Recently I have had the occasion to return to a book I read a few years ago. Big Questions, Worthy Dreams was written by Sharon Daloz Parks, first published in 2000 and now available in an expanded recent version. I have been following Parks’ writings for quite a long time. In fact I tried to get her to join my faculty once upon a time. Her book deals with how faith develops among younger people, primarily high school and college-aged students. Her subtitle tells it all: Mentoring Young Adults in Their Search for Meaning, Purpose, and Faith. Since this is the age group with which I have spent so much of my time, I wanted to know what her research revealed.
In one of her chapters she deals with the image (or metaphor) of home. Rightly, she notes that image is not used to the extent its parallel image is used, namely, journey. If you read the spiritual literature of the church or other religious traditions, frequently you find the image of journey. Easily, we talk about our faith journey. Sometimes it is described from when we first came to faith until now. Usually, the journey has its ups and downs. It is not a straight-line trip from faith to union with God.
I am very aware of how this image of journey has played a key role in my own life. I also realize how many times the Quaker meetings or churches of which I was a part would ask someone who wanted to join our ranks to share their faith journey. Quakers always found this to be more revealing and significant that asking about theological beliefs. Their story of journey was always interesting.
But I have never heard any Quaker gang ask someone to describe their sense of spiritual home or how they have homesteaded in their faith. After reading Parks, I see this as an oversight. Let’s look at some of her ideas to see how rich the image of home is. Early in that chapter Parks makes a bold claim. She says, “It has been said that home is the most powerful word in the English language.” It is a bold statement, but probably true for many of us.
Parks develops her analysis. She says home “is where we start from. To be at home is to have a place in the scheme of life---a place where we are comfortable; know that we belong; can be who we are; and can honor, protect, and create what we truly love.” As I ponder Parks’ words, I realize I have a fairly strong sense of home. I grew up on an Indiana farm, so that life was quite stable. When you milk dairy cows twice daily, routine is a given. I grew up on the farm that had been my grandfather’s land, so a history to the place.
Parks is correct. Home is where we start from. My first memories are of that place. And the place came with people---parents, grandpa, neighbors and later a brother and sister. A couple years ago on a trip to Indiana, I drove to my old hometown to see the farm. It has been decades since I lived there. There was enough familiarity, I recognized the place. But more significantly, so much had changed. It is difficult to me to know how much change was due to the place and how much of the change was due to me. The house was smaller than I recall.
What this tells me is even the image of home, which suggests stability, dependability, etc., is a static image. This a good place to recall what Parks says about home. She tells us home is to have a place in the scheme of life. Whatever the old “home place” turns out to be, it provided a scheme of life for my nurture and development. Thinking about home is a place of comfort---to this very day. Of course, not every day at home growing up as a kid was idyllic. It was a real home---not some make-believe place. The image of home is not a stain free, no troubles kind of place. My home was real and sometimes, I’m sure, there was almost too much reality!
The next point Parks makes is my favorite. Home is a place where we know we belong. I never had any question but what it was “my” home. It was where I belonged. Parks adds to this when she acknowledges home is the place where we can be who we are. This is very important. I can think of many other places where I lived where it was not real. I think of graduate school where I think I spent too much time trying to be someone I was really not. I don’t know that I really belonged. Many of the role models didn’t fit who I would become.
As I think back, I was going through my own faith development. I had not read Parks yet. She would have been helpful. What I probably did realize, however, was the incredibly rich resource my image of home was. By graduate school I knew I would never go back. But I also knew that image would always be mine. It was part of the core of who I was and would become.
I don’t think very much any more about that original home. But I know it is with me---deep inside my soul. I am grateful for it. And for all the journeying yet to do, I will always take home with me.
In one of her chapters she deals with the image (or metaphor) of home. Rightly, she notes that image is not used to the extent its parallel image is used, namely, journey. If you read the spiritual literature of the church or other religious traditions, frequently you find the image of journey. Easily, we talk about our faith journey. Sometimes it is described from when we first came to faith until now. Usually, the journey has its ups and downs. It is not a straight-line trip from faith to union with God.
I am very aware of how this image of journey has played a key role in my own life. I also realize how many times the Quaker meetings or churches of which I was a part would ask someone who wanted to join our ranks to share their faith journey. Quakers always found this to be more revealing and significant that asking about theological beliefs. Their story of journey was always interesting.
But I have never heard any Quaker gang ask someone to describe their sense of spiritual home or how they have homesteaded in their faith. After reading Parks, I see this as an oversight. Let’s look at some of her ideas to see how rich the image of home is. Early in that chapter Parks makes a bold claim. She says, “It has been said that home is the most powerful word in the English language.” It is a bold statement, but probably true for many of us.
Parks develops her analysis. She says home “is where we start from. To be at home is to have a place in the scheme of life---a place where we are comfortable; know that we belong; can be who we are; and can honor, protect, and create what we truly love.” As I ponder Parks’ words, I realize I have a fairly strong sense of home. I grew up on an Indiana farm, so that life was quite stable. When you milk dairy cows twice daily, routine is a given. I grew up on the farm that had been my grandfather’s land, so a history to the place.
Parks is correct. Home is where we start from. My first memories are of that place. And the place came with people---parents, grandpa, neighbors and later a brother and sister. A couple years ago on a trip to Indiana, I drove to my old hometown to see the farm. It has been decades since I lived there. There was enough familiarity, I recognized the place. But more significantly, so much had changed. It is difficult to me to know how much change was due to the place and how much of the change was due to me. The house was smaller than I recall.
What this tells me is even the image of home, which suggests stability, dependability, etc., is a static image. This a good place to recall what Parks says about home. She tells us home is to have a place in the scheme of life. Whatever the old “home place” turns out to be, it provided a scheme of life for my nurture and development. Thinking about home is a place of comfort---to this very day. Of course, not every day at home growing up as a kid was idyllic. It was a real home---not some make-believe place. The image of home is not a stain free, no troubles kind of place. My home was real and sometimes, I’m sure, there was almost too much reality!
The next point Parks makes is my favorite. Home is a place where we know we belong. I never had any question but what it was “my” home. It was where I belonged. Parks adds to this when she acknowledges home is the place where we can be who we are. This is very important. I can think of many other places where I lived where it was not real. I think of graduate school where I think I spent too much time trying to be someone I was really not. I don’t know that I really belonged. Many of the role models didn’t fit who I would become.
As I think back, I was going through my own faith development. I had not read Parks yet. She would have been helpful. What I probably did realize, however, was the incredibly rich resource my image of home was. By graduate school I knew I would never go back. But I also knew that image would always be mine. It was part of the core of who I was and would become.
I don’t think very much any more about that original home. But I know it is with me---deep inside my soul. I am grateful for it. And for all the journeying yet to do, I will always take home with me.
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