice. But I don’t have to suffer. I don’t have to blame myself for being klutzy or awkward. I am not guilty because I stubbed my toe. Yes, I could slow down, watch my step, etc. That reduces the chances of stubbing the toe. But humans do have accidents. No one plans an accident! It happens.
Since suffering is an issue with our minds, in that sense we do choose how to view it, what to do with it, and so forth. The mind does make judgments, measures loss and all that Taylor alleges. If I am not well, I can make it worse, i.e. begin to suffer, if I start feeling let down by others, wailing that “no one cares about me” and scheming how I might get even. That kind of suffering is chosen and unnecessary.
As Taylor indicates in the chapter, all this implicates God. Where is God in all this? I don’t want to go there in this reflection piece. Right now I just want to be clear that pain is a reality and I can choose how to deal with it---take an aspirin, tough it out, pull the tooth, etc. Pain is a given. Suffering, on the other hand, does seem to be a choice. I can work with my mind and my outlook to determine how much suffering I really want.
This is a lot to think about. And that is often what students say, “thinking is a pain!” They may mean suffering!!
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