I don’t watch too much tv---mostly news and some sports. I am more interested in the local news, since I read a fair amount online about national and international news. Rarely do I actually have a newspaper in my hand. Obviously, times have changed over the decades. But I continue to be intrigued by news. I want to hear what people are thinking and to know the issues. But I admit, I am not always fully present. Having read much during the day, I often already know what the local news is going to tell me. The problem with this is I sometimes miss something good---or only half hear it.
That happened recently when a reporter was interviewing a young adult African American woman. My city is more than half African American, although the surrounding suburbs tend to be quite white---not unusual in larger cities all across our country. And the city residents tend to be poorer than their suburban neighbors. Sadly, the education in the city also tends to be less able to take the students to the level we might want for them.
For some reason, I became more aware of the interview. I heard the young woman talking about how much volunteering and service she does. I do not know her name nor any other details like that. So I can’t document it in the moment, but I am sure it can be looked up and done properly. But that’s not important here. In my interpretation she was saying that she was doing her little part to change the world. I was impressed.
She uttered a short line which brought me up so short that I quickly wrote it down, so I would not forget it. She said, “We grow up with a lack of and go into the world lost.” There is a poignancy in these words. She was talking about young African American kids growing up---perhaps like she did. Although it could apply to any kid who grows up in a “down and out” kind of place and family, I want to leave her comments in the context of her own African American community.
I realized that even though my family did not have very much as I grew up, we had enough. And I know for sure I could not say what she said: “We grow up with a lack of and go into the world lost.” I realized I was tempted initially to assume the “lack of” comment pointed to her economic reality. To be blunt, her family was quite poor. I had enough; perhaps she did not have enough---there was a lack of… I think she was talking about economics. But I suspect she also was talking about more than that.
I know for many families---not limited to African Americans---there is a lack of family support. It could be a single parent family---often a working mom. That is a major lack. Supportive families can deal with significant poverty and come out ok. Supportive families or community systems provide so much more than food. Families and systems help kids learn how to dream and create opportunities. They teach young ones how to be responsible.
The other half of her statement hit me hard. “…we go into the world lost.” That is not an economic problem. It cannot be measured in clear terms like dollars and cents. To be lost is more subjective and, perhaps, more pernicious. It strikes me as soulful in a deep way. It is more difficult to address. You cannot “fix” it like you can economic issues. In this sense it is more psychological and spiritual. Finally, these two are difficult to separate, so I am content to keep them linked.
To be lost is to have no bearings. You don’t know where you are and where you are going---or even can go. Often, it is a very lonely place. In psychological terms, I would say this is a person whose identity is shaky or gone. And it is a person whose relational life is in shambles or has disappeared. Too often, those of us with answers and remedies don’t have anything that makes sense to a person who is lost.
Even if I think God is the answer, it usually makes no sense to say that to a person who feels lost. I do think they are looking for someone or something to believe in, but in the first place, it is not likely something cognitive. That normally comes later. First, they desire to have some sense that someone or even something cares.
Telling someone you care is hardly even enough to matter---unless they already know you care. I suggest care is first an action and then words are good. If I want to help, which is what this young lady was doing, it will come through action. That is what impressed me. She is incarnating the love of God---as I would put it---to go into her neighborhood and care. Caring is action. I don’t know the details of what she is doing. But it does not matter.
I do think if I can sense someone cares, then I don’t feel as lost anymore. And the lack I am feeling begins to subside. What a mission and what a ministry!
Those of us who have read theology or, perhaps, those who are people of faith and are old enough might well recognize this title as a reminder of the late Jewish philosopher and theologian, Martin Buber. I remember reading Buber’s book, I and Thou , when I was in college in the 1960s. It was already a famous book by then. I am not sure I fully understood it, but that would not be the last time I read it. It has been a while since I looked at the book. Buber came up in a conversation with a friend who asked if I had seen the recent article by David Brooks? I had not seen it, but when I was told about it, I knew I would quickly locate and read that piece. I very much like what Brooks decides to write about and what he contributes to societal conversation. I wish more people read him and took him seriously. Brooks’ article focused on the 2016 contentious election. He provocatively suggests, “Read Buber, Not the Polls!” I think Brooks puts
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