Teaching for a long time has many blessings, but one I
really appreciate is a chance to re-read a book that has been significant. Of course, there are many books that have
made a difference in my life. I have
often wondered how I would answer the question that is posed: if I were
stranded on an island and could have only one book, what would I choose?
I am sure I would surprise and disappoint some people when I
confess I know that book would not be the Bible. That does not mean the Bible is not important
to me or that I have it memorized and don’t really need it. I know the Bible has formed me in crucial
ways. As a Christian and Quaker, much of
what I think is rooted in the Bible. But
it would not be my choice.
There are a few books by Quakers I might choose. I would seriously consider the one by Thomas
Kelly, A Testament of Devotion. That is a simple, inspiring book that would
serve me well on the deserted island. I
really like some of Gerald May’s books and would be happy to be “stuck” with
one of them. I like his book, Will and Spirit, and also would be happy
with The Awakened Heart. And then there is my monk-friend, Thomas
Merton.
Merton has been a formative influence on my spiritual life
and thinking. One possible choice would
be his book, Conjectures of a Guilty
Bystander. It was written in the 60s
when I was moving through college and on into graduate school. I have taught a seminar on Merton’s
spirituality and, consequently have re-read quite a few of his books. I just had the opportunity to read again Conjectures.
I am always stunned to have a passage jump out at me that I
know I have read a few times already. It
happened again. On the very first page
of the Preface I latched onto a line that I want to savor. Merton writes that he does not have too many
answers. He continues, “I do have
questions, and, as a matter of fact, I think a man is known better by his
questions than by his answers.” I am
sure if Merton were writing that today, he would use inclusive language. Instead of saying, “a man is known better by
his questions,” Merton would have said, “a person is known better…” It is true for women and men.
Answers are definitive.
They are statements and put periods at the end of the matter. Answers state what is and what should
be. Of course, there is a huge role for
answers. Some things are clear and
complete. Much of science has these
kinds of answers. But there are others
areas of life where the question should be the approach. Questions function differently than answers.
Questions open up.
Questions make room for what might be. There is an obvious link between
questions and quest. Questions put us on
a quest. We quest for direction, for
knowledge, and even wisdom. Questions
engage us and pull us into the activity of listening, probing, and patiently
waiting for something to open up.
Questions put us in a posture of expectation.
As I am pondering the nature of question, I am thinking
primarily of the big questions in life.
Indeed, perhaps the biggest question of any human being is what does it
mean to be human? This becomes
particularized when I ask, what does it mean to be me? This is an identity question: who am I? Clearly, there could be many answers to
this. And we do have answers. I am a guy, a son, a husband, a father, a
friend, a teacher, and the list goes on.
They are all true, but they are not the deepest essence of who I
am. It is at this deepest level that I
want to ask that question, who am I?
For me the Bible helps me formulate an answer. I am persuaded I am created in the image and
likeness of God. I am a child of
God. Thomas Kelly helps me know that
“deep within there is a inner sanctuary of the soul…” And Thomas Merton assures me that there is a
“true self” and that I can come to know and be my true self. It is tempting to say these are the answers
to the basic question, who am I?
But that is not quite true.
These so-called answers only point to the deeper questions. What does it mean to be in the image of
God? What does it mean to live as my
true self? What does it look like on a
daily basis to live like a child of God?
I can only answer these questions in my real life and a day-by-day
basis. And when I do it today, I will be
offered the opportunity again tomorrow.
That is the wonderful thing about the spiritual
journey. Each day I wake up with my
questions. I am known by my
questions. And then I endeavor to answer
those questions in my real life interacting with real people. That’s it!
I am the answer to God’s question: who will I be?
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