Recently Jean Vanier died. Among the contemporary spiritual people and writers, he was a giant in my mind. I never met him. I know about his call to found the L’Arche communities for disabled people. That French word, Arche, means “ark.” He established these communities and then would ask abled mind and body people to move into the community and help care for those apparently less fortunate people. As so often in the world of the Spirit, ironies abound. Those who assumed they were normal and would be the caregivers and helpers wound up being cared for in ways they could not imagine. And they were helped beyond belief.
Many of us who think about things spiritual follow Kristi Tippett’s offerings in her On Being program. I had forgotten that she had done an interview with Vanier back in 2007. So I took this opportunity to go back to that earlier time and see what Vanier was thinking and shared with Tippett. In Tippett’s opening thoughts, she notes, “It took me a while to put a name to the rare quality that is palpable in Jean Vanier’s life and presence. It’s a wisdom of tenderness.” That is a wonderful way to characterize someone; a person with a wisdom of tenderness.
Vanier’s first comments pick up on this theme of tenderness. He shared what he thought these L’Arche communities were achieving. “It’s the realization of how to create a culture which is no longer a culture just of competition, but a culture of welcoming, where tenderness, where touch is important.” Again, that phrase, “a culture of welcoming,” attracts me. I resonate with it because it is an appropriate way to describe what I think all spiritual communities should aspire to create. It is also what I aspire to help foster in my own classroom at the university.
Interestingly, much of Vanier’s intellectual and life focus is grounded in the thinking of the classical Aristotle. He reveals this in a longish quotation. “You see, the heart of everything with Aristotle: desire and pleasure. For Aristotle, pleasure is not something which is just sort of fooling around. Pleasure is when you have an activity, which you have performed well, be it philosophizing or struggling for justice, whatever you do and you do well — it’s filled with pleasure. It’s joyful, the fulfillment of a desire in an activity you’re doing well.”
I am fascinated that Vanier can take Aristotle’s idea of an “ethic of desire” and turn it into his spiritual foundation. And he cleverly hooks up desire and pleasure. Of course, most of us want our lives to be pleasurable. And for contemporary folks, pleasure means happiness. And then Vanier hooks pleasure to an activity we do well. In a sense pleasure is a by-product of doing something well. For him it just happened to be taking care of people who needed help. And the cool part is so many folks willingly want to jump in and offer their help. Again, that is a kind of spiritual irony.
It would be easy to be cynical, dismiss him as a kind of nut case, but he is authentic and realistic. In a funny way, he recognizes some folks get pleasure in ways that make us smile. Vanier comments, “Yeah, it’s just finding what activity will give you the greatest, the deepest pleasure. For some people it might be drinking whiskey, rock, and so on. But for me it was to find a meaning through philosophy, through my relationship with Jesus, through justice, through a struggle. And it’s true that I sense deeply that I’ve always been, really, a happy person.”
Some of us may have tried whiskey. Short-term it might bring pleasure, but it is not a satisfactory long-term option. That is why Vanier’s life and witness is so powerful. And that is why some many folks around the globe both mourn and celebrate his death. He has showed us a way. It does not have to be our way. But he shows us how to do it. Get in touch with our desire, find an appropriate activity and if it is real, pleasure will be ours. It is simple, but maybe not easy.
Vanier offers us a clue. He says the clue is to get in touch with our deepest desire. And he thinks he knows what the deepest desire is for humans. He claims, “…somewhere, the deepest desire for us all is to be appreciated, to be loved, to be seen as somebody of value.” That nails it for me. To be appreciated. Who does not long for that. To be loved. That is even better than being appreciated. Finally, to have folks see us as a person of value. I would prefer being valuable than being worthless. Vanier is on to something.
He saw in the disabled the same desire to be appreciate, loved and seen as having value as he saw in all others. This is truly human. This is human because it is linked to our deepest desire. Effectively, he is saying this is what all of us want. That makes sense to me.
As I hear him talk, I realize how much so many of us waste time and effort chasing things that make no sense and do not offer deep pleasure. It makes me think about the craziness of our culture and the blatant media offerings which will not make me feel appreciated, not loved and which does not make me feel valued. In fact, you probably can’t buy it or coerce it.
I think I see it now in grandkids, in grateful students and good friends. I probably won’t join a L’Arche community, but I can be part of similar communities where I can be given real pleasure. That’s the real deal.
Many of us who think about things spiritual follow Kristi Tippett’s offerings in her On Being program. I had forgotten that she had done an interview with Vanier back in 2007. So I took this opportunity to go back to that earlier time and see what Vanier was thinking and shared with Tippett. In Tippett’s opening thoughts, she notes, “It took me a while to put a name to the rare quality that is palpable in Jean Vanier’s life and presence. It’s a wisdom of tenderness.” That is a wonderful way to characterize someone; a person with a wisdom of tenderness.
Vanier’s first comments pick up on this theme of tenderness. He shared what he thought these L’Arche communities were achieving. “It’s the realization of how to create a culture which is no longer a culture just of competition, but a culture of welcoming, where tenderness, where touch is important.” Again, that phrase, “a culture of welcoming,” attracts me. I resonate with it because it is an appropriate way to describe what I think all spiritual communities should aspire to create. It is also what I aspire to help foster in my own classroom at the university.
Interestingly, much of Vanier’s intellectual and life focus is grounded in the thinking of the classical Aristotle. He reveals this in a longish quotation. “You see, the heart of everything with Aristotle: desire and pleasure. For Aristotle, pleasure is not something which is just sort of fooling around. Pleasure is when you have an activity, which you have performed well, be it philosophizing or struggling for justice, whatever you do and you do well — it’s filled with pleasure. It’s joyful, the fulfillment of a desire in an activity you’re doing well.”
I am fascinated that Vanier can take Aristotle’s idea of an “ethic of desire” and turn it into his spiritual foundation. And he cleverly hooks up desire and pleasure. Of course, most of us want our lives to be pleasurable. And for contemporary folks, pleasure means happiness. And then Vanier hooks pleasure to an activity we do well. In a sense pleasure is a by-product of doing something well. For him it just happened to be taking care of people who needed help. And the cool part is so many folks willingly want to jump in and offer their help. Again, that is a kind of spiritual irony.
It would be easy to be cynical, dismiss him as a kind of nut case, but he is authentic and realistic. In a funny way, he recognizes some folks get pleasure in ways that make us smile. Vanier comments, “Yeah, it’s just finding what activity will give you the greatest, the deepest pleasure. For some people it might be drinking whiskey, rock, and so on. But for me it was to find a meaning through philosophy, through my relationship with Jesus, through justice, through a struggle. And it’s true that I sense deeply that I’ve always been, really, a happy person.”
Some of us may have tried whiskey. Short-term it might bring pleasure, but it is not a satisfactory long-term option. That is why Vanier’s life and witness is so powerful. And that is why some many folks around the globe both mourn and celebrate his death. He has showed us a way. It does not have to be our way. But he shows us how to do it. Get in touch with our desire, find an appropriate activity and if it is real, pleasure will be ours. It is simple, but maybe not easy.
Vanier offers us a clue. He says the clue is to get in touch with our deepest desire. And he thinks he knows what the deepest desire is for humans. He claims, “…somewhere, the deepest desire for us all is to be appreciated, to be loved, to be seen as somebody of value.” That nails it for me. To be appreciated. Who does not long for that. To be loved. That is even better than being appreciated. Finally, to have folks see us as a person of value. I would prefer being valuable than being worthless. Vanier is on to something.
He saw in the disabled the same desire to be appreciate, loved and seen as having value as he saw in all others. This is truly human. This is human because it is linked to our deepest desire. Effectively, he is saying this is what all of us want. That makes sense to me.
As I hear him talk, I realize how much so many of us waste time and effort chasing things that make no sense and do not offer deep pleasure. It makes me think about the craziness of our culture and the blatant media offerings which will not make me feel appreciated, not loved and which does not make me feel valued. In fact, you probably can’t buy it or coerce it.
I think I see it now in grandkids, in grateful students and good friends. I probably won’t join a L’Arche community, but I can be part of similar communities where I can be given real pleasure. That’s the real deal.
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