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Conversion

Sometimes I read something that reminds me why I began my engagement with studying religion.  That interest emerged in an inarticulate form as I finished high school.  Often that is the first time young folks begin to think about life in new ways.  It can be precipitated by the fact that leaving home for college is an impending reality.  I think that was the case for me.

However, I don’t think I realized my emerging questions were really of the religious kind.  In part, this is because of the rather narrow understanding I had of religion.  In retrospect I realize I had almost solely indentified “religion” with “going to church.”  Of course, there is nothing wrong with that association, but today I would never equate the two.  And of course, I know enough today never to assume “religion” was exclusively tied up with Christianity.  But given the fairly narrow provincialism of my Indiana farm context, I was limited.

Somehow that little world began to expand.  College was part of it.  And the Vietnam War was part of it.  It began to dawn on me that I might be called to go half way around the world to kill and/or be killed.  I did not know how to think about that kind of stuff.  I realized I did not know at some deep level even who I was.  I knew a lot about who other people thought I was. 

In my language today I was ready to begin a spiritual quest.  Many writers have suggested the spiritual quest is always a search for God and, simultaneously, a search for one’s true self.  That began to make sense to me.  And there were some in a variety of religious traditions who thought I needed to experience a conversion.  I realized that I did not like that word!

As is often the case, a variety of readings come along in life that aid the growth process and enhance one’s learning and understanding.  One such book for me was Alan Jones’ book, Soul Making.  I was attracted to that idea of the making of the soul.  That resonated more than being born with a pre-packaged soul.  A pre-packaged soul implies you are born with the soul, add a little water (experience?) and watch it grow.

As my theology developed, it made sense to understand that I probably was born with a soul, but it was more like a “soul plan.”  God expected me to “make” my soul…with God’s help, of course.  This made sense because then I could understand why there were such “good souls” out there and why there were such “deformed souls,” the souls who brought wars, beat kids, etc.

And then I hit a passage from Jones that clicked.  He said, “Conversion…is about soul making.  It is not material for the ten o’clock news.  It takes time to make a human being, and conversion is that continual process of being made and re-made.  In one sense, it is never complete.” I suppose some folks would be furious or disappointed to think their souls are “in process” and not already complete.
But I am glad, actually, that I still am in process.  It is intriguing each day to wonder what soul making might take place.  Where or how will I experience conversion today?  Whom will I meet that might precipitate another little twist to my conversion process?  What will I do that might make my soul in a more interesting fashion?

To think that I am already complete is to discourage any potential growing I might do.  And of course, I recognized the risk of my position.  I might choose to do unhealthy things and that would add a deforming quality to my soul work.  I can become a bad guy…a guy you would not like and God would find quite disappointing.  For sure, I would need conversion in that event.

So join me this day in asking that God help us with a little more conversion.  Let me be attentive and diligent in making my soul a little more spiritual, a tad bit more loving, a tiny bit more gracious.  And let me be a leaven in your conversion---your soul making.  And may we all be leaven in the lives of all we meet.

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