It is probably true that every sane person in the world has thought about love. There likely has been more written about love than almost any other topic. However, this does not mean it is a worn-out topic or of any lesser value. It is perhaps the most important word in the world. Everyone I know has a sense of what loves means, wants some of it and hopes to live forever with love.
At one level, we can rightly ask whether any more words about love need to be written---including these words! But at another level because love is so important, we need to keep thinking about it and cultivating more of it in our world. This happens to be my approach. I think many of our problems in the world can be traced back to lack of love or a warped sense of what love is.
I feel lucky to be able to teach what I teach, because often the texts that I read talk about love. There certainly are a variety of ways to discuss love. One way that most people would agree with, see love as an emotion. I agree that it is easy to “feel” love and to know that being loved “feels” good. Some reading in the text I use for Contemplative Spirituality takes the idea of love as an emotion and develops it in ways that I find helpful. I would like to share a few words from Roger Walsh’s book, Essential Spirituality, and develop them.
When I first read Walsh’s book, I remember being arrested when I read the following sentence. Walsh says, “Our emotions rule our lives.” I recall thinking at that time, “not my life.” I would have said that emotions do not rule my life. I certainly am capable of emotions, but I never saw myself as an “emotional person.” Of course, I had some misperceptions and some lack of understanding, exposing room for growth. I have tried to grow more into understanding emotions and myself as an emotional person. This is why Walsh has been so helpful.
I’m still not sure I agree with him when he says emotions rule our lives, but I am willing to admit I may not fully know how to read and understand him. So I need to read on. Walsh continues, “The feelings we repeatedly invite into our minds eventually seduce and dominate our minds.” It is interesting he uses the word, “feelings,” in this quotation. It raises the interesting question about the relationship between emotions and feelings. Clearly, they are related ideas, but some question whether they are synonyms. For me at least, emotions are partly feelings, but are more complex.
Perhaps Walsh senses the same thing. In the next sentence, which I quote, he switches back to the word, “emotions.” Walsh notes, “Then, these emotions color our perceptions, mold our motives, and direct our lives.” What I think Walsh is doing is showing how feelings get processed by our brain. Feelings get processed into particular kinds of emotions. I now say things like, “I feel love.” “I feel joy.” “I feel disgust.” Once we have labeled an emotion, then it does color our perception, mold our motives, and can even direct our lives.
For example, if I conclude I have been wronged by someone, I might say, “I hate him.” This emotion does color my perception---and determine how I see that other person. That emotion molds my motive. I might look for ways to get even---revenge driven by emotion. Clearly, this dynamic is not going to create good things in the world.
Brilliantly, Walsh says, “What we feel within ourselves we find reflected in our world.” He illustrates this. “If we feel angry, we look out on a hostile world; if fearful, we find threats everywhere.” I find this to be true. And it accounts for so much of the bad stuff happening. I do think much of the trouble in our world is due to lack of love. The lives of so many of us are being driven by some other emotion besides love.
Walsh would agree. Finally, he says, “But when love fills our minds, we see a world that yearns to love and be loved.” That is a world I dearly want to see. And I am sure this is what God desires. I am sure God wants every person who claims somehow to be religious or spiritual to have minds filled with love. The hard question, obviously, is how do we do it? How do I do it for myself? And how do I help others do it?
I am sure there are many answers. Let me suggest a key answer is community. It is difficult by myself to have a mind filled with love. I will need help. I will need help to get better, not be bitter. I need help to grow more fully into love. I need help to grow my love in the direction of compassion. Without compassion, I fear our world is doomed.
With love I am capable of compassion. With compassion I can become a peacemaker. I recognize most of us will need some emotional development to become instruments of grace, compassion and peace. God expects it of us. And the world needs it of us.
At one level, we can rightly ask whether any more words about love need to be written---including these words! But at another level because love is so important, we need to keep thinking about it and cultivating more of it in our world. This happens to be my approach. I think many of our problems in the world can be traced back to lack of love or a warped sense of what love is.
I feel lucky to be able to teach what I teach, because often the texts that I read talk about love. There certainly are a variety of ways to discuss love. One way that most people would agree with, see love as an emotion. I agree that it is easy to “feel” love and to know that being loved “feels” good. Some reading in the text I use for Contemplative Spirituality takes the idea of love as an emotion and develops it in ways that I find helpful. I would like to share a few words from Roger Walsh’s book, Essential Spirituality, and develop them.
When I first read Walsh’s book, I remember being arrested when I read the following sentence. Walsh says, “Our emotions rule our lives.” I recall thinking at that time, “not my life.” I would have said that emotions do not rule my life. I certainly am capable of emotions, but I never saw myself as an “emotional person.” Of course, I had some misperceptions and some lack of understanding, exposing room for growth. I have tried to grow more into understanding emotions and myself as an emotional person. This is why Walsh has been so helpful.
I’m still not sure I agree with him when he says emotions rule our lives, but I am willing to admit I may not fully know how to read and understand him. So I need to read on. Walsh continues, “The feelings we repeatedly invite into our minds eventually seduce and dominate our minds.” It is interesting he uses the word, “feelings,” in this quotation. It raises the interesting question about the relationship between emotions and feelings. Clearly, they are related ideas, but some question whether they are synonyms. For me at least, emotions are partly feelings, but are more complex.
Perhaps Walsh senses the same thing. In the next sentence, which I quote, he switches back to the word, “emotions.” Walsh notes, “Then, these emotions color our perceptions, mold our motives, and direct our lives.” What I think Walsh is doing is showing how feelings get processed by our brain. Feelings get processed into particular kinds of emotions. I now say things like, “I feel love.” “I feel joy.” “I feel disgust.” Once we have labeled an emotion, then it does color our perception, mold our motives, and can even direct our lives.
For example, if I conclude I have been wronged by someone, I might say, “I hate him.” This emotion does color my perception---and determine how I see that other person. That emotion molds my motive. I might look for ways to get even---revenge driven by emotion. Clearly, this dynamic is not going to create good things in the world.
Brilliantly, Walsh says, “What we feel within ourselves we find reflected in our world.” He illustrates this. “If we feel angry, we look out on a hostile world; if fearful, we find threats everywhere.” I find this to be true. And it accounts for so much of the bad stuff happening. I do think much of the trouble in our world is due to lack of love. The lives of so many of us are being driven by some other emotion besides love.
Walsh would agree. Finally, he says, “But when love fills our minds, we see a world that yearns to love and be loved.” That is a world I dearly want to see. And I am sure this is what God desires. I am sure God wants every person who claims somehow to be religious or spiritual to have minds filled with love. The hard question, obviously, is how do we do it? How do I do it for myself? And how do I help others do it?
I am sure there are many answers. Let me suggest a key answer is community. It is difficult by myself to have a mind filled with love. I will need help. I will need help to get better, not be bitter. I need help to grow more fully into love. I need help to grow my love in the direction of compassion. Without compassion, I fear our world is doomed.
With love I am capable of compassion. With compassion I can become a peacemaker. I recognize most of us will need some emotional development to become instruments of grace, compassion and peace. God expects it of us. And the world needs it of us.
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