Twice a year I have the privilege of reading papers from students in my spirituality classes. That may not sound like much fun. But the papers are so personal, I cannot help but appreciate the effort the students put into them. I understand there may be cynics who probably think students can make up stuff and I would never know. That is doubtlessly true. But I am willing to say that does not hurt me. It is sad for them to choose to lie about something that should be authentic. Most of the time, I choose to believe what I am reading is the truth.
I try to get to know the students during the semester. After all, I am teaching spirituality. It should be about life, meaning, purpose and even truth. Of course, I recognize that some of life is trivial. Not everything I do or say is profound. And the same is true for my friends in class. But if life has no depth or meaning, then life is probably not worth living. And that is what the class is all about: living a life of worth---a worthwhile life. I don’t know anyone who does not care about this. The real question is how to do it?
In many cases I do not know the student when class begins the semester. However, through fifteen weeks I feel like I do create a relationship and get to know them. Of course, I know some of them better than others. And it is not unusual to get to know some of the details of their lives. In the case of one particular class this time, I learned about the death of a mother of one of our graduating seniors. His mother died when he was a senior in high school. And I think it is fair to say, he is not completely finished with the grieving of his mom.
I am sure I never to get to know everything about the students. In fact, I wonder if we ever to get know everything about anybody. Even within families I doubt that we know everything. Heck, I don’t think I know everything about myself! After all, humans continue to grow, develop and change depending on experiences of life. We are humans-in-progress. And I am grateful for this.
And so when I set out to read papers at the end of a semester, I am confident I have come to know the people fairly well. But I am sure I do not know that much. Some papers are predictable. What the person says fits the person I have come to know throughout the semester. I have heard them trying out new ideas. I have watched them grow in some ways which appear in the paper. Sometimes, a student never fully engages the class and their paper typically is less personal and more superficial. They are telling me some things to pass the class, but I can tell they are not really present here.
And then there are always the surprises. Sometimes the surprises are almost breathtaking. Sometimes I learn about a suicide in the family. As someone begins to tell this story, I am taken beneath the surface of their life to be with them at a level I never reached during the weeks of the semester. Sometimes, I had a sense there was something, but had no clue. Other times, I had no clue something like this was going on.
I read a paper today which shared the story of a suicide. The story still felt raw. As I read on in the paper, I could sense the poignancy of both the moment and the ongoing aftermath. It was easy to understand the student writing this paper had to deal with the fact of suicide in the family as she processed all the stuff of the semester. We had dealt with issues of faith and doubt, meaning and meaningless, etc. These are hard questions when you have experience like she does.
It reminds me that all of us have lives beneath the surface. If we are honest, we all know there is stuff bubbling beneath the surface. Sometimes it has to do with our doubts and our fears. Sometimes things from our past---failings and shortcomings---are running underground of our public persona. Too often, we feel alone. Of course, sharing this is not a requirement of life. But we know that if we don’t share this with someone, then we will never be known as a person—at least fully known. And I am confident deep down, we all want to be known.
The spiritual perspective for me is to believe that God is available---if no one else can do---to share this and to know us. I recognize that many folks simply do not think this is true. I think humans are made such that we desire to know and to be known. There is this inner urge toward this mutual sharing and knowing. Sometimes it can be done with other people. And sometimes only God will do.
This is what I think about when I am reading these papers. As students begin to write about their real lives, some of them are brought to the place where this urge to share and to be known compels them to put it into the paper. I recognize this is a safe way to do it. I am not there to respond.
And then I can do one more thing. I can turn to God and ask that God meet them where they are and to touch their lives beneath the surface. Love and heal them.
I try to get to know the students during the semester. After all, I am teaching spirituality. It should be about life, meaning, purpose and even truth. Of course, I recognize that some of life is trivial. Not everything I do or say is profound. And the same is true for my friends in class. But if life has no depth or meaning, then life is probably not worth living. And that is what the class is all about: living a life of worth---a worthwhile life. I don’t know anyone who does not care about this. The real question is how to do it?
In many cases I do not know the student when class begins the semester. However, through fifteen weeks I feel like I do create a relationship and get to know them. Of course, I know some of them better than others. And it is not unusual to get to know some of the details of their lives. In the case of one particular class this time, I learned about the death of a mother of one of our graduating seniors. His mother died when he was a senior in high school. And I think it is fair to say, he is not completely finished with the grieving of his mom.
I am sure I never to get to know everything about the students. In fact, I wonder if we ever to get know everything about anybody. Even within families I doubt that we know everything. Heck, I don’t think I know everything about myself! After all, humans continue to grow, develop and change depending on experiences of life. We are humans-in-progress. And I am grateful for this.
And so when I set out to read papers at the end of a semester, I am confident I have come to know the people fairly well. But I am sure I do not know that much. Some papers are predictable. What the person says fits the person I have come to know throughout the semester. I have heard them trying out new ideas. I have watched them grow in some ways which appear in the paper. Sometimes, a student never fully engages the class and their paper typically is less personal and more superficial. They are telling me some things to pass the class, but I can tell they are not really present here.
And then there are always the surprises. Sometimes the surprises are almost breathtaking. Sometimes I learn about a suicide in the family. As someone begins to tell this story, I am taken beneath the surface of their life to be with them at a level I never reached during the weeks of the semester. Sometimes, I had a sense there was something, but had no clue. Other times, I had no clue something like this was going on.
I read a paper today which shared the story of a suicide. The story still felt raw. As I read on in the paper, I could sense the poignancy of both the moment and the ongoing aftermath. It was easy to understand the student writing this paper had to deal with the fact of suicide in the family as she processed all the stuff of the semester. We had dealt with issues of faith and doubt, meaning and meaningless, etc. These are hard questions when you have experience like she does.
It reminds me that all of us have lives beneath the surface. If we are honest, we all know there is stuff bubbling beneath the surface. Sometimes it has to do with our doubts and our fears. Sometimes things from our past---failings and shortcomings---are running underground of our public persona. Too often, we feel alone. Of course, sharing this is not a requirement of life. But we know that if we don’t share this with someone, then we will never be known as a person—at least fully known. And I am confident deep down, we all want to be known.
The spiritual perspective for me is to believe that God is available---if no one else can do---to share this and to know us. I recognize that many folks simply do not think this is true. I think humans are made such that we desire to know and to be known. There is this inner urge toward this mutual sharing and knowing. Sometimes it can be done with other people. And sometimes only God will do.
This is what I think about when I am reading these papers. As students begin to write about their real lives, some of them are brought to the place where this urge to share and to be known compels them to put it into the paper. I recognize this is a safe way to do it. I am not there to respond.
And then I can do one more thing. I can turn to God and ask that God meet them where they are and to touch their lives beneath the surface. Love and heal them.
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