Boredom is not a new thing. But I suspect it is not centuries old. Likely, it is a phenomenon of our more modern world. Too many times, I am sure I have used the phrase, “I’m bored,” or “that was really boring.” It was usually a commentary on my own situation or, more likely, a commentary on something or someone else. I know I have even used it in a context that would be surprising.
For example, I very much like basketball. I loved it when I played it. I enjoyed it even well into some old age, even though I wasn’t any good anymore. I have enjoyed watching it ever since I can remember. My dad was a high school basketball referee. I remember going with him even before I went to school and sitting on one of the benches to watch the game. Nevertheless, I know I have come out of watching a game and said, “That was a boring game.”
All of us who have had kids know what it is like to hear their complaint that they are bored. Or more likely, the complain about something we asked them to do by informing us it was very boring! I am sure my grandkids think I am pretty boring. That is in addition to being technologically out of it and culturally illiterate!
In their eyes I don’t have much going for me!
In our current situation there is an upsurge of boredom. People who are restricted typically are more likely to be victims of boredom. A little research on the matter also indicates that folks who are less well-educated are more likely to get bored. There are other social and economic indicators of folks who are more likely to get bored, but I contend we are all sitting ducks for this complaint. So I wanted to look a little deeper at this topic.
It is worth looking at because when we are bored, we are more likely to do some stupid things or things that are not good for us. Boredom sets us up to be tempted by things that otherwise might not have much effect. Boredom means we are more likely to be looking for a way out of our current situation. Many of these diversions are quite legal. Some are not, like drugs. I like how Mary Mann put it in a recent article in The Atlantic. “Boredom spurs people to do dumb things because it makes them itch to do something, anything, other than what they’re actually doing at the moment…”
Mann continues by telling us why boredom sets in. She tells us, “The mood is highly correlated to feeling trapped—in a dead-end job, a community we don’t connect to, or even just a crappy conversation—so our experiencing it in mandated seclusion makes sense.” This is a good thing to know, since it gives us the capacity to monitor ourselves. Am I feeling trapped? Do I feel like I don’t really have any options in the moment? If this is true, humans are wired to do something about it---anything. This is what Mary Mann calls boredom’s “itch.”
This is why I wanted to think about boredom. As we experience this itch, we are getting a signal that something is up in our lives. Mann says this often is linked to our loss of purpose. In turn, she quotes a Dutch psychologist who taught her that boredom is “This annoying feeling is actually a sophisticated alert system, a sort of inner (and free!) life coach tapping us on the shoulder to suggest that we might want to change something.” Simple enough, it seems.
But we often respond to this emotional alert system, i.e. claiming that we are bored, by changing in ways that are not good. We might be tempted to go on a bender than go for a walk. If boredom is somehow linked to purpose, then I think this is a good place to begin looking for a creative (and maybe, spiritual) solution. This is why I want to watch out for boredom. There are better and worse ways to respond and quit being bored.
I would argue that boredom is an internal judgment. I can claim something is boring when someone else is having a blast. If I thought the basketball game was boring, that does not mean it was. If I take my kids to a reunion and I think it was wonderful, more than likely they think it was boring. It was the same event, but differing judgments about what it was like. So if boredom is an internal judgment, then the solution probably is also internal.
The key is to reframe the situation or how I respond. There are some time-honored ways of doing this. I am confident beginning some of the spiritual disciplines, i.e. prayer, meditation, yoga, etc., are good. Often I suggest people begin an exercise program. Especially in good weather exercising outside is a great way to add some nature to the regimen. It is always true that having social connections is good for our souls. Spiritual communities can be lifesavers. Even people who are shut ins can be in contact with the outside world.
Looking for a way to give our lives some purpose is very important. Do something for someone else. Help kids in some fashion. Make your life about something that is bigger than yourself. Too often, I am convinced those of us who are bored somehow expect the world to deliver meaning and purpose to us. I don’t think Amazon does that yet! And buying a bunch of stuff from Amazon may not do it either.
Is it too simple to say you don’t have to be bored? I think not.
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