Sometimes when I am dealing with students, I encounter some
who are not very responsible. If it were
that simple, we would have narrowed the range of the problem. However the problem is bigger than the
student population. Certainly in my past
I have been irresponsible. And I am
still all-too-capable of not being responsible, even in my ripe old age! And clearly, there are other adults with whom
I deal who are not very responsible.
But it does not even stop there. We all can cite examples of businesses, which
did not operate responsibly. We know
some banking establishments in the mid-2000s that were involved in shady
practices that cost thousands of people much, if not all, of their life
savings. We know major sports programs
that have cheated on grades---obviously not responsible behavior. So when we talk about the ethics of
responsibility, we are dealing with a real issue in peoples’ lives and
interchanges.
The way I want to use the idea of responsibility
differentiates it from a requirement. Requirements are obligations. We are required to follow the law. It does not matter how we feel about it or,
even, whether we agree with a particular law.
The same thing goes for contracts that we may sign. If I sign a contract, then I am obligated to
obey the rules and stipulations contained in that contract. Requirements are actually
obligations---requiring obedience. In a
sense requirements have nothing to do with my own willingness.
Responsibility, as I want to use the term, presupposes that
my choice is present. To become
responsible for something or somebody means I willingly take on the task---I
agree to a commitment or call on my life, my time, my money, etc. There are many examples we could bring
forth. But let’s start with my
responsibilities to my friendships. I do
not have any friendships, which I would characterize as requirements. I am not put into any friendship by virtue of
some law. No one has required me to be
friends with any of my friends.
And none of my existing friendships come with rules and
regulations. I did not sign a contract
with any of my friends. In fact, most
friendships I have do not have a specific beginning point. Of course, I can probably recall the first
day my friend and I met. But my
definition of friendship is not so shallow as to say the day we met, we became
the best of friends. As I understand it,
friendships are a result of relationship development.
Hence, I do feel like I have responsibilities to my
friends---responsibilities, not requirements.
I am responsible to care for them.
I am responsible to be on the lookout for their welfare and to make
their lives as rich as I can possibly do.
A simple way I like to put it is to claim that the ethics of
responsibility of friendship is an ethic of love. If I have a friend, I willingly take on the ethic
of love. That means in every situation I
intend to be as loving as I can possibly be in that moment. That is a choice and I willingly choose it.
My ethic of love---the responsibility of friendship---is
different than perfection. I am not
perfect and, unfortunately, my loving will not be executed perfectly. It would be absurd for me to commit myself to
love perfectly. But I can commit to love
responsibly—to do the very best I can do in every situation. My friends rightfully expect that of me. There is an appropriate level of expectation
that comes with the ethic of responsibility.
If I commit to be responsible to you or to some situation, then there
are appropriate expectations that go into place.
All this is true and could be sufficient for a treatment of
responsibility. But there is one more
step for me. The ethics of
responsibility also characterize my relationship with God---the Holy One. Of course, I know there are things like the
Ten Commandments that sound very legal.
They are apparently laws and God rightfully thinks we owe obedience on
those. I don’t dispute that. But I do understand my primary relationship
with God to be one of responsibility rather than obligation.
I say this because my understanding of my relationship with
God is a relationship where God honors and respects my free will. This is based on my assumption that any
authentic love relationship has to honor the free will of the lovers. This holds true for God and me. God is an enticer, not an obligator. Certainly, my view of God is that God does
not coerce. God invites, implores,
desires---but God does not trick or coerce.
Since my relationship with God is one where I willingly have
entered and keep that relationship, I keep it by virtue of an ethics of
responsibility. And I believe God is
acting on that same ethic of responsibility.
But thankfully, along with this ethic of responsibility God often adds a
touch of mercy and grace!
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