In a recent article for a national religious periodical Pat Marrin used the phrase, “holy ambiguity of grace.” I found this charming phrase a new way to think about grace. I know grace is a big theme in my own spirituality. I have thought a great deal about grace and have written quite a bit. I am sure grace comes as good news to most of us. But Marrin found a novel way to look at grace and I appreciate it.
In the classical languages like Greek, I know the word, grace, means literally a gift. Grace is always a gift. We are given grace; we don’t earn it. We cannot talk about deserving grace. Normally, what we deserve is justice and that typically is not going to be good news. Justice tells us we have blown it and there will be consequences. We can’t complain about justice. When we blow it, there are consequences. Every parent knows this drill.
A parent would not tell a little kid “no” and not mean it. And if we tell the kid no and she keeps on doing it, we have to move to the action stage and offer some kind of disciplined response. Otherwise, our “no” to the kid only is a bunch of meaningless words. And the kid soon figures this out and the parent has bigger problems! Probably every parent has been down this road.
Analogously, humans are kids of God. As with our own kids, as God’s kids, we don’t always behave the way God would want. It is easy for me to think about those times I blew it. It does not take much effort to know what God wants us to do in most situations. We don’t need a fat rulebook with all of God’s regulations. There are some very obvious ones. Be loving. Share with others. And so we could quickly add a few more basic ways of acting in accordance with God’s will. So some of us fall short some of the time.
The danger in falling short is to assume I can never do it right. We can complain that we have reasons why we can’t be good the way God would want. We can blame our parents, our upbringing, our current situation and almost anything else. But all of this is to take ourselves off the hook and blame someone or something else. “It’s not my fault” becomes our pitiful cry. Don’t blame me. It is always our personal version of “the devil made me do it.” When I hear this, I smile and say, “I doubt that the devil made you do it.”
Some of us never feel like we are up for doing what is right and what God wants---like the scenario just outlined. Others of us try the other extreme: trying to become perfect by being perfectionists. This was my preferred route to God. Being perfect also fits my own self-image---or at least, the self-image I wanted to project in the world.
There is a kind of arrogance in perfectionism. Arrogance is normally linked to pride. And too often, it implies others in my sphere of life are lesser than I am, because they are not perfect---perfect like me. Perfectionists need to be right, to be admired and adored and so on. Deep down, the perfectionist usually knows he is living a charade, but he knows no other way. So the pretension goes on. Others know we are not perfect, but we don’t listen and don’t believe them.
The perfectionist also needs grace. But the grace offered here is different than the grace offered the person who feels inadequate and like he or she is never enough. This is why Pat Marrin talks about the ambiguity of grace. No doubt at the basic level, grace is grace. Grace is gift. But a gift looks different to the person who has one perspective (perfectionist) from another person whose perspective is different (inadequacy).
I like how Marrin comments on the ambiguity of grace. She says, “As we strive to be holy people despite our weaknesses, we can take comfort and find courage in letting God work within us, as we are, where we are, and through all our life experiences.” It is interesting to think about one form of this ambiguity of grace to be the fact that God works in us. As Spirit, I do think God works in us. God uses our talents and abilities to do the kinds of things God wants from us kids. Parents know very well how often we help our own kids do good things. Why would it be any different for God?
Marrin then alludes to prayer. She notes, “We pray to share in the holy ambiguity of grace as it meets even sin in us.” Why not pray for this divine grace? Why should we be resigned to going it alone? Why would someone who sees himself as always inadequate not pray for this kind of grace? And why would not someone who sees herself as nearly perfect also not pray for this grace? As Marrin affirms, this ambiguity of grace is “the joy of the Gospel.”
I have known for a long time how important grace is in my life and to my own theology. I appreciate Marrin helping add another wonderful way to understand and articulate how grace comes to us.
Those of us who have read theology or, perhaps, those who are people of faith and are old enough might well recognize this title as a reminder of the late Jewish philosopher and theologian, Martin Buber. I remember reading Buber’s book, I and Thou , when I was in college in the 1960s. It was already a famous book by then. I am not sure I fully understood it, but that would not be the last time I read it. It has been a while since I looked at the book. Buber came up in a conversation with a friend who asked if I had seen the recent article by David Brooks? I had not seen it, but when I was told about it, I knew I would quickly locate and read that piece. I very much like what Brooks decides to write about and what he contributes to societal conversation. I wish more people read him and took him seriously. Brooks’ article focused on the 2016 contentious election. He provocatively suggests, “Read Buber, Not the Polls!” I think Brooks puts
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