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Eulogy Virtues

Regular readers of this inspirational reflection know that I have significant respect for what David Brooks writes.  His columns appear in the New York Times and sundry other venues.  Although I do not agree with all of Brooks’ political sensitivities, I find his thought to be trenchant and challenging.  Lately, he has been focusing more and more on the culture that we inhabit and the moral deficiencies that come with that culture.  I find this pursuit to be compelling.  So I look forward to new offerings as they come out.           

Recently, his column carried the title, “The Moral Bucket.”  His opening line was inviting.  “About once a month I run across a person who radiates an inner light.”  I resonated with this and wanted to affirm that I, too, occasionally meet that kind of person---the kind who radiates an inner light.  He continues, “These people can be in any walk of life.”           

A bit later, Brooks becomes autobiographical.  He says, “But I confess I often have a sadder thought: It occurs to me that I’ve achieved a decent level of career success, but I have not achieved that.  I have not achieved that generosity of spirit, or that depth of character.”  He helped me see what was at stake: generosity of spirit and depth of character.  Exactly right.  That is what these inner light people have: generosity of spirit and depth of character.  I read on and was not surprised that Brooks decides he wants this in his own life.          

I found it fascinating to read how he resolved to do it.  Brooks said, “A few years ago I realized that I wanted to be a bit more like those people.  I realized that if I wanted to do that I was going to have to work harder to save my own soul.  I was going to have to have the sort of moral adventures that produce that kind of goodness.  I was going to have to be better at balancing my life.”  I am not sure about saving my own soul.  I might have put it differently.  I like the idea of moral adventures; that sounds appropriate.           

In nearly the next breath, Brooks distinguishes between two kinds of virtues.  Because I have written some about virtues, I was intrigued by his distinction.  Brooks declares, “It occurred to me that there were two sets of virtues, the résumé virtues and the eulogy virtues.  The résumé virtues are the skills you bring to the marketplace.  The eulogy virtues are the ones that are talked about at your funeral — whether you were kind, brave, honest or faithful.  Were you capable of deep love?”  I had to smile.  I certainly know about résumé virtues.           

I am ready for some eulogy virtue work, too.  Brooks’ article is much too long to offer all the details.  He offers six themes that typically are part of the person working on eulogy virtues.  The first one is what he calls “The Humility Shift.”  In a few words this one basically says, “get over yourself!”  Brooks captures it very well: “We live in the culture of the Big Me.  The meritocracy wants you to promote yourself.”  The humility shift is counter-cultural.  Brooks describes it this way.  “But all the people I’ve ever deeply admired are profoundly honest about their own weaknesses…They have achieved a profound humility, which has best been defined as an intense self-awareness from a position of other-centeredness.”           

I love the language of “other-centeredness.”  I am sure that is spiritual.  That surely characterizes Jesus and so many of his followers.  I am not sure how this is achieved except in a spirit of love that is rooted deeply in humility.  It is probably what the phrase, “love your neighbor as yourself” is trying to encourage.  It is not a résumé virtue builder.           

I like the way Brooks ends his column.  Almost in jest he claims, “This is a philosophy for stumblers.”  He adds an encouraging word: “The stumbler doesn’t build her life by being better than others, but by being better than she used to be.”  That gives me hope.  I can be better than I used to be.  I don’t have to be Jesus or, even, great.  Ambition virtues try to prepare us for greatness.   I would just like to be me---authentic and a noble version of me.           

I guess I will only know the end of the story at death.  At that point the eulogy will be spoken and we’ll see whether there will be any sense of eulogy virtues.  The good news is I have time.  Thanks to Brooks and all the saints of history, I have a clue how to go about it.  I know my culture does not support this moral adventure.  I am supposed to get all I can get.  I am supposed to beat the others to the punch.          

I choose a different path.  I am thankful to Brooks for helping me with new perspective, new ideas and new language.  I am on to the eulogy virtues!
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