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Four Kinds of Happiness

David Brooks is up to it again.  Regular readers of my inspirational reflections know I like the kinds of things Brooks offers.  Brooks is the kind of person with whom I would like to hang out with and talk about things.  I am sure his experience is quite different than mine, but we have come to focus on similar ideas.  In my language Brooks has been focused on the question, what’s the point of life?
   
In a recent editorial reflection entitled, “When Life Asks for Everything,” Brooks offers two kinds of models of human development.  Space does not allow me to pursue both, so I choose the one I am drawn to and the one Brooks prefers.  He calls this model the “Four Kinds of Happiness.”  When I read what Brooks proposed, it did not seem novel.  In fact, I think I have spent most of my adult life reading about and trying to choose this particular model of my human development.  I am a work in progress.  Few, if any people, on this path can feel like they have it made.  As my friend so often says, “progress, not perfection.”  I hope I am making progress.
   
Brooks succinctly lays out the developmental model through its four stages.  Let’s look at each one individually.  He begins by noting, “The lowest kind of happiness is material pleasure, having nice food and clothing and a nice house.”  I am sure this makes perfect sense for most of us.  Of course, the level of material pleasure people want varies.  Americans probably expect more than people from less well-off countries.  Surely, there is a minimal level.  Throughout my life I have tried to have a lower level of desire for material pleasure.  I don’t need a big house, fancy car, etc.  This box I can check off…I have material pleasure.
   
The second kind of happiness is equally clear.  Brooks claims, “Then there is achievement, the pleasure we get from earned and recognized success.”  For many of us this comes by virtue of a career.  Careers are not the only venue for achievement, but it surely is the major one for most of us.  Of course, there are nuances even within career.  For example, when I publish a book, that feels like a real achievement.  Writing books is not a requirement for my job.  I am sure I feel some level of achievement simply in trying to be an effective teacher.  Achievement does bring a certain amount of happiness.
   
Brooks moves on to the next one.  He says, “Third, there is generativity, the pleasure we get from giving back to others.”  For most of us, we have to reach a certain age and station in life before this one kicks in.  Perhaps the most predictable place we are set up for this level of happiness is having kids.  There is no question having kids is an issue of generativity.  I often quip, my two girls are the most creative things I have done in life!  Having kids certainly offers the chance to give back to others.  Most of us were cared for and loved by parents, so having our own kids is an opportunity to give back.  It is a joy.
   
And so Brooks wraps us his model of human development.  He observes, “Finally, the highest kind of happiness is moral joy, the glowing satisfaction we get when we have surrendered ourselves to some noble cause or unconditional love.”  When I read this level of human development, I gulp a little bit.  This one reaches pretty high.  This level of happiness is rooted in moral joy.  Part of me laughs, because this is the object of a good deal of my writing.  I am sure this is why I feel connected to Brooks and what he is thinking and writing. 
   
I really like his description of this level of development.  He says we gain a “glowing satisfaction” from operating at this level.  This comes from serving a higher purpose or loving unconditional.  I can resonate with serving a higher purpose.  I am trying to do this---albeit imperfectly.  Unconditional love I get as an idea.  But it is more than an idea; it is a life being lived out.  I think I come close with my kids.  With other people, I am far less sure.  There probably is still too much ego---too much self---in me that needs to be worked with and lessened.  A high purpose and calling to love will continue this soul work.
   
In a summary kind of fashion, Brooks describes how this model of human development works.  He says, “The Four Kinds of Happiness moves from the self-transcendence individual to the relational and finally to the transcendent and collective.”  This movement has a goal, to be sure.  Again, Brooks is quite clear and helpful as he articulates the goal: “…the pinnacle of human existence is in quieting and transcending the self…”

He offers me hope.  I can continue to quiet myself and to transcend myself.  By now you doubtlessly are realizing what I realize.  This model of human development is not about myself!  Ironically, my deepest happiness in life comes by getting over myself and making others and the world better.  No wonder this appeals to all of us on a spiritual quest.  I doubt that this model makes sense to someone who is not spiritual.  A person or a culture who is all about “me” will dismiss this in a heartbeat. 

I am content with my path, even though I know it ultimately is not about me.  I am confident that is the only way I’ll be happy.  How ironic!  

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