I enjoy reading Thomas Merton. In many ways Merton’s life is so different
than my life. And yet so much of what he
says makes sense to me. And so often
what he says helps me think about my own life and how I am trying to make sense
out of my life. I suspect Merton speaks
to so many people because he experienced so much in his life. Merton lived through both big wars of the 20th
century and, then, was active through the Vietnam War. He was an unlikely person to join a rigorist
monastery in the middle of Kentucky. But
again, he made that experience something that spoke to people well beyond a
Catholic monastery. And he still speaks
to people long after his untimely death in 1968.
In a very real sense I consider Merton a friend. I never met him, although I do know and am
friends with people who did know him. I
think the idea of friendship is a good way to enter the world of
spirituality. Friendships are
relationships that reveal so much about who we are, what we think, and to what
we aspire.
I am sure my take on friendships is what made me stop
abruptly when I read the following line from Merton’s book, Confessions of a Guilty Bystander. Merton
wrote, "There are people
one meets in books or in life whom one does not merely observe, meet, or
know. A deep resonance of one’s entire being is immediately set up with
the entire being of the other (Cor ad cor loquitur---heart speaks to
heart in the wholeness of the language of music; true friendship is a kind of
singing)." These words rang true to
my experience. I began to think about
the people I have met in the books I have read.
Merton counts as one such person who fits this quotation.
All of us have met a
large number of people either in real life or in the books and other things we
have read. I wonder how many different
people I have read on my way to getting a doctoral degree so that I could
teach? It must be thousands. I have observed countless people in my
life. I have met many of those
folks. And I even have come to know
quite a healthy number of people. Add
these to all the authors I have read and the number has to be quite large.
But then there is
another, much smaller, number of people.
These are the ones with whom Merton says there is a deep resonance. As he wrote, there is a deep resonance of our
own being with the entire being of the other.
I can think of a few people who fit this experience. I like the word and the idea of “resonance.” To resonate means there is a harmony---a
synchronicity.
Merton puts it well
when he moves to the Latin phrase, cor ad
cor loquitur---“heart speaks to heart.”
I recognized immediately that he was referring to the coat of arms for
John Henry Cardinal Newman, a nineteenth English churchman. Newman was one of Merton’s favorite
figures. That is a great way to express
the deep resonance that happens between two people who meet soulfully.
However, it is how
Merton elaborates this, which I find intriguing. Heart speaks to heart, says Merton, in the
wholeness of the language of music. It
is interesting to think about music having “language.” Certainly music does speak to us. And the kind of music that speaks “heart to
heart” provides the language of this deeply resonating experience of two people
meeting at the level of soul.
Then Merton finishes
the amazing sentence when he says that true friendship is a kind of
singing. When I read this, I had a
double response. On the one hand, I felt
like I knew exactly what he was talking about.
I have true friendships where there was a kind of singing. And that is said by one with little musical
talent! But the resonance and
relationship of this spiritual friendship was musical---it was a kind of
singing. On the other hand, I was not
sure I had a clue what Merton meant. True
friendship is a kind of singing. What
does he mean?
What I do know is
singing is so much richer that merely speaking.
Singing adds melody and tonality to the true friendship. Probably the common language on the street
talks about people “being on the same page.”
That is such a bland way of putting a relationship. Compare that to Merton’s idea of true
friendship is a kind of singing and we see the difference.
I understand true
friendship in two ways. In the first
place true friendship characterizes the relationship Christians have with Jesus
or with the Divinity Itself. It is not
without reason Jesus called those disciples “friends.” In this sense true friendship is spiritual
friendship with God. And surely this is
characterized well by a kind of singing.
The other
understanding of true friendship is the relationship that many of us are graced
to have with other spiritual people. I
can count a few people who have graced my life in this way. We have a deep resonance that can only be
called soulful. There is a spiritual
harmony that results from our soulful relationship. When we are together, we are indeed friends
who sing.
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