I am always happy when my friends help me both think about and provide some information for me to learn about both new topics and deep topics which continue to demand our thinking. One of these topics is suffering. This is not my favorite topic, but it is inevitable. Most of us in life have to deal at some point with suffering. Most of us are going to do some suffering ourselves before we escape this world. And if we care about others, we will doubtlessly endure some suffering with them.
I don’t think suffering is usually something that you can solve. In that sense it is different from pain. Often if we are experiencing pain---especially the physical kind---we can take something for it to alleviate it. How often folks have headaches, for example, and take some aspirin. Soon the headache subsides and they feel much better. But seldom is there anything comparable to aspirin for suffering. I can be relatively healthy and still suffer. Aspirins don’t do much for emotional suffering.
One of the classics on suffering that I have read is German theologian Dorothee Solle’s classic 1973 book by that name. It is a demanding academic look and not easily translated into everyday terms which can be applied to help people. So when my friend sent a brief email with some quotations, I found that more helpful. I did not need to pull down Solle’s book to do a refresher course on how to think about suffering.
The first quotation my friend sent is from Helen Keller. Keller observes that “The world is full of suffering, it is also full of overcoming it." I think she is correct: the world is full of suffering. Of course, that does not mean all people in all places are suffering. But sooner or later, all will suffer. And at any given time, there is a lot of suffering in the world. Some of that suffering doubtlessly is inevitable. I am not sure any suffering is necessary, but it is inevitable. And sometimes, the suffering is not inevitable, but we are doing things that cause us or others to suffer. This is the most lamentable kind of suffering, because it does not have to be.
Keller is also correct that the world is full of overcoming suffering. It is easy to think of Saint (Mother) Theresa in India. She spent nearly a lifetime trying to overcome suffering. She did not always make things materially any better for the folks to whom she ministered, but she could eliminate some suffering. And there are countless little saints all over the place doing a similar thing. They truly are angels. Maybe we all have this choice---to become angelic in relieving some suffering.
The second quotation my friend sent comes from my favorite dead monk, Thomas Merton. He is always quotable. When I read Merton, he always makes so much sense. This line is no different. Merton notes, “The truth that many people never understand, until it is too late, is that the more you try to avoid suffering the more you suffer because smaller and more insignificant things begin to torture you in proportion to your fear of being hurt.” Merton’s words are rather paradoxical.
The more you try to avoid suffering, the more you will suffer. The first thing this tells me is that you cannot fully avoid all suffering. If you try to do this, you probably will begin to suffer! Your fear of suffering makes you vulnerable to suffering. From the perspective of this fear, you will become vulnerable to suffer from smaller things, which otherwise would not likely be suffering. So I can hear Merton tells us to get on with life and live from a love-based perspective rather than fear-based. Don’t sweat the small stuff. That can make you suffer needlessly.
The last quotation comes from the famous Jewish theologian, Woody Allen. In a little more lengthy quotation, Woody observes that “To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be happy, one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness.” This is a bit funny, as he usually is, but it is also poignant.
To love is to suffer. Anyone who has loved knows this to be true. And the only way to avoid this suffering is not to love. That seems like a bummer. Better to love and suffer than not to love at all. Even to give up love in order not to suffer causes its own kind of suffering. Woody has us on that one!
He then ties happiness into the mix. He tells us we won’t be happy unless we love. To be happy finally is going to give us love and with love, suffering. This is getting complex, but such is life. I am old enough to think I understand what Woody Allen is saying. I have certainly suffered because I loved. And I have avoided love so as not to suffer, but this caused its own kind of suffering. In the end I am willing to love and to suffer from love in order to be happy. And in my happiness, I know there will be some sadness.
And this is all so spiritual, because it describes much about God and the way God deals with us all.
I don’t think suffering is usually something that you can solve. In that sense it is different from pain. Often if we are experiencing pain---especially the physical kind---we can take something for it to alleviate it. How often folks have headaches, for example, and take some aspirin. Soon the headache subsides and they feel much better. But seldom is there anything comparable to aspirin for suffering. I can be relatively healthy and still suffer. Aspirins don’t do much for emotional suffering.
One of the classics on suffering that I have read is German theologian Dorothee Solle’s classic 1973 book by that name. It is a demanding academic look and not easily translated into everyday terms which can be applied to help people. So when my friend sent a brief email with some quotations, I found that more helpful. I did not need to pull down Solle’s book to do a refresher course on how to think about suffering.
The first quotation my friend sent is from Helen Keller. Keller observes that “The world is full of suffering, it is also full of overcoming it." I think she is correct: the world is full of suffering. Of course, that does not mean all people in all places are suffering. But sooner or later, all will suffer. And at any given time, there is a lot of suffering in the world. Some of that suffering doubtlessly is inevitable. I am not sure any suffering is necessary, but it is inevitable. And sometimes, the suffering is not inevitable, but we are doing things that cause us or others to suffer. This is the most lamentable kind of suffering, because it does not have to be.
Keller is also correct that the world is full of overcoming suffering. It is easy to think of Saint (Mother) Theresa in India. She spent nearly a lifetime trying to overcome suffering. She did not always make things materially any better for the folks to whom she ministered, but she could eliminate some suffering. And there are countless little saints all over the place doing a similar thing. They truly are angels. Maybe we all have this choice---to become angelic in relieving some suffering.
The second quotation my friend sent comes from my favorite dead monk, Thomas Merton. He is always quotable. When I read Merton, he always makes so much sense. This line is no different. Merton notes, “The truth that many people never understand, until it is too late, is that the more you try to avoid suffering the more you suffer because smaller and more insignificant things begin to torture you in proportion to your fear of being hurt.” Merton’s words are rather paradoxical.
The more you try to avoid suffering, the more you will suffer. The first thing this tells me is that you cannot fully avoid all suffering. If you try to do this, you probably will begin to suffer! Your fear of suffering makes you vulnerable to suffering. From the perspective of this fear, you will become vulnerable to suffer from smaller things, which otherwise would not likely be suffering. So I can hear Merton tells us to get on with life and live from a love-based perspective rather than fear-based. Don’t sweat the small stuff. That can make you suffer needlessly.
The last quotation comes from the famous Jewish theologian, Woody Allen. In a little more lengthy quotation, Woody observes that “To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be happy, one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness.” This is a bit funny, as he usually is, but it is also poignant.
To love is to suffer. Anyone who has loved knows this to be true. And the only way to avoid this suffering is not to love. That seems like a bummer. Better to love and suffer than not to love at all. Even to give up love in order not to suffer causes its own kind of suffering. Woody has us on that one!
He then ties happiness into the mix. He tells us we won’t be happy unless we love. To be happy finally is going to give us love and with love, suffering. This is getting complex, but such is life. I am old enough to think I understand what Woody Allen is saying. I have certainly suffered because I loved. And I have avoided love so as not to suffer, but this caused its own kind of suffering. In the end I am willing to love and to suffer from love in order to be happy. And in my happiness, I know there will be some sadness.
And this is all so spiritual, because it describes much about God and the way God deals with us all.
Comments
Post a Comment