Skip to main content

​​​​The “G” Words

​​​​As I sat in a meeting, it hit me.  Everyone on the call seemingly were complaining.  It was a fairly large group on the call, and they are all smart.  So being the creative human beings they are, there was no shortage of things about which we could complain.  Often our complaints were directed against someone else.  After a while, I realized the complaining was about to lead me to complain!

​That is when I had to stop in my tracks, reflect and look for an alternative.  I don’t blame the folks on the call for complaining.  We are living in a time that is pretty taxing.  Nobody prayed that we would have a pandemic---global in its reach.  Unfortunately, that is simply an extreme example of what can happen to any of us individually.  I remember when the doctor told me that I had cancer.  Suddenly, I had my own personal pandemic.  The world was not affected, so almost everyone else went on their merry way.  I am sure I complained.

​Complaining has an upside.  The Psalms are spotted with verses where the Psalmist complains to God about this or that.  The complaints feel justified to any of us who suffer the same malady the Psalmist was railing about.  Why do sinners seemingly prosper?  That’s not fair---complain, complain and more complaining.  One of the longest books in the Hebrew Bible is the saga of poor Job.  He did nothing to deserve what came his way.  His friends sure thought he ought to complain.  Or worse, they complained because they thought he probably did something to deserve it.  

​There were some things Jesus suggested to his disciples that I probably would have complained about, had I been there.  If someone smacks you, turn the other cheek!  You gotta be kidding me?  You ought to slug him back---only harder.  In fact, you ought to hit first, so he does not smack you.  Go the second mile?  No way…I don’t even want to go the first mile.  And if someone makes me go the first mile, I am complaining all the way.  I certainly don’t plan to go the second mile.  

​The dictionary says complaining is expressing some dissatisfaction.  That is a kind way to put it.  A better description of complaining is to understand it as being annoyed---and letting someone know about how annoyed you are.  My favorite synonym for complaining is to grumble.  Grumble is a “G” word.  It sounds so much more forceful---more gut level.  I can even grumble without using words.  Deep guttural sounds are great to express our dislike---our annoyance.  I see it in print sometimes as Grrrrrrr!  When I hear that, I know someone is not approving!

​Grumbling gets me down because grumbling expresses an opinion without accomplishing anything.  Almost never does grumbling lead to any effective change.  In fact, that usually is the complaint.  I don’t like this and don’t want to be here, but I can’t do anything about it.  Sometimes I grumble because I want someone else to make my life interesting or happy.  And I grumble when they don’t deliver.

​I see grumbling as a spiritual issue.  One of my favorite stories from the Hebrew Bible is the account of God having delivered the Israelites from bondage in Egypt.  That’s the good news.  Free at last!  But God brought them out of being slaves into the wilderness.  Gradually their freedom was transformed into grumbling.  They did not like it.  They did not like the food.  They did not like anything about it.  They grumbled.  they snapped at God, saying at least they had something good to eat back in Egypt.  

​It is enough to make me wonder if grumbling is not some indication that I feel like I am in some kind of wilderness?  My situation is not what I wanted: grumble, grumble.  Someone is not doing what I want: grumble, grumble.  

So what is the alternative?  I suggest it is a second “G” word: gratitude.  This is a spiritual option.  Reframe your situation and see something for which you can be grateful.  Of course, this is difficult in a pandemic---globally or your own personal one.  But learning to be grateful makes a difference; it achieves something.  Scientific studies demonstrate that folks who can learn to be grateful are happier and typically live better lives.  They enjoy life more.  I think learning to be grateful is a savvy way to go, rather than making you a sucker.

Grumbling or being grateful is a choice.  It really does depend on how you see things.  If I can learn to see with my spiritual eyes, then I have a choice.  I can be grateful.  I can even see why I might turn the other cheek and go the second mile.  It may not be easy.  I have years of being ready to gripe when I don’t get what I want.  But I can learn a new habit.

I have a choice of “G” words.    

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I-Thou Relationships

Those of us who have read theology or, perhaps, those who are people of faith and are old enough might well recognize this title as a reminder of the late Jewish philosopher and theologian, Martin Buber.   I remember reading Buber’s book, I and Thou , when I was in college in the 1960s.   It was already a famous book by then.   I am not sure I fully understood it, but that would not be the last time I read it.   It has been a while since I looked at the book.             Buber came up in a conversation with a friend who asked if I had seen the recent article by David Brooks?   I had not seen it, but when I was told about it, I knew I would quickly locate and read that piece.   I very much like what Brooks decides to write about and what he contributes to societal conversation.   I wish more people read him and took him seriously.           ...
13 comments
Read more

Walk the White Line

I was not very far into my run/walk yesterday, when I noticed them.   It was a gorgeous fall day.   It was warm, the sun shone brilliantly in the sky and the leaves are turning multiple colors.   It was a good day to be alive and to be outside.   Besides it was more fun than reading and grading papers!   I noticed ahead of me on the other side of the road a bunch of kids and two adults.   They were just emerging from a yard and were coming toward me on the side of the road that has no sidewalk.   It is not a hugely traveled road, but there are quite a few cars and the road is relatively narrow.   From what I was guessing, there were two mothers and five kids as I differentiated the pack unfolding one person at a time.   Naturally, the kids bolted to the front, forming a single line to include the mothers at the tail of the line.   I was not paying close attention as I loped along in my own little world.   But then I heard thes...
2 comments
Read more

Spiritual Commitment

I was reading along in a very nice little book and hit these lines about commitment.   The author, Mitch Albom, uses the voice of one of the main characters of his nonfiction book about faith to reflect on commitment.   The voice belongs to Albom’s old rabbi of the Jewish synagogue where he went until his college days.   The old rabbi, Albert Lewis, says “the word ‘commitment’ has lost its meaning.”    The rabbi continues in a way that surely would have many people saying, “Amen!”   About commitment he says, “I’m old enough when it used to be a positive.   A committed person was someone to be admired.   He was loyal and steady.   Now a commitment is something you avoid.   You don’t want to tie yourself down.”   I also think I am old enough to know that commitment was usually a positive word.   I can think of a range of situations in which commitment would have been seen to be positive.   For example, growing up was f...
20 comments
Read more