I am one of those people who like “alone” time. It can happen when I am by myself on a long
drive. Or it can happen when other
people in my house are away for an extended period of time. I do not dread these times. In fact, I welcome them. To have some alone time does not mean I never
see other people.
If I am on a long drive, I can always stop for fuel or
coffee and talk with any person I want to speak to. If I am home alone, I can always go out
somewhere and find people with whom I can talk.
I know many people who are home alone will have the television on all
the time. That is not true for me.
Solitude can scare folks.
Many go to great lengths not to be “stuck alone.” I understand that, but it is not how I
am. Perhaps it is because I am by nature
more introverted. Or perhaps it is
because I grew up on a farm when I spent countless hours by myself. Those were the days before tractors had
radios and even fancier equipment. There
certainly was not internet, cell phones, etc.
Those days I was in a field by myself and that was my fate. I did not mind that at all.
I like alone time. It
gives me time to think about things. I
need time to ponder life. I am sure
there are many others just like I am. I
am very aware that life slips by pretty quickly. Days turn into months and years. There are all sorts of things that come our
way demanding attention, effort, and work.
Jobs, kids and all that eat away at our personal development. I value all those things that have occupied
zillion of hours of my life. My jobs, my
kids, my friends, etc. have been wonderful things to occupy my time and
energy. I would not change a thing.
And yet! And yet,
none of these guarantee that I have lived life well and meaningfully. All of these are important and I would trade
nothing. But they are not inherently
spiritual. And that is the bottom line
determiner of meaning and purpose. Of
course, having a family, a career, friends, and so forth give meaning and
purpose to our lives. I would never
discount those. But I am not sure any of
these qualify as the ultimate determiner of meaning and purpose. If that were true, then a monk or person with
no career could not have an ultimately meaningful life.
Alone time is a special time for me. It is that time when I am devoid of immediate
relationships. It is a time when my
career is not the center of my attention.
There are no friends nearby to take my mind away from my deeper self
(assuming I have any sense of a deeper self).
There is just me. In these times
it is important that I do not have the tv blaring. If I am in a car, it is important that the
radio or other device is not playing.
Solitude often is accompanied by silence. That is key for me.
I know some folks would be doubly intimidated by solitude and
silence. But I welcome both. There is a vulnerability that enters our
solitude and silence. There is no
distraction. Nothing holds us to the
superficial and shallow. We are sitting
ducks for life’s deeper questions. We
are prey to doubts and potential despair.
Into the pockets of solitude creep the questions about things like
death.
I welcome these times.
I see my alone time as time to practice.
I need time to practice entertaining and embracing deep questions in
life. I want to think about my relationships
and my commitments. I want some time to
consider the past and how it has shaped me.
I want to look backward enough to figure out what to continue.
But most of all, I need some alone time to think about the
present and to ponder the future. The
present is directly tied to my future.
Tomorrow is the first day of my future.
And what I do today directly affects tomorrow. I know that if I do not have time alone, I
likely am to spend too much time living in the past or waiting for the future. I am sure that spiritual meaning and purpose
is found neither in the past nor the future.
I am convinced meaning and purpose exist today…or they do not exist.
If I have no time alone to ponder this, I do not think I can
even know if meaning and purpose exist in my life. I can assume they do. I can pretend they do. Without some time alone, I will not know for
sure. So what is the spiritual teaching
in all this?
The spiritual teaching in all this is to make sure I have a
little alone time each day. Alone time
is easy on a long trip by yourself. But
in the busyness of a normal day, alone time is trickier. I know the temptation to assume that busyness
is the same thing as meaning and purpose.
Not true!
I want some daily alone time. I want to use some of that time (it can be as
little as ten minutes) to pray a bit.
Perhaps some meditation is useful.
It may be simply a time to sit quietly and ponder. Alone time can be uncluttered. Make yourself available. I do believe there is a deep Spirit in the
universe who wants to come into our present and be Present. If I am not alone, I am not sure I will catch
it!
lovely post! this is exactly how I feel and what I do. I'd be lost without my alone time! Thanks for this :)
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