A good friend of mine sent a short article to me. I had to laugh when I saw the opening line,
because it means she knows me fairly well.
The first line goes like this: “Are
you a perfectionist? Or do you strive
for excellence?” I felt like someone
just peeked into my soul! I am sure that
once upon a time I would have answered “yes” to both questions. Yes, I am a perfectionist. And yes, I am striving for excellence. It caused me to stop and ponder, which I
think, is a very spiritual way of going about things.
I made some spiritual
progress in my early pilgrimage when I realized I was a perfectionist. Being a perfectionist is not an awful thing;
it is just an impossible thing. Even people
who are very good cannot pull off the perfectionist hope. We are all too human to be perfect. So I was better off when I gave up that
dream…which was actually an illusion.
Giving up being a perfectionist does not necessarily make life
easier. But it does make life possible!
I read on in the
article. The article states that
perfectionism and excellence is not the same thing. I had not really thought about it, but could
agree. I liked how that article
differentiated them. “Perfectionism is focused
on ‘doing the ‘right,’ how things APPEAR, and if OTHERS
think it’s done right.” That resonated
with me. I acknowledge how important to
a perfectionist it is what others think.
Being a perfectionist for me meant pleasing others. Doing things “right” was paramount.
I would add that it is
impossible to be truly who you are if you are a perfectionist. That person is always trying to be something
that it is impossible to be. Normally
you are trying to live up to some ideal standard. Often that standard is set by someone else. This was the important lesson I learned. When I gave up the perfectionist quest, then
I could start to discover who I really was.
This is what Thomas Merton and other writers on spirituality mean by the
“true self.”
When I read what the
article said about excellence, it again resonated with how I understand
reality. “Excellence is about ‘doing the
right thing.” It is focused on the
REASON for a task, and the RESULTS for it to be a success.” When I read that excellence is about doing
the right thing, it reminded me of the work I have done on the theme of
character and integrity. Doing the right
thing has to do with the virtues---or “values” in today’s language.
When I think about the
spiritual giants in history---Jesus, the Buddha, Mohammed, and others---they
would all have been people aiming at this kind of excellence. They wanted to do the right thing. They focused on the reason for their
task. It might be a huge task like
inaugurating the kingdom of heaven! Or
it might be a lesser task (but no less important), like healing a local woman
of her illness.
I recognize that
excellence is appropriate for all of us who are not spiritual giants. However, I realize that I feel somewhat shy
when it comes to claiming excellence for myself. It is probably because I see excellence to be
such a high standard; only super-human folks can reach that. In our own culture excellence gets associated
with super-athletes or a musical protégé.
For average people, excellence is a bit unnerving.
To link excellence
with the spiritual seems even more unthinkable.
But then, I realized that I needed to consider it, especially in light
of the definition being used here. It
makes perfect sense to understand spiritual excellence as doing the right
thing. In this sense excellence is not
reserved for the elite. It is
appropriate for you and me to aspire to this kind of spiritual excellence: to
do the right thing.
Additionally, it seems
perfectly appropriate for all of us ordinary folks to aspire to spiritual
excellence when it comes to focusing on the reason for the task. Let’s assume my spiritual task is to know and
do the will of God. The reason for doing
this task is so that I can lend a hand to the building of the kingdom that
Jesus began. I understand myself as a
co-worker in this kingdom-building. I
hope you join me, too.
In this light it is
admirable to aspire to spiritual excellence.
It will not lead to pride or some form of egocentrism. I am sure that perfectionism does set one up
for egocentric temptations and the ensuing trials. Perfectionism sets us up for the pride that
comes from near successes. And it also
bombs us with the inevitable impossibilities and ensuring despair that comes
with failure.
In almost every way I
am surprised that I come out with a determination to go for spiritual
excellence. The adjective, “spiritual,”
is key here. If it is spiritual
excellence, then the spotlight shines on the right thing to do and the task set
before us. The task is to be involved
in God’s work and that is the right thing to do. I hope I can become spiritually excellent in
the process.
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