There are some old friends to whom I like to return from
time to time. Some of my old friends are
books. Some of these books were written
centuries ago, so obviously I personally know the author. One such book is the Confessions by Augustine---or
St. Augustine as he rightly is called.
He wrote this magnificent theological autobiography in the late fourth
century. People of faith have been
reading it for more than a thousand years.
Other friends are living people. One such friend is Alan Jones. I have many of Jones’ books, but the one that
still speaks most powerfully to me is his book, Soul Making. Alan was a
seminary professor when I first met him.
Although born in England, he had already come to this country and was
teaching at the Episcopal seminary in New York when we had initial
contact. From there he went to San
Francisco where he became Dean of the Cathedral in that city by the bay.
I loved the title of soul making and, I’m sure, that is what
initially led me to buy it. While it is
a great title, I knew it was more than a title of a book. Soul making is a process by which all of us
are made human. For Jones and me soul
making is inevitably a spiritual process, as well as psychological. Surely many people become human without any
nod toward spirituality, but Jones and I would contend we are not fully human
until we are also spiritual.
I had occasion recently to read again the last chapter of
that book. I’ll share some thoughts from
a paragraph that remind me how significant God and the spiritual is for my
understanding of how souls are made. The
first sentence I share demonstrates both the serious nature of the work of
making souls and shows the touch of humor that I always find when talking to or
reading Jones. He says, “The dominant
lure of life is towards the ‘We’ and we may thank God for our neuroses in that
they are, at least, signs that are cracks and crevices in the egocentric shell
we build around us.” (187)
I like to think that life has a lure. In fact there probably are multiple lures in
our lives. There are lures of family,
jobs, etc. That why we often feel pulled
in different directions. Sometimes we
are in tension between what we want to do and what others want us to do. So when Jones talks about a “dominant” lure,
that makes sense to me. I am not sure
most of us know the dominant lure.
Perhaps the dominant lure is whatever we want it to be. But I would agree with Jones that the
dominate lure is that which comes from God.
Every other lure is secondary, even if it is important.
Jones is correct when he acknowledges the dominant lure of
life is plural---toward the “We,” as he calls it. This simply means that life finally is
communal---it is about community. Life
is not some lonely existence passing from birth to our inevitable death. Authentic life is always life together. This may not make too much sense in our
individualistic, autonomous lives most of us live.
Jones is at his orneriest best when he opines that our
neuroses are signs that real life---the life of the “We”---is trying to break
through. He sees the egoistic self we
build as we go through life actually can be the problem. The ego is “me.” It is my life, my agenda,
my---everything. When the “We” becomes
only a concern for me, then I am in trouble and may not even know it. It is too easy to move from ego to
egocentric---from me to being totally me-centered. If we live this kind of egocentric life, then
we are in some way being crazy---neurotic.
Jones comes in again when he says, “That is why our falling
apart can be a sign of God’s work in us.
It is the beginning of the process of benign disintegration…the ‘We’ is
the real frame of our life. Rightly, he
says, our egocentric life will need to disintegrate---the ego has to cease
being in center or whole of our lives.
He continues, to refuse disintegration “means entering into a terrible
place of lostness, where the ego is all there is. This is hell: the ego is mistaken in the
belief that it is the fount and origin of everything…
This seems so true for me, which is why I share it. I do believe if we stay with our egocentric
agenda, we ultimately will be in a terrible place of lostness. If we are egocentric, there is no real room
for God or anyone else, except that they serve our sorry soul. There is no compassion, no
understanding. Egocentricism works well
when we are strong, healthy and independent.
But when things go south, we find we need and desire others---God and
friends.
The essence of soul work is to recognize this earlier in our
lives and doing the “soul work” to grow into healing, healthy places. We can ask ourselves whether we are living an
egocentric life or are we cultivating a “We” perspective? It does not mean you have to be a failure or
a wimp to be spiritual. But it does mean
you are not god. Even if you see
yourself as god, no one else does.
Soul work means I recognize the God who is and know that I
am a beloved child of God. And I am part
of the beloved community---the “We” of God’s children. And I am glad.
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