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When a Friend Calls

I was settling into the evening. Dinner was out of the way and I was ready to begin the reading for the classes the next day. Then the phone rang. There is a great deal to like about modern phones. For one thing, if you have entered names of people, it shows who is calling. I glanced at the ringing phone and saw the name of my friend. Instead of simply saying, “Hello,” and waiting for the sound of the other voice, I knew whose voice I would hear. It was my friend calling. I was delighted.

Not all phone calls delight me. But when my friend calls, I am delighted. It was good to hear from him. It was good to hear the latest news. He is one of the regular readers of this inspirational journal and always has comments that I find very welcome. I like it when he queries me about a particular piece.

Sometimes, I think he knows more about what I have written than I do! Just last night, he picked on a single paragraph in a recent offering I had made. I could not immediately remember the piece and he was going to ask me about a detail! I smiled because I know that is how much he cares about what I am doing and about me.

Maybe that is one of the special functions of friends. No doubt, there are many functions, but the functioning of caring is very meaningful. Some people are fortunate to have a built-in system, which assures you that you are cared for. No doubt, some families and relationships are such that you hear daily that you are special…that someone cares about you. But many folks are simply not that fortunate.

I dare say there are huge numbers of people in our society who seldom---and maybe, never---hear a word of care. They may never get a gesture that assures them someone cares. Do a test for yourself. Have you any evidence yesterday that anyone cared for you? Was there any indication that someone cares about you?

I don’t worry if I cannot come up with an incident. I do not have to have someone during the day say directly, “Hey, you know I care about you.” I do not need the literal words.

But I do covet some gestures of caring. Of course, many of those gestures are oblique. They may not come right at us. It might be the student who held the door because my arms were full of books. It might be the store clerk who smiled when you ordered the morning cup of coffee. The gesture does not have to come from a friend or a colleague.

When a friend calls, it delights me. Last night it was literally a call. My phone rang and it was my good buddy. But sometimes, it is more metaphorical. “My

friend” might be a whole host of folks I know, know only slightly, or have just encountered. I think about how Jesus redefines the “neighbor” to mean any “other person” whom I am expected, as a disciple, to love.

So if that “neighbor” calls, I want to be delighted, just as I was when my buddy called last night. It is going to take some work for me. Sometimes, the phone does not have a name indicated; it is just a number. I do not know who is calling.

I know I have some spiritual growing to do. I am delighted when my friend, whom I know, calls. I want to grow so that I can be delighted when any neighbor calls. I want to be able to transform the unknown “numbers” who call in my life into real “people” who become neighbors and, even, friends.

This is the secret of friendship, the magic of community, and the secret to peace-making. Thanks friend for calling. Today I am making some calls myself.

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