Reconciliation is the Point

 

            I lead a regular group which focuses on contemplative living.  What we want to do is to live our lives spiritually at a deeper level.  We recognize this desire is shared by many people and there are countless resources that can help us in this venture.  There is a huge treasury of saints and spiritual women and men, many of whom wrote extensively about their spiritual lives.  It is easy to get advice.  These days the internet can provide all kinds of “how to’s” and “what to do” suggestions.  I appreciate this and try to make use of some of those resources.

            That said, I am also quite grateful simply to gather with some folks who have the same interest as I do.  We want to live life at a deeper spiritual level.  We recognize there are no magical formulas or sure advice that automatically makes deeper life happen.  Furthermore, we all recognize that there are aspects of our lives which make us hesitant to go deeper.  In my case there are areas of life I am just not ready to give up control.  The Buddhists would say I still am too attached to some things.  My cravings get in my way.  Naturally, I don’t think I crave anything, but of course I admit that it my own self-defensiveness.  I know better!

            Recently, the group spent some time talking about Lent.  Lent is the season many folks in Christian settings “give up” something.  It can be something as innocuous as chocolate.  One person in the group quipped that she didn’t see how giving up chocolate was all that sacrificial. We laughed because that only meant that chocolate didn’t matter much to her.  A chocolate addict would have a very different take on giving up chocolate.

            As a Quaker, I did not grow up with any sense of Ash Wednesday or Lent.  My Quaker meeting did nothing with those.  So I was ignorant and had no understanding.  Through the years having friends---especially Catholic friends---and studying history and theology meant that I come to understand the meaning behind this season in the Christian calendar.  I understood how Lent was tied to Good Friday and Easter.  I learned to appreciate the symbolism.  I could appreciate the intentionality and discipline involved in the forty days of Lent.  I can participate in meaningful ways and I am richer because of it.

            Being in that conversation with my group caused me to remember my favorite Lenten story.  Many years ago a woman in a group I was leading began to meet one-on-one with me.  It was a form of spiritual direction for her.  I knew she was a former Catholic, but she felt alienated from that tradition.  She thought she wanted to become a Quaker.  My job, I thought, was to help her learn a little and to figure out how the Spirit was working in her life.  If she wanted to become a Quaker, that was fine.  That was not my goal.

            Through the conversations I had with her, she began to realize deep down she was still Catholic.  She recognized that she missed the Mass and, especially, she missed participating in the eucharist---the time of communion.  My little group and Quakers had helped her come to appreciate community, but she realized she missed the Catholic community.  We both began to see that she was not becoming a Quaker.  I was helping her become a deeper, more committed Catholic.  I was helping her “go home.”  I celebrated that for and with her.

            She realized none of this could happen in her state of alienation from the Catholic Church.  She knew she should go to confession---known today as reconciliation.  But she also had some hang-ups about that old ritual, as she once knew it.  We both knew the Catholic priest in town, a wonderfully hospitable and gracious human being.  I suggested touching base with him and sharing her story.  She did that.

            True to his nature, he warmly received her.  He suggested she meet with him and me---for reconciliation.  I am not sure that was the official sacramental act as the Church prescribes reconciliation, but I was delighted to meet with her as she discussed and, “confessed,” if you will, her current state and desire to return home to the Catholic community.  He prayed with her and me to facilitate the reconciliation and reunion.  She was restored to the Church and, really, to herself.

            She was able to return to the community and to participate in the various experiences during Holy Week.  Participating in the eucharistic experience on Easter Sunday at Mass was the culmination of her fascinating journey back to her home community.  Reconciliation was the point and being back home and in relationship was the outcome.  But it was not the end of the story.  In fact it was just the beginning of the story.  Now she was given an opportunity to live her life spiritually in a way that made sense to her and enabled her to go deeper.

            I had not thought for a long time of this woman and our journey together.  I can laugh at my failure to get one more Quaker member.  But that was not the point.  Her reconciliation was the point.  It was a privilege to be part of that process.  It is humbling to think that I might have co-operated with the work of the Spirit to help her go where the Spirit was directing her.  If I had a job, that was it: I was supposed to co-operate with the Spirit. 

            Is that not always the story of Lent?  We engage a process of reflection.  If we recognize some need for reconciliation, we take that step.  To reconcile is to be able to go home---home where we find both the Spirit and others in the Spirit.