Anybody who
lives to adulthood knows that there are times when life gets tough. I suppose Adam and Eve had it made in
Paradise, but they blew it and found out even then that happiness was not
guaranteed! God had told them not to do
one thing. Of course, they could not
resist! So they grabbed the fruit, ate
it, blamed the serpent and each other, and paid the price. They were kicked out of Paradise.
To quote the
famous book title of John Steinbeck, East of Eden, that is precisely where they
were condemned to live. And all of us
know we live “East of Eden.” In that
place---our place really---is the place of toil, pain, and often,
unhappiness. I could ask for a better
deal, but it won’t matter. We are no
longer in Eden. We are in Cleveland or
New York or London or Moscow. It does
not matter where we are in the globe, because the whole globe is East of
Eden.
I am not sure
Eden was ever a real, literal place.
Even if it were, it does not change my interpretation. More specifically, I am convinced Eden was
metaphorically a place. That means I
feel like Eden was more a particular kind of relationship than a literal
place. Adam and Even lived metaphorically
in Eden when God created them in the beginning.
They were created good. And the
relationship with God and with each other was good.
Good
relationships don’t cause toil. When the
relationship is good, it does not seem to take any work at all. Just ask any pair of lovers. Their relationship is great. They can’t imagine being without the
other. Life is always fantastic. There is no pain. Happiness seems like a sure thing. Many of us have known these kinds of
relationships. But all adults know it is
not realistic for this to go on forever.
The
fracturing of the great relationship with God and with each other came when
Adam and Eve “disobeyed.” Every
relationship has some limitations. God
had simply told them not to do one thing.
It is too easy to complain that God should have put no limits on
them. That way they could have remained
perfect. But that is unrealistic. Human beings are free creatures. And we have to learn how to live into that
freedom and exercise it. In that sense
they had to “prove” their ability to maintain the relationship. They could not do it.
Likely no one
else could do it. I know I have not and
probably cannot in the future. Certainly
all of us now living East of Eden are vulnerable to our own “fall.” Inevitably we too will blow it. Surely all of us will have to deal with those
times when life gets tough. It is
difficult; it causes pain; it produces unhappiness. Just writing these words makes me feel some
sadness. I could wish it were otherwise,
but wishing usually does not produce results.
Yesterday I
spent an entire day with a number of people who were dealing with a situation
in which life got tough. I am sure all
involved wished that we did not have to be there. Everyone could desperately wish to walk right
back into Eden and forget all the nonsense that had transpired. Nobody was having any fun. There was enough pain to satisfy any
cynic. There was not going to be a party
at the end regardless of how things turned out.
And that is
precisely what some of life East of Eden looks like. Invariably there will be occasions when life
gets tough. People hurt and get
hurt. One could be pessimistic and say
it is only a matter of when, not if, one will get hurt when life gets
tough. So what’s one to do?
There is no
recipe for successfully dealing with those times when life gets tough. But I do think there are some very general
guidelines. In the first place, when
life gets tough, try not to make it worse than it already is. Put positively, when life gets tough, at
least we can exercise the most care we can muster. It is time to be careful instead of careless.
Secondly,
when life gets tough, it is not unusual for things to be said or done that mess
up the relationships. This is even true
if getting cancer precipitates my life getting tough. That surely messes up my relationship with my
body. In any of these instances,
forgiveness quite often will be necessary to prevent things from getting
worse. It might even help the healing
process---of cancer and of relationships.
Finally, when
life gets tough, I think there is always a role for love. I know that is an easy word. Clearly, love is easy to manage when life is
great. But love is decidedly needed East
of Eden when life gets tough. When God
banished Adam and Even from Paradise, God did not cease loving them. I would argue that is when God was challenged
really to start loving them. Why should
it be different for us?
When life
gets tough, be careful, be ready to forgive, and be loving.
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