Here I Am

I think I must be in a season of songs.  Various songs pop into my head.  Most of them are because of the tune and, then, what words I remember come back to me.  I have enjoyed music, as everyone does, but I am not big into music.  I only messed around with a coupe instruments when I was younger.  Unfortunately, I spent too much time on sports, instead of developing at least a modicum of musical talent.  And so, at one level, it is a little odd to have music become a big part of my recent life.

One song that recently came to me was the song written by John Michael Talbot, contemporary Catholic composer.  He called it “Here I Am,” which is modeled after some verses from the Hebrew Bible, Isaiah.  It is a hymn that talks about a person who hears a call and responds.  I find it both a challenge and reassuring.  It inspires me to want to listen and to be as responsive as the person Talbot describes.  It does not require a special person or gift.  It requires a willingness.  I want to be willing.

Let’s look at the words of the chorus.  It begins simply.  “Here I am, Lord; is it I, Lord?”  This begins with an offering.  It is an offering of presence and willingness.  It is almost as if the person says, “I’, available.”  Maybe availability is the key to love, service and deep meaning in life.  That is what I think.  Then the person boldly asks, is it I?  Is this where I am supposed to step up and to step out?  It is my time and my place?  Along with availability comes readiness.  If it is for me to do, then let’s go.

The chorus continues.  “I have heard You calling in the night; I will go, Lord.  If You lead me, I will hold Your people in my heart.”  I find this very touching.  I do think this person is being called.  A call from God is different than a dream.  We wake up from dreams.  With a call, we also wake up, but the call does not go away.  Waking up does not hang up on the caller.  The call is an invitation---maybe for some folks, it is a command.  Sometimes in my experience, the call is subtle and takes some time in discernment.  But if we stay open, available and ready, the call becomes clear and we make our choice.

Now, let’s look at some of the other lines from the song.  It opens with this stanza from God’s perspective.  “I, the Lord of sea and sky; I have heard my people cry.”  Ironically, the song opens with a note of God’s openness, availability and willingness to respond.  God is ready to reach out and lift up.  This is both a promise and a grace.  For that I am grateful.  God continues to talk in this song.  “All who dwell in dark and sin; my hand will save.  This assurance is why I call it a promise and a grace.

Of course, we have to have faith that this is true.  And the faith in its truth is not the same thing as knowledge about what the promise in detail means.  Too often, the language of salvation is difficult for some folks.  There are times I find it quite troubling.  Any of us who talk about salvation usually are assuming that we are among the ones saved!  Sometimes it can be divisive.  Some make it; others don’t.  I am not sure this is what God is promising.

The first stanza finishes in this manner.  “I who made the stars of night; I will make their darkness bright.”  And then comes the clincher: the question.  “Who will bear my light to them?  Whom shall I send?”  Ironically, God’s promise and grace seems dependent.  It is dependent on some folks being willing to be available and ready to “bear the light.”  That phrase sounds so Quaker!  

It is a lovely way to talk about discipleship.  Disciples are those who have come to the light, have come to know the light and now are ready to bear that light in the world.  Of course, some would be tempted to capitalize (L)ight.  The light can be God, Jesus, love---whatever it is, the light is a source at the heart of the universe that is creative and, when it senses problems, becomes re-creative.  But the light has one condition.  People have to bear it.  We will see the saving light in the lives of others.  They are the ones who said to God, here I am.

That is both profound and powerful.  If we can come to this place of willingness and then action to be bearers of the light, no better life can be imagined.  It is not necessarily a call to the priesthood.  But it is a call to sainthood.  I am sure teachers, doctors and many other professions are full of light bearers.

It is my intention to begin listening better.  I suspect many of us need to de-clutter our lives in order to be attentive to the important things that life has to offer.  I realize how easy it is to be online all day long.  There are myriad temptations to steal our attention and time.  We give away our lives in stupid and superficial ways in which no saving is done at all.  Sadly, too many effectively have said to the dumb temptations, “here am I,” and off we go on meaningless pursuits of nothing.

There is a different caller, if we but listen.  And when we hear, we respond, here am I.