Skip to main content

Temptation: All Too Real

From time to time, I find myself returning to Thomas Merton, famous Catholic monk of last century.  In some ways I have no idea why he appeals to me so much.  At most levels, we have very little in common.  He grew up in very global ways; I was about as provincial as it gets.  He had a knack for taking risks; in most ways I think I am fairly risk-averse.  He went from communism to atheism to Catholicism to a strict monastic calling.  I have been a Quaker all my life.  And yet, he speaks deeply to me.

Part of Merton’s appeal to me is his willingness to probe his interiority, cull the superficial from the depth, and be open to growth in the Spirit…wherever that took him.  Ironically, it took this urbane, worldly guy to a strict monastery in the boonies of Kentucky.  Part of him always was looking for an escape to “better things.”  He struggled with himself and that struggle was simultaneously a struggle with God.  And he did this in print.  So fortunately, that survives after his untimely accidental death in 1968.

I like reading his journals.  In a journal entry from January 10, 1960 Merton talks about temptation.  It is well to remember that he had been in those Kentucky boondocks since 1941.  He has become famous.  He has been looking for a way out for a decade or so.  But he was never allowed to leave… to his credit he did not.  That inspires me.

But he did deal with temptation.  Let’s listen to his words.  “The reality of temptation in monastic life---and in my life!”  I smile at that.  It is easy for me to think, “Ah, the monastery…there would never be temptations there…it would be much easier to be spiritual.”  Baloney, he would say!

And then, here is Merton at his best.  “It is clear that I have been severely tempted for a long time and have not avoided sin---the obscure, easily justified sins of self---will, pride, disobedience, infidelity to duty and obligation, lack of faith.”  “Wow,” I think.  “That really nails me, too!”

Those are not sins like murder and the other biggies.  I am safe on those.  But I must also admit, like Merton, that I am severely tempted and have not avoided sin.  Now since I think I am entirely normal, I usually do not think about being “severely tempted.”  More likely, I would say, “Oh yeah, from time to time I am tempted…a little bit, anyway.”  The implication is, “Oh, it was nothing and I easily avoided it.”  Then I am free to proceed in my daily sainthood!  But no, Merton makes it hard to go this route.

I know exactly what he means by those “sins of self.”  They are the will.  I can pray, “thy will be done.”  But more often, if I am honest, it is “my will be done.”  And pride…I know that one.  And I also know others are tempted by the exact opposite sin: seeing themselves as worthless.  As a child of God, no one is worthless.

Disobedience and infidelity to duty are two sins I am quite good at doing.  Sometimes, we can be so good at our sins, they never look like sin!  If I am clever (and often I am), my disobedience looks perfectly ok.  I know I can fool people; I should never presume I have fooled God.

Merton helps me see that I will be tempted and I will sin.  That seems to be a given.  But he hung in there.  He stayed in the monastery; he stayed in the process; he stayed in the game of life till the end.  That is what I want to do.

“Lead us not into temptation.”  But I probably will be.  And no doubt, sin I will.  And when that happens, may God be gracious and I be sorry.  And then, get on with life…a saintly life which, for sure, will go through temptation and sin.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

I-Thou Relationships

Those of us who have read theology or, perhaps, those who are people of faith and are old enough might well recognize this title as a reminder of the late Jewish philosopher and theologian, Martin Buber.   I remember reading Buber’s book, I and Thou , when I was in college in the 1960s.   It was already a famous book by then.   I am not sure I fully understood it, but that would not be the last time I read it.   It has been a while since I looked at the book.             Buber came up in a conversation with a friend who asked if I had seen the recent article by David Brooks?   I had not seen it, but when I was told about it, I knew I would quickly locate and read that piece.   I very much like what Brooks decides to write about and what he contributes to societal conversation.   I wish more people read him and took him seriously.             Brooks’ article focused on the 2016 contentious election.   He provocatively suggests, “Read Buber, Not the Polls!”   I think Brooks puts

Spiritual Commitment

I was reading along in a very nice little book and hit these lines about commitment.   The author, Mitch Albom, uses the voice of one of the main characters of his nonfiction book about faith to reflect on commitment.   The voice belongs to Albom’s old rabbi of the Jewish synagogue where he went until his college days.   The old rabbi, Albert Lewis, says “the word ‘commitment’ has lost its meaning.”    The rabbi continues in a way that surely would have many people saying, “Amen!”   About commitment he says, “I’m old enough when it used to be a positive.   A committed person was someone to be admired.   He was loyal and steady.   Now a commitment is something you avoid.   You don’t want to tie yourself down.”   I also think I am old enough to know that commitment was usually a positive word.   I can think of a range of situations in which commitment would have been seen to be positive.   For example, growing up was full of sports for me.   Commitment would have been presupposed t

Inward Journey and Outward Pilgrimage

There are so many different ways to think about the spiritual life.   And of course, in our country there are so many different variations of religious experiences.   There are liberals and conservatives.   There are fundamentalists and Pentecostals.   Besides the dizzying variety of Christian traditions, there are many different non-Christian traditions.   There are the major traditions, such as Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, and so on.   There are the slightly more obscure traditions, such as Sikhism, Jainism, etc.   And then there are more fringe groups and, even, pseudo-religions.   There are defining doctrines and religious practices.   Some of these are specific to a particular tradition or a few traditions, such as the koan , which is used in Zen Buddhism for example.   Other defining doctrines or practices are common across the religious board.   Something like meditation would be a good example.   Christians meditate; Buddhists meditate.   And other groups practice this spiri