Father William O’Malley is an 86-year old Jesuit who is now retired. I don’t know him and have never heard of him. But I was captivated by the title in a periodical I routinely read. The title proclaimed, “An 86-year-old priest’s 10 resolutions for the New Year.” I am not 86; I am not a Jesuit (not even a Catholic, except for some Catholic influences on my life); and I am not retired. But I was intrigued by what this old guy had resolved.
As I read the article, it was obvious Fr O’Malley is well-educated, as all Jesuits are. He had taught school and been a priest. He is familiar with some great literature and seems to have pithy quotations at hand. Even though I don’t know him, I think he must have been a good teacher and, hopefully, a fun guy. But when one is 86, you know the clock is ticking on this life. So what does a person resolve to do when retired? His ten resolutions almost seemed like prayers or, at least, petitions. Let’s look at the first five.
The first one is straightforward. “Help me not merely to survive but to thrive with dignity, verve and joy.” I resonate with the idea of thriving. Maybe none of us can thrive like the times we were younger, but I also wonder if the wisdom we have gained over the years does not affect the way and effectiveness of our thriving. I hope so.
His second resolution relates to the first one---at least as it links to the idea of thriving. O’Malley petitions, “Make me contagious with all the aliveness I have left in me.” I love the idea of being contagious. Of course, we normally reserve that word for things related to illness. All of us know the ways schools and other contexts are breeding grounds for contagious diseases. Our kids were always sitting ducks for the next bug rotating throughout the school. But contagion can become a metaphor for the way people can “catch the Spirit.” In fact, I wonder if that is not a primary role for churches? Are they not to be incubators of the Spirit? We should be as susceptible to catching the Sprit as we are catching colds.
Fr O’Malley’s resolution is realistic. He asks that he be contagious with as much aliveness as he has left in him. It is good when older folks get rid of illusions. We are not 16 years old anymore! But there is aliveness within each of us. We have the choice to become contagious rather than complainers!
Speaking of being realistic, I very much like the focus of O’Malley’s third resolution. It is a humble request. He pleads, “Encourage me to be more readily forgiving, not just of others but myself.” Forgiveness is a wonderful way of clearing the air and becoming clean with life. One cannot live 86 years and not be harmed, wounded, wronged, etc. Even priests have this done unto them. So O’Malley’s request makes perfect sense. Carrying a grudge or holding on to a past hurt is like carrying around a big weight. Why not get rid of us and go through the rest of your life with a lot less baggage. Forgiveness is the process and freedom is the result.
O’Malley’s fourth resolution resonates with me and could well be one of my resolutions. He asks, “Firm up my patience with imperfection now that it’s more difficult to avoid.” I have to laugh at this one. Part of my own life made more sense when I realized I was a perfectionist. Of course most of us perfectionists would not admit it; that would sound like a fault! I realized perfectionism is an impossible bind into which we put ourselves. Imperfection is the norm. I realize some of us are less imperfect than others.
But O’Malley is probably correct. As we age, we become more imperfect. Our bodies won’t do things they used to do. And so it goes. We do well to become more patient and to ask that others also become more patient with us. This is probably the one resolution all younger, talented and skilled folks need to make. When you are good, it is harder to be patient with yourself and others. At 86 you realize this. My prayer is to “get it” sooner than 86!
The last resolution we can look at this time is insightful. He begs, “Make me prudent and patient in yielding lest I become an amiable pushover.” I am fascinated with the language of “yielding.” To yield is not the same thing as giving up. If we think about driving, we yield to others, but we don’t have to stop. Maybe the same thing is true in the spiritual life? Yielding to God is a good thing---it may be the doorway to obedience. To yield takes care of the arrogance we may be tempted to have and it also asks us to hand over any low self-esteem that we may harbor.
These resolutions are good steps to take at any age. But at 86 they make perfect sense. They are a way of getting life in order. And that is one of the things I understand the spiritual journey to do for us: it orders our lives. Resolutions are not requirements. Instead they are expressions of our will---our will for ourselves and ourselves in tandem with the others in our life. To be resolved is to say what we want and to begin acting in a way that makes us better people---with whatever life is left.
I appreciate Fr O’Malley’s wisdom. Maybe I can get with it before the sun sets tomorrow. Why wait?
As I read the article, it was obvious Fr O’Malley is well-educated, as all Jesuits are. He had taught school and been a priest. He is familiar with some great literature and seems to have pithy quotations at hand. Even though I don’t know him, I think he must have been a good teacher and, hopefully, a fun guy. But when one is 86, you know the clock is ticking on this life. So what does a person resolve to do when retired? His ten resolutions almost seemed like prayers or, at least, petitions. Let’s look at the first five.
The first one is straightforward. “Help me not merely to survive but to thrive with dignity, verve and joy.” I resonate with the idea of thriving. Maybe none of us can thrive like the times we were younger, but I also wonder if the wisdom we have gained over the years does not affect the way and effectiveness of our thriving. I hope so.
His second resolution relates to the first one---at least as it links to the idea of thriving. O’Malley petitions, “Make me contagious with all the aliveness I have left in me.” I love the idea of being contagious. Of course, we normally reserve that word for things related to illness. All of us know the ways schools and other contexts are breeding grounds for contagious diseases. Our kids were always sitting ducks for the next bug rotating throughout the school. But contagion can become a metaphor for the way people can “catch the Spirit.” In fact, I wonder if that is not a primary role for churches? Are they not to be incubators of the Spirit? We should be as susceptible to catching the Sprit as we are catching colds.
Fr O’Malley’s resolution is realistic. He asks that he be contagious with as much aliveness as he has left in him. It is good when older folks get rid of illusions. We are not 16 years old anymore! But there is aliveness within each of us. We have the choice to become contagious rather than complainers!
Speaking of being realistic, I very much like the focus of O’Malley’s third resolution. It is a humble request. He pleads, “Encourage me to be more readily forgiving, not just of others but myself.” Forgiveness is a wonderful way of clearing the air and becoming clean with life. One cannot live 86 years and not be harmed, wounded, wronged, etc. Even priests have this done unto them. So O’Malley’s request makes perfect sense. Carrying a grudge or holding on to a past hurt is like carrying around a big weight. Why not get rid of us and go through the rest of your life with a lot less baggage. Forgiveness is the process and freedom is the result.
O’Malley’s fourth resolution resonates with me and could well be one of my resolutions. He asks, “Firm up my patience with imperfection now that it’s more difficult to avoid.” I have to laugh at this one. Part of my own life made more sense when I realized I was a perfectionist. Of course most of us perfectionists would not admit it; that would sound like a fault! I realized perfectionism is an impossible bind into which we put ourselves. Imperfection is the norm. I realize some of us are less imperfect than others.
But O’Malley is probably correct. As we age, we become more imperfect. Our bodies won’t do things they used to do. And so it goes. We do well to become more patient and to ask that others also become more patient with us. This is probably the one resolution all younger, talented and skilled folks need to make. When you are good, it is harder to be patient with yourself and others. At 86 you realize this. My prayer is to “get it” sooner than 86!
The last resolution we can look at this time is insightful. He begs, “Make me prudent and patient in yielding lest I become an amiable pushover.” I am fascinated with the language of “yielding.” To yield is not the same thing as giving up. If we think about driving, we yield to others, but we don’t have to stop. Maybe the same thing is true in the spiritual life? Yielding to God is a good thing---it may be the doorway to obedience. To yield takes care of the arrogance we may be tempted to have and it also asks us to hand over any low self-esteem that we may harbor.
These resolutions are good steps to take at any age. But at 86 they make perfect sense. They are a way of getting life in order. And that is one of the things I understand the spiritual journey to do for us: it orders our lives. Resolutions are not requirements. Instead they are expressions of our will---our will for ourselves and ourselves in tandem with the others in our life. To be resolved is to say what we want and to begin acting in a way that makes us better people---with whatever life is left.
I appreciate Fr O’Malley’s wisdom. Maybe I can get with it before the sun sets tomorrow. Why wait?
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