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The Gift of Community

After a while, folks get tired of the challenges of a pandemic.  In the early days of a pandemic, it is easy to be in a mood of denial.  It reminds me of one of the first phases of the process of grief.  News initially came out of China, which is so far away, it does not even seem possible that it potentially will relate to us.  And then we began to read of cases in this country.  As usual, it happens on both coasts and again people in the middle of the country dismiss this as the price people pay to live on the Atlantic or Pacific coasts.

And then it gets closer to home.  And finally, it becomes a reality.  Denial gives way to a little discomfort and, then, that turns into anger, rebellion and people who simply decide they are immune, and it won’t affect them.  Apparently, they have little regard for other folks.  But hey, this is the American way, right?  We are individuals and are on our own.  Too bad if you are older, sicker or weaker.  Unstated in this kind of attitude is the assumption that it probably doesn’t matter if you die anyway. 

As the days turn into the weeks and, then, months, the pandemic becomes all to real.  The price so many people pay for this time is quite high.  There are economic prices, justice issues and so forth.  As usual, the poor pay a much higher price than the well-to-do.  Statistics suggest African Americans and, perhaps, Hispanics also pay a higher price.  It seemed like urban areas suffered more, but now it is even affecting the countryside. 

Besides the obvious economic, justice and other issues, I suggest there are four more subtle psychological and spiritual prices people are paying in this time of chaos, as I choose to call the pandemic.  These four are ways folks find life a real challenge.  They are loneliness, helplessness, hopelessness and pointless.  Let’s unpack each and see what is at stake.

Studies show that nearly half of the American population feels lonely.  There are a range of things that go with feeling lonely.  We may feel like no one cares.  No one pays any attention.  The world passes me by, and I have no role or place in it.  Loneliness is not the same thing as solitude.  Solitude simply means I am by myself---alone.  Many of us seek out solitude.  Solitude can even be part of one’s spiritual discipline.  Introverts are quite happy for some alone time.  Loneliness is something else.

Helplessness is probably something most of us have felt from time to time.  Everyone has been so sick at some point in their lives, they felt like they could not even help themselves.  Infants seem pretty helpless.  I used to marvel when I was a kid on a farm at the birth of a calf.  The calf would pop out and in only a few minutes would be standing and, soon, nursing.  How different for our babies!

But helplessness as it is experienced in this pandemic is different.  I think about people who are in the ICU in our hospitals or the elderly in nursing homes.  Sometimes they become gravely sick and their families and loved ones cannot even visit.  It becomes tragic when they become so sick, all concerned know they soon are going to die.  And they are alone; they are helpless.  And so is the family.  We are stuck in this chaotic mess called the pandemic.  It hardly seems fair.  No wonder the Psalmist sometimes yelled at God!

Loneliness and helplessness can lead to the third one I identified, namely, hopelessness.  To feel hopeless is to feel like I have no future---or at least, one I want not at all.  To feel hopeless means I feel powerless to have any effect on what’s coming.  I become a slave to misery.  I am trapped or stuck and there is no way out of the predicament.  People who feel depressed may sense they are on the border of hopelessness.  Sometimes it simply does not matter what others tell us or encourage us to do. 

This can lead to the final feeling that life is pointless.  We no longer even think we are living.  It is more like existing.  To sense that life is pointless is to recognize there is no meaning and no purpose to my life.  I can go on, but I am going nowhere and it means nothing.  There is no reason to get up and no reason to do anything else, for that matter.  Our friends can offer advice and encouragement, but to no avail.  The fact that their lives have some point does not mean my life. 

It is probably obvious we can feel more than one of these at a time.  In fact, that is likely a common thing.  It can make a great deal of sense to see a therapist.  Often, they can be very helpful.  Sometimes medication can assist us in getting some relief.  Additionally, I believe some of this is a spiritual issue.  Further, I want to believe that community can be a gift.

Community is more than being part of a group.  Community is a circle of folks who care about each other, support each other, share and love each other and even more.  Typically, there is a mutuality, which means I get things and I also give things.  Community is a context where I feel like I matter, and I am both wanted and needed.  And I do believe community addresses all four of the issues we detailed.

And I am sure in this time of chaos, community is a true gift.  Find yourself in one!

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