I like to read other people’s writings to keep me thinking
about things. People offer different
perspectives than I sometimes see. And
sometimes people see things the way I do and that affirms me. One of the people I like to follow is Richard
Rohr. Rohr is about the age I am,
although he has taken a different track through life. Rohr is a life-long Catholic and I have just
dabbled in things Catholic. He is a
Franciscan friar and I have tried to do life in a more typical way.
In a recent article Rohr was talking about perspective. His experience is much like mine. When we speak, we realize we don’t know how
people “hear” us. Most of the time I am
pretty clear about what I said. I know
what I tried to emphasize and often am quite explicit what I hope people
learn. But that guarantees nothing.
We all have perspective and we bring our perspective to all
that we see and hear. Perspective is our
way of looking at the world. We learn
our perspective from our parents and friends.
Perspective is shaped by our culture.
Most of the time our perspective is implicit---we have one without
thinking about it. Since this is true,
we assume perspective is “just the way things are.” In other words whatever we see as normal is
our perspective.
Usually, we are not even aware of perspective until
something jolts us into awareness. One
typical way this happens is experiencing a crisis. Suddenly, the way we see things---the way we expect
things to happen---is thrown into chaos.
We may even say something like, “I didn’t see that coming.”
Another thing that will reveal perspective is when we find
ourselves in the midst of diversity. If
we are with people who are not like us, we realize there may be a relativity to
the way we see things. The other person
might say something quite differently.
Things like racism and sexism are good examples of perspectives and
which get challenged when we wander into diversity.
This serves as the backdrop to the point Rohr wants to make
when he talks about how people respond to something he says. He uses the example of the homily in
Mass. After the service some people talk
about how edified they were by his words.
Other folks are not moved at all by what he says. In this case his words were the same
words. But how folks heard, interpreted
and commented on his words can be different.
I like the way Rohr frames it.
Some people take things that are said and do positive things
with them. Other folks can take the same
things and be critical or be negative. I
have talked about people as blessors or cursors---some seem natural to bring
blessings to any situation and others managed to curse any endeavor. Another way I talked about folks is to
describe some as confirmers and others as complainers.
I like how Rohr ties this in with maturity. And I like the imagery that he uses. Rohr
observes: “Mature people can make lemonade out of lemons. Immature people can turn the sweetest
lemonade tart and sour.” This is such an
effective image because I can almost sense my mouth tasting the two kinds of
lemonade. I would like to build on this
image Rohr employs.
Let’s assume people are like the lemons. And let’s understand maturity and immaturity
to be two different kinds of perspective.
Mature people can make lemonade out of the lemons. I understand Rohr to say that mature
people---I am tempted to say spiritually mature people---can go into any
situation and make it better. These are
the people who bring love to a situation.
They are peacemakers and reconcilers.
They are the healers in our midst, not the ones who hurt. They are conduits of grace and mercy. Their lemonade is sweet.
And of course, there are the others folks---the
immature. They are capable of turning a
good situation sour. They can make a
mess of whatever they encounter---whatever they do. They have a knack of making things worse
instead of better. They seem to be
negative folks. They are quick to complain
and are very capable of blame. It is
never their fault; others are usually the dingies! They always cause reaction---sour and tart
are major reactions!
I am convinced we have choice. We can choose our perspective. What’s more, we can choose to grow and
mature. Even if we happen to be one of
those who make things sour and tart, we can change. A perspective is not forever. We can become aware of how we usually look at
things---what our “natural” tendency or perspective is---and change if we want
to be different.
I would like to be a lemonade kind of guy. Spiritually this means I want to know how to
bless, to heal, to help and to make peace.
If enough of us do this, we can change the world. And if even more can join God in the process,
we can help bring the Kingdom!
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