Recently, I had the occasion to travel back to the city where I used to live. Ostensibly, the reason for the trip was to lead a memorial service for a long-time friend of mine. Whenever I do a memorial service, or funeral as some call it, I am thrown into a “remembering mode.” Probably everyone is. Inevitably, when someone dies, we remember when we met them, what we did, what they said and the list goes on. Even though I had known this guy for a long time and would claim to know him fairly well, we were not close in the way I am close to some folks in my life.
When I am asked to give some leadership to the memorial service, that adds a layer to the normal remembering process. I begin to think thematically about the person’s life. I like to talk with the family to see what they want to see happen in the hour service. In this case, this family wanted some music---but no singing. One of the songs they wanted played was the familiar, “It is Well with My Soul.” I like that song. I spent a few minutes researching the origins of that beloved song.
I learned that Horatio Spafford was a Chicago businessperson and lawyer. He lost significantly in the Chicago fire of 1871 and had a son die of scarlet fever. But he persevered. Later that decade his wife and four daughters preceded him on a vacation trip to England. Tragically, the ship was in an accident and all four daughters were killed at sea. In response to that tragedy and in recognition of his faith, he wrote these words, which were published in 1876.
The first line begins like this: “When peace like a river attendeth my way…”. I am deeply touched that the first thing he addresses is peace. Perhaps only a person of faith can know peace in the midst of the calamities of life and in the presence of death. Spafford continues, “When sorrows like sea billows roll, whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say, “It is well, it is well with my soul.” The last verse underscores faith and points to the hope that faith supports. Spafford prays, “And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight…” In this world and in this life, we live by faith.
Faith is what my dying friend wanted to talk about the last time I saw him lying in a hospital bed only a month before he passed away. In some ways he wanted more than I could give. I realized it was not my ineptitude or lack of knowledge. In Spafford’s language, he wanted to see and I could only talk about faith. Faith is not seeing, but trusting. It is trusting that we will see---that we will understand. Perhaps only in death can we truly say, “I see!” I could only talk about what I thought he might “see.” He wanted more than that. I don’t blame him; I wouldn’t mind knowing more than that, too!
But we live by faith and finally I am ok with that. Faith is for the living. Even at a memorial service, we spend the time remembering the person’s life. This fact made me recall the wonderful words of theologian Brian McLaren. He has a few words which describe the kind of life that a person of faith should want. McLaren says, “What we all want is pretty simple: We want to be alive.” To be alive is different from merely living. As McLaren quips, it is “to feel alive. Not just to exist but to thrive, to live out loud, walk tall, breathe free.” I want to say, Amen. That is the kind of life I want to live. I think and hope that is what life was like for my friend.
To alive does not mean we avoid all heartaches and troubles, but we somehow not only get through them, but we find a way to thrive. McLaren touches on another important point when he acknowledges that “We want to be less lonely, less exhausted, less conflicted or afraid.. .more awake, more grateful, more energized and purposeful.” These words express powerfully what I deeply desire. In fact, I think to be purposeful puts it all into perspective. We have a “why” to our life. That is the faith component. That makes us feel more alive, less lonely and all the rest.
For McLaren and myself, it is tied into the notion of well-being or maybe more simply, wellness. He describes it in this manner. “We capture this kind of mindful, overbrimming life in terms like well-being, shalom, blessedness, wholeness, harmony, life to the full, and aliveness…”
To put life in these terms give us the best possible way to make life as much as it fully can be. The only thing I add, which McLaren is presupposing, is this kind of simple life makes sense in faith. Otherwise, I am not sure why we don’t chase greed, fame or some other fleeting endeavor.
All those other things, however, only serve to complicate life. They are the opposite of the simple life. I know how easily our culture tempts us with the complicated things in life. They offer attractive things, but they turn out to be not what it seems. Choose the simple life---that’s all I want: a pretty simple life. A simple life lived in faith makes for a very good life. And then in the end---finally---we will see.
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