If you are
reading this, you too have survived last year and now are living in a new
year! If you participate in the media in
any form, from reading newspapers to watching tv, you have become aware of a
flood of statistics. There are countless
stories about last year. I have become
aware of the ten most brilliant-this and the ten dumbest-that. As one who watches sports, I have watched the
most amazing-this and the most disappointing-that. Already coaches are losing jobs because of
their involvement in some kind of “disappointing-that.” As I write this, two professional football
coaches have been fired. I can’t imagine
what they will do without their million dollar salaries! As an assistant coach next year, they may
have to scrape by with half that!
The other
annual fascination of mine as last year gives way to a new year is the making
of resolutions. Two staples of the new
year are greeting everyone you meet with the phrase, “Happy New Year!” The other staple is making new year
resolutions. Now I am certainly not
against happy new years. I hope your new
year is happy and I hope you hope my new year is happy. I can’t image anyone saying, “Oh no, I’m
holding out for a sad new year!” Indeed,
give me happiness.
Of course,
the problem with wishing someone a “Happy New Year” is half the time that
person does not even know what would make him or her happy! My suspicion is much of the stuff we think
would make us happy, really would fade if we actually had that. Money is the obvious example. I, too, would be willing to coach a
professional football team for a million dollars. I am assuming a million dollars will make me
happy. It is a great deal more money
than I make and it is more than I have.
And since the American way is to assume more is better and better will
make me happy, then it follows if I can have more money, I will be happy.
Sadly, this
take on happiness simply is not true.
Study after study concludes that money does not guarantee
happiness. Of course, poverty is no
picnic. But if people have enough money,
then generally more money does not enhance happiness. So, if more money is not likely to make me
happy, what will? Sometimes, I really
don’t know. But then, my ultimate goal
in life is not happiness. My ultimate
goal is a meaningful life. That is what
I want to give attention this year.
That leads me
to the other issue: new year’s resolutions.
By now people have made their resolutions. They probably did not put it in legalese
terms like, “be ye resolved.” But they
were resolved. Normally the number one
resolution in America is to lose weight.
Some resolve to quit smoking, to start exercising, etc. These are all commendable and they might even
lead to a happy new year.
But I never
make new year’s resolutions. Be ye
resolved? No! I am not perfect, so there is room for
resolving, if I wanted to do so. I am
not the strongest-willed guy in the world---probably not even in my small
town---but that is not why I don’t make new year’s resolutions. I don’t make new year’s resolutions because
to do so is to have it backwards. It
does not stand much of a chance of succeeding.
Let me explain.
The key is to
notice the sequence: new year’s resolution.
In effect, that sequence says, “it is a new year; I better be
resolved. So what do I resolve?” And then I choose something. However, chances are my heart is not in it. I did not decide to be resolved. I decided that because it is new year’s, I
better be resolved. After all, after
being wished a “Happy New Year,” people will ask me about my new year’s
resolutions! I better have at least one!
I read some
British psychologist who said 88% of the resolutions fail. I have no clue whether it is true, but it is
believable to me. So what is my
alternative? Again, the sequence is key.
If and when I
resolve something, then I can begin to have a “new year.” But I only get that “new year” one day at a
time. For example, let’s say in another
week I resolve to begin praying every day.
Until I actually pray, that “resolution” is nothing more than an idea, a
hope, an intention….but nothing has happened.
However, if I
can pray today, my “new year” has begun.
The calendar won’t flip, but my new year of praying has begun. My old year of not praying is over. But if my resolution of the new year to pray
daily does not happen day 2 and day 3, then my “new year” lasted exactly one
day!
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