Recently I wrote a piece on what I called “sacred
aging.” In that piece I wanted to point
out the difference between what I called sacred aging and simply getting
older. I believe everyone gets
older. Unless you die, you are in the
process of getting older. It is perhaps
most stark in a retirement center or nursing home. In those places there is a constellation of
old people. In many ways they have
already gotten old---and are in the process of getting older. But they all still have a choice about sacred
aging.
Almost in a blink of the eye, I was presented with a stark
alternative to sacred aging. This new
experience was easy to label as “sacred gift.”
Since it has to do with gift, that means I had almost nothing to do to
get the gift. All gifts plunk into our
laps. Allow me to tell you about the
sacred gift.
My sacred gift is a granddaughter. As with all kids, she was born a very little
baby! Of course, babies rapidly
grow. They turn into adolescents and
then teenagers in what often seems like warp speed. Soon enough they are zooming through high
school and proudly run off to college and the rest of their lives. If we are lucky, we are kept in the loop of
information and updates. Sometimes they
get married and have babies. That at
least is the trajectory of how I got a granddaughter.
Obviously, I had a great deal to do with my daughter. Blood, sweat and tears went into her
upbringing, as all parents can narrate.
When your kids make it on their own, you feel a sense of accomplishment
and relief. At least, that was how I
felt. Then you realize your kids are
going to replicate what you did! They
begin the pattern all over. And not
surprisingly, grandsons and granddaughters often are the result. That has now happened to me.
It hit me when I became aware of sitting in my chair with my
granddaughter in my arms. She is a
sacred gift. I did not ask for her. I was not consulted. I was not asked if I wanted a
grandchild. I did nothing to create or
foster this experience. And there I sat
with a little kid that theoretically carries my DNA and will be part of my
legacy. In an odd way she is “mine.”
It sounds odd to use that possessive pronoun---“mine.” For sure, she is “my” granddaughter because
she is the “kid of my kid.” In that
sense, she definitely is “mine.” But in
many other senses, she is not “mine.” Basically,
she is God’s child---God’s precious child.
In this respect she is just like every other baby that is born. That includes me and it includes you, too. Each one of us is God’s child.
This is a great reminder for myself. If she is a child of God, as I am a child of
God, then that gives every one of us special status. As a child of God, she comes as a sacred gift
to my daughter and me, as grandparent. As
I see it, there is actually only one appropriate response: thank you! Gracias.
As I held her in my arms, that is all I could think to say: gracias. I hope I can maintain my sense of
appreciation for the gift that she is.
Then the implications hit me. If she is a child of God, so am I. As such, I also am a sacred gift. I did not cease to be a special gift when my
parents died. I am not limited as a special
gift only to my parents. In the widest
sense possible, I am God’s sacred gift to the entire world. And so are you.
What if we each began to see ourselves and fully appreciate
ourselves as a sacred gift? That would
re-orient a great deal of self-perception.
I suspect most folks do not see themselves as a sacred gift. I like this perspective and want to live more
fully into that truth about myself.
If we can begin to see ourselves and each other more and
more in this light, then we would begin to appreciate ourselves and each other
in profoundly new and enriched ways. If
I see you as sacred gift, then I value you in significant ways. To go to this level would portend huge
things. I imagine that love would break
out all over the place. I certainly
feel love for the little bundle in my arms.
I am not going to take you into my arms---literally, at least. But if I see you as sacred gift, then I
figuratively will take you in my arms.
Love will lead.
And, I believe, peace will follow. To see everyone as sacred gift should lead to
less conflict, far less chaos and a radical out breaking of peace. This would be like the prelude to communion
as practiced by the Catholics and other liturgical tradition. Before going to the communion table, everyone
offers to each other “the peace.” “The
peace of the Lord be with you.” And I
respond with something like, “and peace be with you.”
If we can all see ourselves and each other as sacred gifts
in the world, we would necessarily become lovers and peacemakers. Funny what holding a kid can do! Turns out to be a sacred gift!
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