With a title like this one, you might expect this to be a
reflection by someone who has just survived a near-death experience. It could be one who escaped from a nasty car
accident or a near-miss airplane landing.
Lucky to be alive sounds like the relieved words of someone who stood in
front of death’s door and turned around to walk away. “Praise the Lord,” we expect to hear them
mutter.
But my reflections have nothing of the drama suggested in
the first paragraph. I have not had a
near-death experience. I have certainly
thought about dying and being dead, as I suppose is natural for anyone my
age. I have fortunately never been in a
nasty car accident. I have had some
scary enough (for me) plane takeoffs and landings, but nothing that was
disastrous. So I guess I have lived a
fairly eventful, normal---maybe---boring life.
That does not mean I cannot feel lucky to be alive. I do feel lucky. Let me elaborate. I have often quipped that there was no
committee meeting scheduled when I was conceived. I have no memory of my parents asking if I
wanted to be born. We are all conceived
and born without a chance to vote on it!
At that point of my birth, I would not know whether I was lucky or
unlucky to be alive. Obviously, I have no
memory of that event or day.
People nurtured me.
My parents did the best they could---and it was pretty good. I grew, got educated and developed my own
“person.” At some point we begin to
realize we are alive and, finally, on our own.
We are tracking our way through life.
Most of us will make it to adulthood and beyond. Few are unlucky enough to die young and
virtually all of us decide against suicide.
So we pile up the days and the years.
We may not have much of a sense, however, that we are lucky
to be alive. That requires some
awareness and reflection. Sometimes that
never happens until our lives come under some threat. What I decided to do---a long time ago
now---was to try to live with an awareness of how lucky I am to be alive. I did not want to wait until I was in trouble
or threatened with some kind of disaster to begin appreciating life.
For me this was a spiritual move. There are many ways to define
spirituality. A couple important aspects
of my definition are that spirituality is experiential---that is to say, it is
experience and not primarily doctrine of some sort. I am not against doctrine. I have doctrines, too. But doctrines don’t live and breathe. They don’t vibrate with life. The Spirit in me lives and breathes through
me. It vibrates in and through my
life. It gives me a quality of vibrancy
that I would not otherwise have.
The second quality of spirituality for me is awareness. I am not sure how I can have some sense of
being spiritual if I am not aware. I know
how easy it is to sleepwalk through life.
It amazes me how days can pass into weeks and I can be relatively
unaware. Oh, I can be aware that I am
hungry and, then, eat. But I am talking
about a deeper awareness.
I want an awareness of the fact that I am alive. I want to have some sense of that deeper
purpose calling me to some significance in life. I want to be aware of that deep Center within
me that keeps me centered and not living some crazy, wacky life. I want to be so aware of life that I don’t
wake up one day to realize I am old and not sure how I got here. I want each day to count instead of simply
being checked off.
I want to be spiritual enough to go into the wonderful park
system near my house and see the deer that are just inside the woods. On a recent run in the park, I saw four. They were young. I am sure if I were unaware, I would have
missed them. It was no big deal. But it added a quality to my run. It made me less egocentric. I realize again that I share this world. It is not “my world.” It is God’s world and I am lucky to be alive
and sharing it.
If I am aware on my runs, I recognize the seasons as they
come and go. My trip in the park is
magical. Sometimes it is the fall season
and the leaves paint a colorful picture for me.
Spring reverses the scene. Trees
bud and the green, young leaves begin to appear. I hope I never go for a run and not feel lucky
to be alive.
I do feel lucky to be alive.
But then I go a little deeper.
There may be luck involved. But
because the Holy One is the center of my belief-system, I recognize it is more
than luck. I do think there is a huge
element of grace. I am actually a gift
of God to the world! That is both a funny and sobering thought---to be a gift
to the world! You are, too, you know!
If I am a gift to the world, I want to experience all that
is possible. And I want to be as aware
as possible. If I can manage both, then
I will be as spiritual as possible. If I
am spiritual, then I am authentically thankful.
I can say Gracias for the
grace. The good news: my luck may run
out; but grace is forever. Gracias
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