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Correcting Mistakes

Discipline is at the heart of the spiritual journey.  This sounds like a throwaway line, but it is true.  People who desire to be spiritual, typically have to find and practice some kind of discipline.  Discipline is the means by which we practice the journey.  To be spiritual is not some trip with spiritual “highs” coming day after day.  No sane person should expect this to be the case.
   
Sane people know that good things do come our way.  But it is not like a daily trip to the ice cream store.  Some days there is ice cream.  And some days it is vegetables only!  So it is with the spiritual journey.  Some days it seems really easy to have a sense of God’s presence.  Other days, God seemingly does not show up.  Sometimes we have done nothing to welcome this visiting presence.  We become too busy or too distracted.  To keep on the journey requires some form of spiritual discipline.
   
One of the things I regularly try to do is to follow the lectionary of the Benedictine monks and nuns.  I am not especially committed to their way, but it is a disciplined way of reading and reflecting.  It is like making a commitment to run some each day in order to stay in shape.  Talking about it is not sufficient.  The only real question is whether I did it!  Some days the answer is a simply, no I did not.
   
I would like to lump together some issues under the concept of “mistake.”  Some days the mistake is simply not doing the discipline.  I might say I want to, but that is actually a mistake---a mistaken statement.  I really don’t want to.  Sometimes when I try to do a discipline, I make mistakes.  I don’t do it right; I don’t do it in a way that actually helps me on the spiritual journey.  This is the kind of mistake about which I read in St. Benedict’s Rule. 
   
The sixth century founder of the Benedictines was an Italian lay Christian, Benedict of Nursia.  To help his followers, he wrote a guide book he called, The Rule.  Benedictines around the world still read this Rule---typically working their way through the relatively short piece three times a year.  I also try to use this in my discipline.  Sometimes the material seems out of date, but I try to adapt it to my own life and needs.
   
It is divided into chapters.  Recently, I read Chapter 45, which is called, “Those who make mistakes in the oratory.”  The oratory is simply the place where the monks would go to pray.  They might do it individually or as a group.  As a Quaker, my oratory might be any place---my chair, my study or underneath a tree.  When I am with other Quakers, it might be the meetinghouse.  I admit, I never thought about making mistakes, but when I did think about it, I realized I have. 
   
Essentially, St. Benedict says when we make a mistake, we should humble ourselves and make a satisfaction.  Interestingly, Benedict is particularly talking about mistakes we make by our carelessness.  That made me realize some mistakes come by way of my carelessness.  Other mistakes may happen accidently.  I did not intend to make a mistake, but I did.  Right now I want to consider the mistakes I make because of my carelessness.
   
I am confident I make careless mistakes in my discipline on the spiritual journey.  Probably the most frequent careless mistakes come because I simply am not paying attention.  It is like driving down the interstate and being rather mindless.  Spiritually this is like going through the motions.  I pretend I am doing something, but it really amounts to nothing.  In a sense this is a mistake, because I did intend to do something. 
   
Benedict counsels me to humble myself.  This is very good advice.  Fortunately, he does not want us to beat ourselves up about mistakes.  But we also cannot ignore them.  I think he offers good counsel.  It probably never hurts to be reminded to be humble.  That is not the same thing as humiliation.  Don’t beat yourself up.  But humble yourself and make some kind of satisfaction.  In other words, you can’t simply say, “I’m sorry,” and then move on. 
   
To make satisfaction should be a positive move.  It might be a re-do, if that is possible and makes sense.  Often doing something again after a mistake does not make sense.  In that case we move on.  But we move on in a way that gives ourselves a better chance of growing from the mistake.  If my mistake somehow hurt someone else, then I make amends if I can.  Sometimes I am the only person affected by my mistake.  In that case I move ahead and become more intentional about avoiding the carelessness or mindlessness that easily causes mistakes.
   
The spiritual journey is not a trip to perfection.  The last thing God wants is some spiritual hotshot perfectionist!  Humility is the preferred posture of the spiritual pilgrim.  Jesus is a good model.  Humble people know they can make mistakes and they are always prepared to make amends for the mistake.  The spiritual journey is a long one; mistakes are probably inevitable.  But they can be corrected.
   
That’s the good news.  

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