Every so
often I run into a quotation that stops me in my tracks. That happened yesterday when I was finishing
one of Thomas Merton’s books.
Periodically, I teach a seminar on Merton’s spirituality. I have done this multiple times. I like Merton and I suspect I will get
something new every time I teach that seminar.
Often I have read the book before, but somehow a particular quotation
never hit me like it does the current time through the material.
Merton was a
Catholic monk who died tragically in 1968.
He wrote a great deal and was ironically very famous even as a silent
monk in a monastery in the hills of Kentucky.
So even though he could not speak that much in his monastery and would
have to get the abbot’s permission even to receive a visitor he “spoke” to
millions of people around the globe through his writings. The voice that had chosen the silent path
spoke in volumes!
Merton’s
story is very familiar to me. After a
rather tumultuous youth and an atheistic phase through college years, Merton
hit rock bottom in his pointless search for life’s meaning. He began a spiritual quest and that finally
landed him in the Roman Catholic Church.
He is very clear about his conversion process. But it did not stop there. That process continues to lead him right into
the Trapppist monastery 45 minutes from Louisville in those Kentucky
knobs. So the highly educated global
citizen landed as a monastic hick in the South.
I was reading
near the end of what, arguably, is my favorite Merton Book, Conjectures of a Guilty Bystander. Published in 1965 near the end of his life,
Merton has become a critique of the culture in which he found himself. It was the ‘60s---Vietnam, racial issues,
feminist awakening, etc. I hit a
paragraph where Merton referenced his conversion and my eyes lite up.
Merton
comments, “God was not for me a working hypothesis, to fill in the gaps left
open by a scientific world view. Nor was
He a God enthroned somewhere in outer space.
Nor did I ever feel any particular ‘need’ for superficial religious
routines merely to keep myself happy. I
would even say that, like most modern men, I have not been much moved by the
concept of ‘getting into heaven’ after muddling through this present life.” Those lines of Merton are Merton at his best,
in my mind. He is so eloquent and, yet,
so matter of fact.
I resonate
with Merton’s quip that God was not a working hypothesis for him. God was not some reasonable idea in which
Merton chose to believe. Merton bluntly
said he did not feel any need to be involved in religious routine. This is funny to me coming from a monk who
had been “going to church services” at the monastery seven times a day for
nearly a quarter of a century! And I
most enjoyed Merton saying that he did not become religious in order to get
into heaven!
Merton was
not worried about getting into heaven.
He was more worried about getting into a real present life. That is what he converted to get. Again listen to Merton’s words. “On the contrary, my conversion to
Catholicism began with the realization of the presence of God in this present
life, in the world, and in myself, and that my task as a Christian is to live
in full and vital awareness of this ground of my being and of the world’s
being…When I entered the Church I came seeking God, the living God, and not
just ‘the consolation of religion.’”
That’s the
key, I thought. Merton converted not to
get into heaven, but to get into a real, genuine, and vibrant life in this
world and in this present time. That is
where he sought God. He sought the
living God, as he says. That is a very
different God than some reasonable idea of God.
I can manipulate ideas of God. I
can make that God anything I want God to be.
But the real
God---the living God---will be Who that God already is and will be. That God Merton found and that God changed
his life forever. That is the God I,
too, want to meet and greet. I do that
with some trepidation. I don’t want to
be called to a monastery in some unimaginable place. Probably, Merton did not intend that either.
I suspect the
living God will call me (and anyone else who seeks and finds that living God)
into unimaginable places. I am convinced
that living God will call you and me into an educational experience. We will learn to live. Let me explain.
To live is
not simple. There is a range to
living. Imagine the range is something
like survival on one hand and thriving on the other hand. Most of us are somewhere in between. In my theology it is God---the living
God---who teaches us how to thrive in our present lives. That usually calls for a re-ordering of
priorities, re-commitments, and re-newing.
This is what conversion means.
Only the living God can create thriving women and men who learn to live
abundant lives.
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