Recently I was at a gathering for a friend and colleague who passed away. It was not a funeral or memorial service, although the conversation sometimes reminded me of a Quaker memorial service. Inevitably the thoughts of all who gathered were on the guy who had lived eighty plus years, but now was part of that world which has moved on. He had been retired for quite a few years, but clearly he had made a mark in many different ways on many different people. Maybe that is one sign of a good life.
But the experience provoked me to think about life and the memories left after our earthly life is history. I realized that memories are the residue of our lives. They are the “what’s left over…” Of course, sometimes we leave wills and the courts disperses whatever material goods we leave to various folks in our families and friends. All of our stuff is given away---to a surviving spouse, kids, etc. Our stuff is not residual.
But memories are residue. They are left over and can be maintained and sustained as long as someone wants to remember. Sometimes I want to laugh. I think it is hard for me to learn new things because my brain is too full of memories. When you live as long as I have, there are a lot of memories!
I want to think a little about memory as residue. I like the idea of residue because it does mean what is left after something has happened. Residue can be material, like the ashes left over from the wood that is burned. But memories are just as often immaterial. I have countless memories of my two girls in their growing up years. There is little stuff left over. Most of the memories are the residue of the actions they did or that we did together. Often those memories exist as stories that typically begin, “Do you remember when…?”
I realize that some memories are what I call “thick.” There seems to be quite a bit of residue---a lot of stuff left over. These memories are clear and full. Many of them are with family and a big number are with friends. Something we did or what happened when we were together becomes memory when the action is over. Some of those actions-turned-memory are important things that were done. Others seem incidental and hardly worth memory space, but it is seared into my brain anyway.
Like most folks, I assume, I am surprised by some of the stuff I remember and appalled by what I have forgotten that I thought was memorable. I have a lot of books in my study. When students come in, they always ask if I have read them all. I always tell them that is the wrong question. I can say, yes, I have read most of them. But the real question is whether I remember what I read! And the answer is depressingly not as much as I would like to remember. I may have the book on my shelf, but I have no residue in my brain from the book!
I conclude that not all actions leave residue. I want to link this to our spiritual life and action. My spiritual life goes back a few decades. There are many memories, which means there is a good bit of residue of the Spirit’s action in my life. In fact, I can chart my spiritual autobiography based only on the memories I have. One clear demarcation is the early years at my first Quaker meeting and then another chapter after beginning school when we moved to a new farm and a new Quaker meeting in another town.
As I think a little more about spiritual memories, I can distinguish those which may simply be memories of being at a church or being with a group from those memories which actually are the residue of what I consider the Spirit’s direct action on my life. When I think about the Spirit’s action on my life, I consider two categories.
The first category is what I would call direct, immediate experience of the Spirit. I never had a conversion experience, but that would surely qualify as one. But I have had unmistakable, aware-in-the-moment experiences where I was as sure as I could be the Spirit had touched me. Occasionally, these have happened as I sat in meeting for worship. I have had a few when I was in nature. And there are others.
The other category is what I can call indirect, mediated experiences of the Spirit. These have often come in the midst of other people. There are a few folks I would consider deeply spiritual. When I am with one of them, I feel the Spirit. It is as if they are sharing what they have---but it is also my experience. And that action of being touched by the Spirit leaves its residue, which I am now calling memory.
I am grateful for both kinds of memories. They are what’s left over long after the experience itself is gone. But the memory still feels real---as real as if I am right back there in the action itself. I am grateful. And I go forward open and expectant that things will continue to happen---that the Spirit will touch me directly and indirectly---and leave its residue. And I will be enriched with more memories.
But the experience provoked me to think about life and the memories left after our earthly life is history. I realized that memories are the residue of our lives. They are the “what’s left over…” Of course, sometimes we leave wills and the courts disperses whatever material goods we leave to various folks in our families and friends. All of our stuff is given away---to a surviving spouse, kids, etc. Our stuff is not residual.
But memories are residue. They are left over and can be maintained and sustained as long as someone wants to remember. Sometimes I want to laugh. I think it is hard for me to learn new things because my brain is too full of memories. When you live as long as I have, there are a lot of memories!
I want to think a little about memory as residue. I like the idea of residue because it does mean what is left after something has happened. Residue can be material, like the ashes left over from the wood that is burned. But memories are just as often immaterial. I have countless memories of my two girls in their growing up years. There is little stuff left over. Most of the memories are the residue of the actions they did or that we did together. Often those memories exist as stories that typically begin, “Do you remember when…?”
I realize that some memories are what I call “thick.” There seems to be quite a bit of residue---a lot of stuff left over. These memories are clear and full. Many of them are with family and a big number are with friends. Something we did or what happened when we were together becomes memory when the action is over. Some of those actions-turned-memory are important things that were done. Others seem incidental and hardly worth memory space, but it is seared into my brain anyway.
Like most folks, I assume, I am surprised by some of the stuff I remember and appalled by what I have forgotten that I thought was memorable. I have a lot of books in my study. When students come in, they always ask if I have read them all. I always tell them that is the wrong question. I can say, yes, I have read most of them. But the real question is whether I remember what I read! And the answer is depressingly not as much as I would like to remember. I may have the book on my shelf, but I have no residue in my brain from the book!
I conclude that not all actions leave residue. I want to link this to our spiritual life and action. My spiritual life goes back a few decades. There are many memories, which means there is a good bit of residue of the Spirit’s action in my life. In fact, I can chart my spiritual autobiography based only on the memories I have. One clear demarcation is the early years at my first Quaker meeting and then another chapter after beginning school when we moved to a new farm and a new Quaker meeting in another town.
As I think a little more about spiritual memories, I can distinguish those which may simply be memories of being at a church or being with a group from those memories which actually are the residue of what I consider the Spirit’s direct action on my life. When I think about the Spirit’s action on my life, I consider two categories.
The first category is what I would call direct, immediate experience of the Spirit. I never had a conversion experience, but that would surely qualify as one. But I have had unmistakable, aware-in-the-moment experiences where I was as sure as I could be the Spirit had touched me. Occasionally, these have happened as I sat in meeting for worship. I have had a few when I was in nature. And there are others.
The other category is what I can call indirect, mediated experiences of the Spirit. These have often come in the midst of other people. There are a few folks I would consider deeply spiritual. When I am with one of them, I feel the Spirit. It is as if they are sharing what they have---but it is also my experience. And that action of being touched by the Spirit leaves its residue, which I am now calling memory.
I am grateful for both kinds of memories. They are what’s left over long after the experience itself is gone. But the memory still feels real---as real as if I am right back there in the action itself. I am grateful. And I go forward open and expectant that things will continue to happen---that the Spirit will touch me directly and indirectly---and leave its residue. And I will be enriched with more memories.
Comments
Post a Comment