Suffering is not the favorite choice for spirituality
focus. In fact, many more popular
spiritualities forego any discussion of suffering. If you were to read these spiritualities, you
would not even think suffering ever happens.
To many of these superficial (in my estimation) spiritualities are
chasing what spiritual-psychiatrist, Gerald May, calls the happiness
mentality. In effect, that spirituality
contends that if you are spiritual, you ought to be happy.
Let it be said, I am happy to be happy. I don’t know anyone who prefers sadness to
being happy. Happiness is great; often
it is fun. But the happiness mentality
always crashes on the rocks of suffering.
And so far as I know, there is always the good chance we all will have
our share of suffering. Even the
Buddhist, who sets out on the spiritual pilgrimage to eliminate suffering,
begins with suffering as seemingly a given in life.
I don’t think suffering is a necessity in life. However, I do think that most of us live long
enough to have a little suffering come our way.
Since this is true, the question is not how we can avoid it. The real question is what do we do with it
when it happens to come to us?
Seldom do I go to the New
York Times for inspiration. I read
it on a regular basis, but it does not compare to the Bible! However, a recent issue had a compelling
article by David Brooks entitled, “What Suffering Does.” I find Brooks a very thoughtful guy. He clearly reads theology and philosophy. He quotes people from my theological world
that most folks would not know. This
article helped me think about the theme of suffering.
Early in the article, Brooks offers a telling insight. “When people remember the past, they don’t
only talk about happiness. It is often
the ordeals that seem most significant.
People shoot for happiness but feel formed through suffering.” I find that last sentence profound: people
are formed through suffering. In effect,
this means who we are at our core---our deepest self---often is crafted by
suffering than by giddiness. This
implies that if we have not suffered a little, we likely are not very deep
persons yet. We have not fully
developed.
Brooks continues to help me understand the phenomenon by
identifying a couple steps in the formation process through which suffering
takes us. He says that, “First,
suffering drags you deeper into yourself.”
Notice that verb: drags! This
means that suffering is not usually willingly embraced and is not something
that is careful of us. Suffering exposes
the superficialities in ourselves.
Perhaps this is why suffering has to drag us there. On our own, it is quite difficult to dive
beneath the routines and normalcies of our lives.
Brooks’ second point builds on the first one. He tells us that “suffering gives people a
more accurate sense of their own limitations, what they can control and cannot
control.” This is especially bad news
for those of us who spend most of life trying to control ourselves and,
especially, control others. We discover
that we are not the puppeteers; instead, we feel more like the puppets of our
suffering! Someone or something else has
control of our strings!
It is at this point that Brooks offers a nice ray of
hope. He acknowledges that “People in
this circumstance often have the sense that they are swept up in some larger
providence.” In effect, Brooks is saying
that when it gets tough, some of us may come to the awareness that there is an
Other---God for some of us---who is in it with us. In fact, the suffering may even lead to some
spiritual growth in us and some good for the world.
I am amazed to read further and hear Brooks say, “It’s at
this point that people in the midst of difficulty begin to feel a call.” People who are called begin to find a way to
respond to the suffering. These people
have to find a way to deal with the suffering and, ultimately, use it for some
good. I am blown away when Brooks says the
“right response to this sort of pain is not pleasure. It is holiness.” I don’t think Brooks is saying we go into
suffering as sinners and come out as saints!
In my own words, I do think Brooks is saying that suffering
can transform us. It can drag us deeper
into ourselves and, then, on to holy ground.
We don’t take off our shoes. But
we do shed our arrogance and egocentrism.
We become humble and available in a different way.
I think the question whether suffering is a pain or a
possibility is a false either/or.
Suffering can be a pain. But
suffering can offer amazing possibilities.
Don’t go looking for it. But if
it comes to you, allow it to do its soul work within you.
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