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Gift and Reception

I recently finished Richard Rohr’s book, Falling Upward.  The subtitle of that book gives a sense of its focus: A Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life. Chronologically at least, I am in the second half of life.  Mathematically there is no way I can live as long as I already have lived!  But chronology does not guarantee much except physical maturity.  We all know that people can be old, but emotionally immature.  And that certainly goes for spiritual maturity as well.
           
Rohr’s book has given me some good ideas for dealing emotionally and spiritually with the second half of life.  Chronologically, I know I am heading to death.  Emotionally and spiritually I would like to aim for life and to head in that direction.  When I say that, I am not necessarily talking about eternal life---life after death.  I am not opposed to that, but I am more concerned with real, true life before I die.  I want to live today!
           
I found a line in the last chapter of Rohr that excited me and, then, caused some trepidation. Matter of factly, Rohr says, “God will always give you exactly what you truly want and desire.” In the first place, this is a very daunting claim.  God will always give us exactly what we truly want and desire!  This is a very bold theology and theological claim.  Let’s unpack it and see what is at stake.
           
This line says something about God and something about ourselves, too.  Perhaps we should look at ourselves and, then, move to God.  I am sure each one of us knows full well that we have many wants and desires.  It is interesting to me that Rohr names “wants and desires.”  I wonder what happened to “needs?”  Clearly our needs are in a different category.  It is also clear that our wants and desires fall into the optional camp.  Needs are necessary; wants and desires are optional.
           
So it is amazing to think Rohr believes God always gives exactly what we want and desire.  But then, that is not quite right.  The adverb modifying those two verbs, want and desire, is really important.  The adverb is “truly.”  I don’t know precisely what Rohr has in mind here, but I can guess.
           
What we truly want and desire is very limiting.  For sure, we can want and desire a great number of things.  I want a Mercedes car, but I don’t truly want one.  And it certainly is not a necessity.  So God is not going to give me a Mercedes.  I can buy one if I want that car.
           
I realize what I truly want moves quickly to the spiritual level.  I truly want my life to be meaningful and have a purpose.  I want my time on earth to count for something.  I want to make a difference.  These things I truly want.  Having said that, I realize my true wants and desires are never egocentric.  It might be arguable, but I postulate what humans truly want and desire are things that are good and laudable. 

And those things take human effort---to do all that we can do.  I know that I am following Rohr’s line of thinking when I look at the next sentence after the line just quoted.  Rohr adds that we should “make sure you desire, desire deeply, desire yourself, desire God, desire everything good, true, and beautiful.”

This is where it shifts to God.  In these situations God always gives us exactly what we want and desire.  In effect, this affirms that God wants and desires what we truly want and desire.  Our human effort will always be matched by God’s grace.  Grace is simply the theological way of saying God always gives us this gift.  Grace does not limit my human effort.  We cannot slack off saying, in effect, God’s grace will take care of me.  We have to do our part---human effort---and God will do God’s part---always grace.  It is an amazing deal!

I am very grateful for this Divine Gift.  I don’t think there is any other response to God’s actions except gratitude.  However, I can only come to the place of gratitude if I have done the spiritual work of becoming clear what I truly want and desire.  I have to winnow the totality of my wants and desires to come to the key wants and desires I truly want.

As I winnow the many wants and desires I have, I again realize that what I truly want and desire can only be the spiritual.  As Rohr says, I truly desire myself, my God and the good, true and beautiful.  This is my spiritual work---truly to want and desire the good, true, and beautiful.  If I do that, God will always give me exactly what I want.  And I will be grateful---maybe eternally grateful.




           

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