A big part of why I continue to read as much as I can is how much it helps me be informed and figure out what I think about myself, God and our world. I suspect reading is necessary to mental growth. I know I am growing older---everyone is. But I don’t want to get stuck or become content with where I am. There is so much need for new perspectives, new answers and even new questions.
I know this is true when I reflect on myself and what I know. I feel pretty secure in some of the things I know. I know I love my kids and can’t image anything changing that love. I know I love my kids, but I also know I have to switch to language of faith when I talk about not being able to control how they think or what they do. I have faith they will do things in the right way. I have faith that they will be good parents to their own kids. In this sense faith is different than knowledge.
When it comes to God, I realize that faith is more primary than knowledge. Of course, I can say “I know God.” At one level, I do think I know God. But it is certainly a different order of knowledge than when I say “I know that my car is red” or some such sentence. Anyone who is not color blind knows that car is indeed red. When it comes to God, I acknowledge faith is primary. I have faith in God. I have faith that God loves me and loves you. I cannot prove that God exists or that God loves us. I can’t show you God like I can show a red car.
In saying that faith is primary, I realize I open the door to doubt. When I say I have faith in God, I also know that there is some element of doubt. When I was early in my faith journey, doubt often felt threatening. I tended to see doubt as the opposite of faith. That set up an unfortunate either/or. Through the help of some books I read and some wise people who came into my life, I realized doubt is not opposed to faith. I accepted that doubt actually played a role in my faith development. In fact, I realized faith belonged along with doubt in a both/and relationship. I now see doubt to be a part of faith.
In this I find a colleague in my friend Alan Jones. In his book, Soul Making, Jones assures us, “Doubt is part of the arsenal of faith. It keeps it fresh and honest. In our daring to argue and in our struggle to understand, the blood begins to flow through a tired and worn-out faith.” I am reassured when Jones joins me in seeing doubt as part of faith---part of the arsenal of faith as he puts it. And I like how he develops that a bit.
Doubt keeps faith fresh and honest. I resonate with this. Recently, I have been doing quite a bit of reading and thinking about the nature and role of evolution in understanding our world. The bulk of the scientific community affirms that evolution is the way to understand the formation of our universe over some 13+ billion years. While I have no way of knowing for sure, I am willing to take their perspective on faith. Again, I can’t prove it, but I have faith in their knowledge. What I also can do is be open to how evolution necessarily affects the way I understand God.
Dealing with the evolution of our world means I need to have a view of God that works in the way that fits an evolving world. As I learn this, I begin to doubt the more child-like view of God that characterized my early faith. This is how doubt is keeping my faith honest. And for sure, this reading in evolution has freshened my faith. If I am honest, I have to let go of inadequate views of God. But the good news is that love is at the heart of this evolving world, according to Ilia Delio, a Franciscan sister, scientist and theologian, whom I have been reading. Her way of looking at the world and God helps me to have a fresh, more adequate picture of the Holy One. God still loves me and you, but maybe in a way that differs than how I used to think.
I appreciate that Alan Jones affirms that some of the faith journey entails arguing and struggling. This is a relief for me. It counters the feeling I received from people in my early faith journey. Some of these folks implied that arguing was not appropriate in the journey of faith. Perhaps they were thrown off by the word, argue. I do not have a fight with God. But it is appropriate to argue whether I have a viable view of who God actually is. Sometimes it is a struggle to get a good sense of how does God work.
Having faith in God is not simple. Our world still has too much violence, too much greed, too much of what normally we might call sin to maintain a simple, child-like faith in God. I am confident God has to struggle with sin, too. When I sin, it also becomes God’s sin. Of course, God doesn’t sin, but does have to deal with me when I have responded poorly to God’s desire. If God loves, then God is stuck with me and sin.
If I were never to doubt my way of seeing God, the world and myself, I am afraid finally I might wind up with what Jones calls a “tired and worn-out faith.” Doubt means I continue to be engaged with the process of my faith being formed. Faith is a process. It is always a verb (in spite of the word in English being a noun). Faith is never static; it has to be dynamic.
And the dynamic of faith means doubt will inevitably be part of faith.
I know this is true when I reflect on myself and what I know. I feel pretty secure in some of the things I know. I know I love my kids and can’t image anything changing that love. I know I love my kids, but I also know I have to switch to language of faith when I talk about not being able to control how they think or what they do. I have faith they will do things in the right way. I have faith that they will be good parents to their own kids. In this sense faith is different than knowledge.
When it comes to God, I realize that faith is more primary than knowledge. Of course, I can say “I know God.” At one level, I do think I know God. But it is certainly a different order of knowledge than when I say “I know that my car is red” or some such sentence. Anyone who is not color blind knows that car is indeed red. When it comes to God, I acknowledge faith is primary. I have faith in God. I have faith that God loves me and loves you. I cannot prove that God exists or that God loves us. I can’t show you God like I can show a red car.
In saying that faith is primary, I realize I open the door to doubt. When I say I have faith in God, I also know that there is some element of doubt. When I was early in my faith journey, doubt often felt threatening. I tended to see doubt as the opposite of faith. That set up an unfortunate either/or. Through the help of some books I read and some wise people who came into my life, I realized doubt is not opposed to faith. I accepted that doubt actually played a role in my faith development. In fact, I realized faith belonged along with doubt in a both/and relationship. I now see doubt to be a part of faith.
In this I find a colleague in my friend Alan Jones. In his book, Soul Making, Jones assures us, “Doubt is part of the arsenal of faith. It keeps it fresh and honest. In our daring to argue and in our struggle to understand, the blood begins to flow through a tired and worn-out faith.” I am reassured when Jones joins me in seeing doubt as part of faith---part of the arsenal of faith as he puts it. And I like how he develops that a bit.
Doubt keeps faith fresh and honest. I resonate with this. Recently, I have been doing quite a bit of reading and thinking about the nature and role of evolution in understanding our world. The bulk of the scientific community affirms that evolution is the way to understand the formation of our universe over some 13+ billion years. While I have no way of knowing for sure, I am willing to take their perspective on faith. Again, I can’t prove it, but I have faith in their knowledge. What I also can do is be open to how evolution necessarily affects the way I understand God.
Dealing with the evolution of our world means I need to have a view of God that works in the way that fits an evolving world. As I learn this, I begin to doubt the more child-like view of God that characterized my early faith. This is how doubt is keeping my faith honest. And for sure, this reading in evolution has freshened my faith. If I am honest, I have to let go of inadequate views of God. But the good news is that love is at the heart of this evolving world, according to Ilia Delio, a Franciscan sister, scientist and theologian, whom I have been reading. Her way of looking at the world and God helps me to have a fresh, more adequate picture of the Holy One. God still loves me and you, but maybe in a way that differs than how I used to think.
I appreciate that Alan Jones affirms that some of the faith journey entails arguing and struggling. This is a relief for me. It counters the feeling I received from people in my early faith journey. Some of these folks implied that arguing was not appropriate in the journey of faith. Perhaps they were thrown off by the word, argue. I do not have a fight with God. But it is appropriate to argue whether I have a viable view of who God actually is. Sometimes it is a struggle to get a good sense of how does God work.
Having faith in God is not simple. Our world still has too much violence, too much greed, too much of what normally we might call sin to maintain a simple, child-like faith in God. I am confident God has to struggle with sin, too. When I sin, it also becomes God’s sin. Of course, God doesn’t sin, but does have to deal with me when I have responded poorly to God’s desire. If God loves, then God is stuck with me and sin.
If I were never to doubt my way of seeing God, the world and myself, I am afraid finally I might wind up with what Jones calls a “tired and worn-out faith.” Doubt means I continue to be engaged with the process of my faith being formed. Faith is a process. It is always a verb (in spite of the word in English being a noun). Faith is never static; it has to be dynamic.
And the dynamic of faith means doubt will inevitably be part of faith.
Comments
Post a Comment